Mental arousal combines with a thrusting instinct
Men can orgasm from non-reproductive activity such as fellatio or masturbation. But men obtain the most satisfying sexual release by ejaculating into a lover’s...
The mental focus required to achieve orgasm
Anyone who masturbates needs to use fantasy for arousal. Turn-ons are erotic concepts or images that motivate us to engage in sexual activity. We...
Arousal is psychological and arises in the mind
Sexual arousal arises in the brain and is a form of nervous excitement. In other words, the nervous system is disturbed (more agitated than...
Orgasm is an instinctive response to erotic stimuli
Orgasm is an instinctive response. That means that even when we have no prior knowledge or experience of orgasm, we are still able to...
Orgasm is a one-off release of sexual tension
Sexuality is about appreciating what causes us to become aroused and learning how we can achieve orgasm both alone and with a lover. Orgasm...
Justifying evolutionary and biological precedents
Human sexuality does not stand alone. It is part of a wider picture of the sexuality of all other lifeforms. Even plants have male...
Providing sex information without political bias
Most adults would probably agree on the need to educate children about sex. But it is much more difficult to obtain consensus on what...
How we know that female orgasm is uncommon
Orgasm is achieved by stimulating specific anatomy. This is because mental arousal causes the erectile organ (the phallus) to become tumescent. Confusion over the...
Women only orgasm when alone not with a lover
Men’s drive to penetrate inherently involves another person. But women do not have this hormonal drive that men have. So women have not evolved...
We (not a sex toy or lover) cause our own orgasm
Even when a sex organ is capable of penetration (as the penis is), it cannot cause a lover’s orgasm. For a person to orgasm,...
How we know that female masturbation is rare
Kinsey concluded that masturbation was not only the quickest way for a woman to orgasm (4 minutes on average) but also the most reliable...
The kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear...
Women’s fantasies are sexually explicit scenarios
A responsive woman’s use of fantasies means her experiences do not fit with any of the descriptions of sexual activity that we see portrayed...
How women masturbate themselves to orgasm
Women may be mildly curious about genitals but they are not aroused by them. Neither are women hormonally aroused as younger men are. So...
Educated men masturbate more than other men
Masturbation is least common among less educated males (89%). More men who are high school educated (95%) and men who are college educated (96%)...
How men masturbate themselves to orgasm
Few boys masturbate before the onset of adolescence. Only 10% of boys are masturbating by the age of nine and only 13% by ten...
How anyone achieves orgasm when they are alone
Sexuality is about enjoying the responsiveness of our own body through masturbation. Our mind’s ability to respond to erotic scenarios (both real and imagined)...
How we know women do not orgasm with a lover
Neither women themselves nor their lovers ever comment on the obvious contradiction over assumptions about the female anatomy involved in orgasm. A woman is...
Why couples don’t discuss female arousal
Much of the sexual activity between heterosexuals is carried on without communication. Once intimacy has been established, by kissing for example, a man assumes...
Women fake orgasm to reassure men’s sexual ego
Faking orgasm provides an easy way for a woman to speed up sex and get it over with as quickly as possible. If a...
Women make conscious effort to respond sexually
With all the fiction surrounding women’s sexuality, it is important to appreciate that female sexuality has not evolved solely for the purpose of gratifying...
The erotic pleasure a man enjoys from sex
Men typically initiate sex and they masturbate much more frequently than women do. If male sex drive only involved a desire for orgasm, then...
Men are aroused by seeing and stimulating genitals
Children of both sexes are indifferent to genitals. They may be mildly curious but they consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of...
Only men are aroused by the prospect of sex
Men often vocalise their appreciation on seeing an attractive woman but men are rarely on the receiving end of similar flattery from women. Men...
Understanding a man’s need for erotic turn-ons
For most people, sexual activity whether alone or with a lover is a private affair. We rarely see other people engaging in sexual activity....
An arousal trigger is either an object or a concept
Some boys and young men can be so highly aroused that they orgasm spontaneously or with little time needed to become aroused. But most...
