In a society where men and women raise families together, intercourse is presented as a lovemaking act. But by looking at Nature we can see that mating is an act of male assault. By depositing his sperm in her body, a man potentially forces a woman to bear his progeny. A woman responds to rape with loud vocal and strenuous physical objections, which involves most adrenaline (and so is most exciting) for a man. Consensual intercourse is an artificial scenario where a woman lets a man potentially impregnate her.
A woman’s consent means that the natural turn-ons of a resisting partner are absent. A woman has little response to consensual intercourse because there is no erotic arousal and little physical sensation. But if a woman lies inert while her lover thrusts into her, he feels that she is unloving. Men put emotional pressure on women to provide a response to intercourse. No one can suppress their natural responses so this is clearly a conscious behaviour. A woman is obliged to consciously provide the noises and body movements that make intercourse more erotically rewarding for a man. Ironically, a man interprets this cooperation with intercourse as a sign of female arousal.
Intercourse begins with a man’s arousal because it relies on a man having an erection. Intercourse comes to an end with male orgasm and ejaculation because a man loses his erection. This is why male performance (the ability to become aroused and orgasm) is critical to heterosexual activity. Female performance has come to refer to women’s skill at providing male turn-ons.
Men are inclined to portray sex as a male conquest. The woman’s role is belittled. Hence why sex is often demeaning for women. We can see from Nature that the mating act is a territorial act of male dominance that subjugates the female. For men, intercourse is foremost an erotic act, not necessarily a loving act. In our society men are shamed for being dominant (violent and bullying) and women are shamed for being submissive (timid and modest). Yet these natures lie at the very heart of human reproduction.
The implication of male sexual bravado is that women are just helpless victims. Some men approach sex with an egotistical attitude as if a woman represents nothing more than a territorial conquest for them before they move on to the next. Men tend to condone male infidelity but not a woman who cheats. They assume a woman has no sexual agenda of her own. Some women enjoy the ego of a man desiring them even as a one-off occasion.
Men boast about sexual conquests as if women are objects rather than people with minds and choices. They laugh at women’s embarrassment or anger at being treated in this way. This male behaviour causes women to conclude that sex is an experience men gain from at women’s expense. This is why women demand respect. Men talk about “giving her one” as if it’s a form of punishment. The word bitch is used for female animals but when a man says to another man “You can be my bitch” he is reflecting the attitude of the dominant and penetrating male. Women are in some way violated or sullied by intercourse whereas men have won something.
Bravado is a way of covering up embarrassment. Adults use euphemisms to imply a fashionable sexual sophistication while avoiding the need to be explicit. Movies use sound effects to imply off-screen sexual activity: a regular banging (of a bed against a wall) and a woman moaning. Men laugh at such innuendo but women are embarrassed. Women (and also men in the presence of women) refer politely to copulation as lovemaking.
There are many slang terms for intercourse, which are sexually explicit. Men talk about fucking, humping and banging which describe so succinctly the male urge to thrust into a vagina until ejaculation. Women are the people being humped or banged. Such terms offend women because they emphasise women’s role in providing an orifice to be penetrated. Shagging and screwing are used as more mutual terms, implying that a woman may be participating more proactively by assisting with penile stimulation. In an attempt at equality, women use fuck to describe this more proactive role.
Men often marry women who are hard to get. Male pride (based on territorial instinct) means a man can be more sure of a wife’s sexual loyalty. Men are attracted foremost to timid and modest women. This is because men want control in sexual situations. They tend to steer clear of strong and proactive women. Men also prefer virgin territory because they don’t want to be compared to other men. Men dislike female promiscuity because a man wants to feel his lovemaking skills differentiate him from other men.
One would think that heterosexual men would want to protect and love women. Yet men abuse women, assault them, rape them and even kill them. Strangely, only heterosexual men attack women. Men abuse prostitutes because of their resentment of their partners who withhold sex. If women were as willing as the fantasy implies, men would have no reason to harm a source of sexual pleasure. Some men are much more inclined to violence than others. Most men simply find another partner or sexual outlet.
In species where there is a struggle before the female submits to coitus, the male must be physically dominant and capable of controlling the female. In the ultimate act it is the male which more often mounts in back of the female and makes the active pelvic thrusts which effect intromission. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)