Home Emotional aspects of sexuality Consensual sex Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo

Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo

Penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal intercourse) has a special role in our concept of eroticism. Penetration by a phallus is key to our view of what sex is about. Both sexes may be aroused by the concept of either being the penetrator or being penetrated regardless of sexual orientation. Both men and women can use an artificial phallus to simulate penetration as a turn-on either for themselves or for a lover. Both sexes can be penetrated by a phallus or dildo but only a man can penetrate a lover with his own sex organ. Even without arousal, the receiver of penetration (by finger or dildo) can experience the sensations of allowing another person to be so intimate.

Penetrative sex involves a penis penetrating another person (vagina or rectum) and thrusting until ejaculation. Only the giver (not the receiver) has an orgasm from intercourse. Sexual activity need not equate to intercourse but when it does the penetrator needs to be highly considerate of his lover. A woman is obliged to cooperate with intercourse for as long as a man needs to ejaculate. A woman has to remain in position until a man has finished. Women accept this instinctively and because of the authority of male sex drive. A man’s needs, including ejaculating into a vagina, are very evident. Women’s ability to continue sexual activity indefinitely is due to lack of arousal. Their amenability is due to their instincts to care for those they love.

Intercourse provides a man with the sexual release he needs. It is generally accepted that a person (male or female) needs to be at least 18 years old before they can deal with this world of aggression and sexual pressure generated by men. Women cannot understand why men find such a mundane and repetitive act (of a penis thrusting into a vagina) so fascinating. Men can’t understand why women are so offended by sexual references.

Intercourse relies on a man’s sex drive to penetrate another person’s body (vagina or anus). Penetrative sex (intercourse) is core to what we consider to be sexual and erotic. Penetration represents the most dangerous, most taboo and yet most exciting of all sexual activity. Any mating act is a male conquest. The female is subjugated (dominated) in sexual terms. Women rarely appreciate eroticism because it is naturally defined from a male perspective.

Intercourse makes perfect sense to a man. A man’s sexual role is to impregnate a woman. A woman’s role is much less obvious. Sex is something that is done to a woman. Nothing in a woman’s mind or body motivates her to want intercourse. In consensual intercourse a woman accepts her lover’s attentions by cooperating with intercourse and facilitating male orgasm. When in love, a woman may reciprocate by demonstrating her affection.

A man doesn’t need an experienced lover to obtain the release he needs from intercourse. Men target young women because they are more easily flattered into being sexually amenable. Young women enjoy being admired as long as men are respectful. But over time they realise that men’s focus is the pleasure they obtain from ejaculating into a woman’s vagina. Men are motivated by their own pleasure rather than emotional feelings for a lover.

Young women especially often put up with pain and discomfort to provide a man with the regular intercourse he needs. A woman’s vagina may not be adequately lubricated for intercourse to be comfortable. The first rule of sexual pleasure is: if it hurts, don’t do it or if it’s painful, stop doing it. Young women may need to use a water-based lubricant. The action of a man’s groin pounding into a woman’s vulva can also cause damage by squashing the delicate skin of her labia. A man should vary his thrusting technique and may need to back off intercourse for a while until a woman has healed up.

If women wanted intercourse as men do, they could make money easily. Sexual harassment and rape are common, not only because of male sex drive, but also because women routinely reject men’s sexual advances outside a loving relationship. If women wanted sex, they would walk around naked all the time and display themselves for male appreciation. Women are modest about covering up their private parts because they know men are aroused by them. Women take steps to avoid sex. Sexual assault is common and even men are propositioned by gay men. But a man can hope to fight off an attack if necessary. Women carry weapons in case they are attacked.

Anal intercourse is much less popular among heterosexuals than among gay men. Women have a natural dislike of genitals but even more so, of the anus, which they regard as massively taboo. In any context, women have a strong preference for cleanliness and hygiene. Vaginal intercourse is messy enough but even the idea of anal intercourse is quite abhorrent to most women. Vaginal intercourse has a moral justification (since it is required for reproduction) and so it is a much more socially acceptable sexual activity. Consequently, anal intercourse is associated mainly with male homosexuals.

Women’s lack of arousal with a lover means that they have little reason to explore sex play. Some women invest in sex play out of curiosity and to please their lover. Vaginal intercourse requires much less skill on the part of the penetrator since the vagina is designed to be easily penetrated by a penis. Ironically, women also prefer the lack of stimulation provided by vaginal intercourse because it is less explicit erotically. A woman can be oblivious to what a man is doing to her sexually because she can feel nothing from penetration. Both male sex drive and women’s preference to leave all the stimulation of sexual activity to a man, naturally assist with reproduction.

Heterosexual contacts occur more frequently because they are facilitated by the greater submissiveness of the female and the greater aggressiveness of the male. (Alfred Kinsey)

Excerpt from Learn About Sexuality (ISBN 978-0956-894748)