Some people enjoy abstract eroticism and fantasy
Sexuality is about our motivation to explore our fantasies both during masturbation alone and during sex play with a lover. Our ability to reach...
Asking young women to define female sexuality
Young women are naturally impressed by men’s greater confidence. They are full of romantic illusions and curiosity. They have the inexperience and the optimism...
Difficulties in assessing women’s sexuality
Our understanding of female sexuality must reflect what real women are physically and emotionally capable of. The advantage of a realistic approach is that...
Sex without consent is rape regardless of intent
It’s important to appreciate that the situation where a man rapes random strangers is rare. These men (called rapists) specifically enjoy the violence of...
Child sexual abuse, incest and paedophilia
Paedophiles blatantly challenge the concept of consent. Paedophilia involves a few men who are sexually attracted to pre-pubescent children. Many paedophiles control their urges...
Domestic violence and emotional abuse in the home
Domestic violence (violence in the home), with women and children as primary victims, is a major worldwide epidemic. The majority, an estimated 90 percent...
Sexual insults, bullying and habitual harassment
Young people should understand what makes a positive relationship and what makes a bad one. There are benefits and risks involved in relationships depending...
Sexual scenarios tend to be biased in men’s favour
No one ever admits that sex is biased in men’s favour. Accounts of female orgasm are heavily promoted and accounts of harassment, exploitation and...
Male propaganda: saying women should enjoy sex
Ask a woman in any developing country about sex and she will tell you it is for male pleasure and making babies. Try asking...
Intercourse is a territorial act of male dominance
In a society where men and women raise families together, intercourse is presented as a lovemaking act. But by looking at Nature we can...
Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo
Penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal intercourse) has a special role in our concept of eroticism. Penetration by a phallus is key to our...
The significance of nudity and being touched
Private parts refer to the anatomy that we may want (or be required) to cover up. Private parts include the buttocks, the genitals and...
Consent is vital even within loving relationships
Sexuality is about the choices we make to explore our sexuality both alone and with a lover. The way in which we express our...
Why women cannot orgasm through intercourse
Male orgasm through intercourse is crucial to human reproductive biology.
(1) Intercourse is totally defined by male responses
Intercourse is a demonstration of the male arousal...
How we know that the vagina is not a sex organ
Orgasm is a primitive and fundamental response of the human body because male orgasm triggers ejaculation, which is vital for reproduction. Male orgasm involves...
Women’s orgasm claims do not result in more sex
Let’s imagine, for a moment, that men and women experience the same level of responsiveness (orgasm frequency). Even so, responsiveness varies between individuals. There...
Women are often unsure about orgasm during sex
If intercourse caused female orgasm, there wouldn’t be a mystery that needed researching in the first place. Any scientific account of female responsiveness has...
Women are naturally sexually passive with a lover
Imagine a woman who responds like a man. She is highly aroused from the start. She strips her lover naked to see his genitals....
The receiver of intercourse need not be aroused
Alfred Kinsey concluded that female masturbation provided the most convincing evidence for female orgasm. Kinsey found that lesbians and responsive women had orgasms on...
Intercourse is totally defined by male responses
Men have much more confidence over sexual matters than women because sex revolves around male responses. A man’s arousal motivates him to initiate sexual...
How we know that women do not have a sex drive
Women’s dislike of eroticism means that men learn to keep their responses to themselves. Men’s embarrassment over communicating their sexual needs (due to the...
Sex drive: a need to ejaculate through intercourse
Male sex drive arises from the build-up of sexual tension (through regular arousal). Men may be able to relieve tension to a degree by...
Intercourse is an act of mating and impregnation
Sexuality is about the act of mating. Humans do not have sex simply in order to reproduce. We also have sex to enjoy pleasure...
The story behind the G-spot myth (1982)
In the 1980s, Beverly Whipple and John Perry were teaching Kegel exercises to women with urinary stress incontinence. They identified a patch of tissue...
Platonic love is just as powerful as sexual love
When sexual performance is discussed, the sexual ego, bravado and general unpleasantness that is so often displayed is due to insecurities. Everyone wants to...
