Home Emotional aspects of sexuality Vaginal intercourse Women’s orgasm claims do not result in more sex

Women’s orgasm claims do not result in more sex

Let’s imagine, for a moment, that men and women have the same level of responsiveness (orgasm frequency). Even so, it is unlikely that two people would have exactly the same responsiveness because responsiveness varies between individuals. There would inevitably be times when one or other person wanted more sex. There would be many complaints from women of all ages that they were not getting enough sex. This does not happen.

Alfred Kinsey found a correlation between male responsiveness and the age at which men became adolescent (defined by a boy’s first ejaculation). Men who became adolescent before the age of twelve were about twice as responsive (their orgasm frequencies were twice as high) as men who became adolescent at a later age. A single man masturbates and is free to have intercourse with different lovers. Kinsey found that once men married, they masturbated less because they substituted intercourse with their wives. But any two people are likely to have different levels of responsiveness. So married men’s intercourse frequencies should be affected by their wives’ responsiveness. This is not the case. Kinsey was surprised to find that there was exactly the same correlation between age of adolescence and orgasm frequency for married men as for single men. This means that couples have intercourse with frequencies that depend solely on a man’s responsiveness.

Kinsey also found couples have intercourse with a regularity that is not matched by any other activity that women engage in. He found that women orgasm through masturbation or lesbian activities only once every 2 to 3 weeks. It is highly unlikely that women have an orgasm by any means every time a man has one because of their lower responsiveness. Young couples have intercourse on average between two and four times a week but by forty this drops to once a week because of the decline in male responsiveness.

Women’s orgasm claims have no effect whatsoever on the intercourse frequencies of heterosexuals. Women who claim to orgasm are no more amenable to intercourse than other women. Nor do they initiate intercourse more than women who know orgasm is impossible. All the eulogising about sex and presumed enthusiasm for sex, does not lead to more sex for men.

The willingness of some women to provide male turn-ons by suggesting that male fantasies are a reality make it difficult for couples to find answers. The fact that women do not respond as men think they should, makes sex taboo. Some women provide turn-ons that are directed towards getting what those women want. This is sometimes called prick teasing because a woman’s objective is rarely to provide male gratification but typically only to titillate.

Some women on the web and in society refer to masturbation to be fashionable but they have no interest in discussing explicit details. Men attribute this reluctance to discuss sexual phenomenon to female modesty. Women often dislike erotic detail and yet arousal is caused by explicitness. By refusing to give details, women defend their ignorance.

Women who boast about orgasm with a lover dismiss masturbation as inferior. They are confident to do so because they know that men are primarily interested in women’s sociable responses. These women obviously don’t appreciate that the research indicates they have almost certainly never had a real orgasm. No woman is called dysfunctional for not masturbating. Female orgasm with a lover is political because of men’s desire for women to be sexually willing.

If women wanted sex, they would walk around naked all the time and display themselves for male appreciation. Women are modest about being naked because they know men will want sex. So they take steps to avoid it. If women wanted intercourse as men do, they could make money easily.

Sex provides men with both physical gratification and the satisfaction of expressing their masculinity. Women don’t obtain physical gratification from sex. Women have sex for fun, for ego or to obtain a non-sexual reward such as money or love. They also offer sex to a long-term lover as a means of maintaining a relationship or a family. With the advent of reliable contraception some women are willing to engage in casual sex. But the vast majority of women still prefer to have sex with someone they care about.

A woman’s body sustains others. Her breasts feed the baby and her vagina satisfies a man’s sexual needs. A woman may feel loved just because she is needed by those she loves. A woman can enjoy the ability of her body to provide a man with the sexual release that he needs. Women may assume their vagina is a sex organ because it provides men with so much pleasure.

Orgasms are elusive. Most women don’t have one every time (or maybe even most times) they hit the sheets. Plenty of surveys—and likely your own bedroom experience—verify that. (Anna Davies 2013)