There have always been some women who are willing to offer men sex on demand. But they want to be paid. By far the most common form of prostitution involves women providing sexual services to men. The second most common sexual service is for gay men (4% of the male population). Women usually pay male escorts for companionship rather than sex. Prostitution is least common among lesbians (2% of the female population).
Women are respected for being wives and mothers. They are not respected for being a mistress or a prostitute. Most women are embarrassed by references to the pleasure quarter, which equates sex to a transaction and highlights the function of women’s bodies as a sexual commodity for male consumption. Most women would never be a prostitute even if they were well paid. It is not possible to buy the platonic, loving and non-sexual intimacy (based on affection) that women hope for when they love someone.
In the red-light district of any city (often near the train station), women are employed to provide men with sexual pleasure or just sexual relief. Women typically go into prostitution as a last resort or out of desperation. Other women claim to enjoy earning a living by providing men with sexual services.
Women are sometimes forced into prostitution. These situations reflect men’s need for sex and women’s reluctance to supply it. Men like to assume that women enjoy sex as much as men. But if they did, women would not need to be forced nor would they need to be paid. Sex acts as a massively positive boost to men’s sense of emotional well-being. In wartime a man can face even death with more equanimity. A loving relationship is supposed to transform sex so that it becomes to women what it always represents for men. The truth is that women accept sex when they are receiving something else in return. Women want love, a relationship, moral support or just money.
The men who are most likely to use prostitutes are under thirty and those who are less educated than average. Some men pay for sex as easily as they would for a massage. It is likely that many more men would pay for sex if there was no taboo. Cheaper prostitutes do not feel obliged to pretend that they are erotically aroused. Some men find a prostitute unsatisfying because they like to believe that a lover appreciates their lovemaking. Some men interpret a woman’s love as emotional acceptance of their sexual needs.
Prostitution is dangerous work and the risk of assault is high. Also some men want more specific sexual services related to a fetish or a perversion. Women in the sex industry provide for these sexual needs, which saves other less worldly women from engaging on the true nature of some men’s carnal needs. Much of the violence men show towards prostitutes reflects their frustration at not obtaining the sex they need from their partners. Men can also resent prostitutes because they make money out of men’s need for sex.
Male prostitutes ejaculate with a client. So they only work part-time. If women had orgasms with a lover, prostitution as we know it would not exist. Sex involves a woman allowing a man to ejaculate into her vagina, her mouth or her anus. No one can have an orgasm to order but an orifice can be offered at any time. A woman can service men almost indefinitely because she experiences no erotic arousal, no orgasm and has no recovery period. Since men naturally provide most of the stimulation, a woman doesn’t need to do very much except perhaps behave appreciatively or fake her orgasm.
In any sexual scenario, men can escape responsibility much more easily than a woman can. Women who sell sex can easily be identified but the men involved can usually ensure that they remain anonymous. A woman is shamed by society for being a prostitute but men are rarely shamed for using a prostitute. Yet women only respond to the demand from men. Most women go into prostitution as a last resort to earn money and sometimes in order to support their children by absent fathers. Some women offer sexual services rather than work in low-paid unskilled jobs. Men make most of the money out of the sex industry by employing low-paid women. Prostitution is a service that allows men to enjoy sexual release with a partner. It is naïve to think that prostitution could ever be abolished. Some men (regardless of their relationship status) will always be prepared to pay women for sex.
In most countries, prostitution is illegal. Holland and Germany are notable exceptions. Some people believe that legalising prostitution equates to condoning the practice of men paying to use women’s bodies for sex. Others support decriminalisation, which offers prostitutes (who register) a safer working environment and medical support but in return for paying taxes. Prostitutes have been relabelled sex workers but prostitution is still linked with organised crime, violence, abduction and slavery. The problem is the male brothel owners and male pimps who exploit and abuse women. We have the impression that women are offering nude images, sex chat or sex on the internet but most of this content is posted by men. Most of the money in the sex industry is made by men. Men know exactly what other men want.
We find that about 69 per cent of the total while male population ultimately has some experience with prostitutes. Many of these males, however, never have more than a single experience or two, and not more than 15 or 20 per cent of them ever have such relations more often than a few times a year, over as much as a five-year period in their lives. This means that there is nearly a third (31%) of the population that never has any sort of sexual contact with prostitutes. (Alfred Kinsey)
Excerpt from Learn About Sexuality (ISBN 978-0956-894748)