The romantic pleasure a woman enjoys from sex
In modern times we talk of sexual partners but in the past, heterosexuals more often talked of lovers. Women do not think of sex...
Women drive the need for dating and romance
Without sex, there may be friendship between adults but there is little physical intimacy. Heterosexual women are dependent on men to provide this sense...
Women do not need to be like men to be valid
Sex educators think women need to be educated about masturbation and the clitoris. Yet no man ever needs to be told about masturbation and...
Ego means men overlook what women contribute
Prostitutes must have more sexual experience than even the most promiscuous of men. But a prostitute is never called a great lover. Men attribute...
Men’s sex drive can cause them to be insensitive
Men’s sex drive motivates them to take the sexual initiative. Men are foremost attracted to body parts but they also like a lover who...
Sex is an emotional bonding mechanism for men
For men, sex is like a magic pill that makes the world seem more positive. Some men look to women as a distraction from...
Men’s sexual satisfaction relies on having a lover
The key purpose of sex is to effect reproduction, which is done via intercourse. So men’s sexuality has to include a need to engage...
Sexual attraction and commitment to a relationship
Especially in the early days of a romance, both sexes can feel an electric thrill from touching, hearing or seeing a lover. We have...
Understanding the value of non-sexual intimacy
Sexuality is about our emotions and how we feel loved in our relationships with others. Although sex is often described in terms of eroticism,...
Lesbianism focuses on longer-term relationships
Only 2% of women are exclusively gay (half as common as male homosexuality). The average age to come out is 17 years old for...
Male homosexuality focuses on casual sex
Kinsey found that only 50% of the men in his sample were exclusively heterosexual. Many men (46%) were attracted towards other men even if...
Orientation is defined by who we are attracted to
The genes that cause us to be homosexual arise in random individuals throughout the population. Homosexuality is a completely harmless and natural orientation for...
Men cannot accept that women are unresponsive
Men’s experience of women is based on their observation of their lovers. Couples, even in long term relationships, do not discuss the details of...
Characteristics of low sexual responsiveness
Research indicates that single women are not nearly as promiscuous as single men. Most men engage in sexual activity, even if it is only...
Factors that are believed to affect male responsiveness
Factors that affect men’s orgasm frequencies include their age, the age at which they reached adolescence, as well as their level of education and...
Characteristics of high sexual responsiveness
As a boy grows into a man, he sees men bragging about their assumed success in providing a woman with amazing sexual pleasure. He...
Sexual responsiveness is a male characteristic
Male orgasm is not directly linked to reproduction, but ejaculation is required. The function of male orgasm is to trigger the ejaculation of sperm....
Responsiveness varies between individuals
We have no conscious control over our responsiveness. Our ability to enjoy eroticism is an instinctive and subconscious response. Our responsiveness is a factor...
Sexual responsiveness and orientation
Sexuality is about responsiveness and orientation, both of which are determined before we are born. Among the genes we inherit from our parents are...
Shere Hite’s research findings (1976)
Shere Hite’s work was a thesis produced for her doctorate in sexuality. Her research had much lower funding than Kinsey’s and so was more...
Bill Masters and Virginia Johnson’s research (1966)
William Masters and Virginia Johnson observed volunteer couples having intercourse in the laboratory. Female orgasm was simply assumed to occur as a result of...
Over time women often become focused on family
Female mammals are involved in grooming, feeding and affectionate play with their young. Female mammals are always smaller and more nervous than males. This...
Young women tend to focus on their attractiveness
A girl first becomes aware of herself as a sexual being when men start commenting on her breasts. The breasts develop from around 12.4...
At puberty girls develop a child-bearing capacity
From a young age, most girls demonstrate a more passive and timid personality than most boys. Girls often focus on social activities rather than...
Men tend to focus on opportunities for intercourse
Sex may not be the only reason men seek relationships with women, but it is the key reason. Men’s sex drive focuses them on...
Young men tend to focus on enjoying their arousal
Men are valued for their physical strength, their practical skills and their personal confidence (leaderships skills). Young men increase their muscle mass at puberty...
