Wednesday, September 11, 2019
Home Intellectual aspects of sexuality Masturbation How women masturbate themselves to orgasm

How women masturbate themselves to orgasm

Given the confusion over how it is achieved, female orgasm is evidently very rare. So we will never have millions of women agreeing on how they orgasm. The best we can hope for is a scientific justification of women’s orgasm techniques. If our motivation to masturbate arises because someone tells us we should or because we buy a sex toy or out of a wish to experience orgasm, nothing will happen. Orgasm occurs because we have an instinctive response to eroticism. We are motivated to masturbate because we feel a sense of excitement in our minds when thinking about an erotic scenario.

Orgasm arises from stimulating the anatomy men and women have in common, the phallus. The clitoris is stimulated in much the same way a man masturbates his penis. As for a man, a woman directs most of the stimulation to massaging the blood flow within the corpora cavernosa (resulting from mental arousal) within the body (or shaft) of the clitoris. A responsive woman rubs the loose skin over the glans and presses her fingers down into the internal organ (either side of the labia). This external manual massaging is combined with internal pelvic pressure on the clitoral organ, achieved by a rhythmic thrusting motion and clenching the buttock muscles.

When we need to urinate or defecate, we become increasingly conscious of what is normally a subconscious body function. Our brain makes us aware of the need to take action. But a woman never has a biological (or any other) need to orgasm. So a woman is never conscious of her physical arousal except when anticipating an opportunity for masturbation. A responsive woman only embarks on masturbation when her mind is responding to a fantasy. The feelings she has in anticipation of sex are quite different. She is conscious of them but they do not equate to the arousal that leads to orgasm. The sensations, which are probably due to increased blood flow in the pelvis, are more diffuse (not focused specifically on the clitoral organ).

The initial catalyst for masturbation is the thought appearing in a woman’s mind that orgasm might be possible. There is a mandatory period of time upfront, when a woman has to decide whether she can generate enough arousal for orgasm. This is the most critical and often the longest phase. She cycles through possible fantasies to see if her mind is going to respond. Initially she may rely on material from erotic literature. Over time these scenarios are reused over and over by relying on memory. She only uses a handful of scenarios. She homes in on the aspects of sex that she knows from past experience are most likely to arouse her sufficiently for orgasm.

One of the first signs of female arousal is a very slight genital response to a woman’s mind responding positively to a sexual scenario. When she massages over her glans, a responsive woman feels a slight tingling. She is conscious of a sense of excitement as her genitals become tumescent and an increase in heart rate or breathing. If a woman is not responding, then fantasies that would normally arouse her seem unappealing. She just abandons the idea. She may feel a mild sense of disappointment but no frustration. Female arousal is easily dissipated by real-world interruptions.

While a woman is waiting for the inspiration of the fantasy to take effect, she lies on her front somewhere comfortable like a bed, with her fingers from both hands over her vulva. She massages over her clitoral glans while reading. Initially, she keeps her fingers in position over the top of the glans (protected by the surrounding skin) and moves her hips from side to side or in a circular motion while concentrating on her fantasy. A woman holds her breath as she concentrates, followed by involuntary sharp intakes of breath. If someone is sleeping nearby, she tries to avoid gasping and disturbing them. A woman stimulates herself much less aggressively than the action men use to masturbate. A man jerks himself off in rapid, vigorous movements but a woman uses a slower rhythmic massaging motion.

At the start of a session, a woman focuses stimulation over the clitoral glans. She uses the fingers of both hands to exert firm pressure. She presses the skin over (the hood of) and around the glans (the labia) down toward the perineum. As her sexual tension increases, a woman feels that orgasm is close. She shifts the focus of her stimulation. She presses her fingers down more firmly into the spongy tissue surrounding the labia (immediately below the pubic bone) essentially kneading the internal clitoral organ. This second stage of stimulation also involves putting regular pressure on the internal organ by clenching her buttocks. She uses a squeeze technique, which thrusts the pelvis forward. The clitoral organ is squeezed between her fingers in front (external) and her pelvic muscles behind (internal).

A woman’s mental focus (which blocks out all awareness of her surroundings) throughout is on the fantasy until she orgasms. A woman imagines a penetrator’s excitement, which culminates in an urge to ejaculate. She uses both hands to push down firmly and closes her eyes as she orgasms. Once her mind has tuned into a fantasy a woman can orgasm within a minute or two. A woman makes little noise while masturbating until her orgasm when she grunts or pants. Her facial expression is not smiling or pouting. She often groans depending on the strength of her release.

… a high percentage of all the females who masturbate use techniques which involve some sort of rhythmic stimulation of the clitoris, usually with a finger or several fingers or the whole hand. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)