At puberty boys develop a reliable arousal cycle
From a young age, many boys already demonstrate a more active and outgoing personality than most girls. Boys enjoy physical activities such as sport...
The internal anatomy involved in reproduction
Our sex is determined by chromosomes. A man has an XY chromosome and a woman has an XX chromosome. There are other combinations (involving...
The female erectile sex organ (or phallus)
In the absence of testosterone, the genital tubercle forms the female phallus, called the clitoris. The clitoris consists of the glans and the internal...
The male erectile sex organ (or phallus)
A man’s sex organ (penis) is separate from his internal reproductive anatomy (testes and glands) but also integral. The penis has three main functions.
Firstly...
Human sexual anatomy and development
Sexuality is about appreciating the human body and sexual anatomy. We should understand the function of the male and female genitalia as well as...
The influence of religious beliefs on sexuality
Each culture has its own set of values. Some people consider these beliefs to be more important than others. While we are children, our...
Responsibility for contraception and abortion
The (contraceptive) pill, taken on a daily basis by a woman, contains hormones that stop her ovaries producing eggs. A condom, worn by the...
Intercourse involves reproductive risk for women
Men tend to focus on sexual pleasure so we often equate sexuality to responsiveness. Orgasm is certainly one erotic pleasure that motivates a person...
Intercourse needs to continue until ejaculation
A man is biologically motivated to impregnate a woman through an on-going process of demonstrating his virility (as a potent male who may be...
Intercourse is the heterosexual lovemaking act
When a man and a woman are attracted to each other, intercourse feels very natural. This is no coincidence. The male and female body...
Why women feel inadequate about their bodies
Given women’s dislike of genitals, many of the terms for the female genitals come from men and are considered obscene by women. Rather than...
Why men feel inadequate over penis size
Men’s sexual role (after impregnating women) is to protect the family. In an aggressive situation a man must be physically large and muscular to...
How the male and female sexual roles differ
Primitive life, such as bacteria, reproduce asexually. But most animals and plants reproduce sexually. Offspring inherit genes from both parents. Even in plants, the...
Diversity: our sex, our personality and our gender
Sexuality includes our sex, our personality and our gender. The reason we have two sexes is for diversity. Some people like being different. They...
Reproduction involves more than just intercourse
Sexuality is about reproduction. But human reproduction involves much more than intercourse. The distinct male and female roles are apparent from nature. The female...
Alfred Kinsey’s research findings (1948 and 1953)
Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues held private interviews with over 10,000 people. His team classified people according to sex, age and education level. They...
Men have typically led the research into sexuality
Sigmund Freud, the Austrian psychologist (1856 to 1939), was the first scientist of note to talk of female sexuality. Freud’s methods were based on...
Sexual pleasure need not always focus on orgasm
Alfred Kinsey concluded that any research that involved making subjective judgements of the emotional rewards of sex activity would make it impossible to compare...
Why women do not orgasm from cunnilingus
Men believe that cunnilingus causes female orgasm. But where does this belief come from? It doesn’t come from any research findings. Cunnilingus is clearly...
Sexual pleasure is defined by sociable activity
Mammals use grooming to connect socially with others. They also snuggle up together for warmth and comfort. Regardless of responsiveness, it can be reassuring...
Only some men are motivated to offer foreplay
There must inevitably be some men who are content with the frequency and quality of sex that their female partners provide. This may be...
A man needs to make sex exciting for a woman
When women see men, they think of sex. You could equally well say that men think the same thing when they see women. But...
Sexual techniques that may pleasure a woman
Men engage in sexual activity to release accumulated arousal through thrusting and orgasm. By contrast, even responsive women only generate the kind of arousal...
How a couple can bring variety to intercourse
Few women provide explicit erotic turn-ons. But most, at least initially, are affectionate. Demonstrating affection involves close physical intimacy and causes male arousal. When...
A man wants a partner to make love to his penis
When aroused, men experience rigidity of the sex organ (the penis). But this increased blood flow, although concentrated in the genitals can also affect...
Sexual techniques that may pleasure a man
Men hope that a lover will enjoy contributing enthusiastically to their intimate time together: sharing fantasies, sex play and affection. Arousing a man is...
How to make the most of sexual pleasuring
Sexuality is about enjoying sexual pleasure with a lover. We experience sensual, emotional and erotic pleasure. A sex education should include a description of...
Why couples struggle to communicate over sex
Sex is most rewarding for a woman in the romantic scenario of a new relationship. In the beginning a man’s easy arousal means that...
How a woman can interest a man in having sex
Sex occurs much more easily in the early stages of a relationship because being affectionate with each other provides the most natural lead-in to...
How a man can have relationship sex more often
Nature never intended men to be monogamous. In every society, men’s greater inclination for promiscuity is accepted as a natural and defining characteristic of...
The role of relationship therapists and counsellors
Adults are embarrassed about sex because of their emotional insecurities. Our emotional needs include a need to impress, a need to belong and a...
Anorgasmia, preorgasmia and vaginismus
Women who masturbate themselves to orgasm are called pre-orgasmic. Rather than celebrate the fact that they experience orgasm, the implication is that women are...
Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction
It’s not uncommon for a man to have a problem with erections from time to time. But erectile dysfunction (ED) that happens routinely is...
The misunderstandings behind sexual dysfunction
True sexual dysfunctions are very rare. The word dysfunction implies that something is not working properly. In order to define dysfunction, we must first...
Sex as a bargaining chip in loving relationships
When we are single, we can focus on our own selfish needs. But when we have a relationship with another person, we need to...
The misconceptions that arise from pornography
Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. The female body is sexualised and objectified (projected in way that causes male arousal)....
Men and women’s perspectives on relationships
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades...
Everyone achieves orgasm in similar ways
Orgasm is a primitive response of the human body. It is achieved through an identical mechanism regardless of gender and orientation. The key characteristics...
Explaining men and women’s sexual behaviours
Men and women behave very differently in sexual scenarios. Key behaviours include male promiscuity, women’s sexual passivity and women’s focus on relationships. We use...
Sexual behaviours compensate for responsiveness
We cannot start to understand sexuality unless we differentiate between responsiveness and conscious behaviours. For the most part, our minds and bodies function in...
Misunderstandings over how orgasm is achieved
The issue of female orgasm with a lover is at the core of sexual politics. Men want to feel valued as lovers. Women want...
Women have varying degrees of sexual willingness
Human beings are sociable animals. Most of us want to be accepted in our social group. We want to share experiences. We hope to...
Women are often disappointed with casual sex
We are all living longer due to improved health and lifestyles. So ‘til death do us part’ is much longer than it used to...
Women attract men by sexualising themselves
We wear clothes for protection, for warmth, for decency and also for display. The need to differentiate ourselves depends on our personality. Many women...
The sexual politics of women competing over men
If men and women wanted the same thing there would be no sexual politics. Men and women are at odds because they want different...
Sex as a competitive sport and erotic entertainment
A woman values a man as a social asset (who has status and experience). But a man values a woman as a sexual asset....
Women are not respected for being promiscuous
A polite way of expressing some men’s enjoyment of promiscuity is to say that they like the ladies. There is no equivalent expression to...
Prostitution generally involves men paying for sex
There have always been some women who are willing to offer men sex on demand. But they want to be paid. By far the...
The sex industry focuses on male gratification
Sexuality is about talking, observing or interacting with others in return for payment or other non-relationship rewards. Depending on our personality we may employ...
Differences between men and women’s responses
One of the major differences between the way men and women respond in sexual scenarios is that being touched by a lover, is emotionally...
How we know that someone has had an orgasm
Orgasm is a subconscious response but we need to take conscious actions to achieve it. A responsive person knows when they have had an...
Women mistake emotional sensations for orgasm
Female orgasm is not an issue in sexual relationships because the vast majority of women accept sex for what it is. Such women describe...
Similarities between men and women’s responses
Orgasm is a basic physiological response of the human body. Just as the same mechanism causes men and women to sneeze, so we also...
The male psychology of seeing a lover as a sex object
Unlike emotional attachments, arousal is not caused by a specific person or by a relationship. Arousal relies on being able to see a person,...