Children of both sexes are indifferent to genitals. They may be mildly curious but they consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of the body. At puberty, the increase in male responsiveness causes young men to be fascinated by genitals. For women the connotations from childhood continue into adulthood because women are not responsive as men are.
When aroused, men experience rigidity of the sex organ (the penis). But this increased blood flow, although concentrated in the genitals can also affect the sensitivity of other parts of the body (called tumescence). So when sexually aroused, a man may enjoy being stroked and sucked on almost any part of his body for example, the nipples, the toes and the testicles.
The clitoris responds very differently to the penis. Even for women who experience tumescence, clitoral stimulation does not provide the same easy pleasure that men enjoy. The mouth and vagina have characteristics in common. Both are susceptible to thrush (a yeast infection), being warm and moist. The penis is intended to penetrate the vagina so oral sex is very pleasurable for men. The clitoris is not designed to penetrate any orifice.
A woman cannot understand the male satisfaction in displaying the erect penis. Neither can a woman understand the pleasure to be obtained from ejaculating into another person’s body. Women have no comparable experience. Male territorial instincts mean that spraying semen and urine can be satisfying or just fun. Women are not aroused by physical phenomena such as body fluids. They are usually revolted by such things.
Many women refuse to offer fellatio. They cannot understand what it means to a man because they don’t obtain the same pleasure from being the receiver of oral stimulation. A woman may be more amenable to fellatio if a man agrees to stop before he ejaculates. Some men are very reluctant to do this. Men particularly want to ejaculate into a body orifice. If they cannot ejaculate into a woman’s mouth, then they may not see the point of fellatio.
Men are disappointed when women don’t offer oral sex. Men don’t appreciate that women consider genitals to be smelly and ugly rather than arousing. No woman wants to touch a penis let alone put one in her mouth. If a woman offers fellatio, a man must ensure his penis is scrupulously clean before putting it in her mouth. Fellatio involves a woman putting her nose close to a penis and pubic hair, both of which can be pungent and offensive to women. Only some women offer fellatio either for love or for money.
A woman has a reaction ranging from mild to extreme disgust at the idea of putting a penis in her mouth. Some women can put this instinctive aversion aside to please their lover. This is a matter of personality; not responsiveness. For the most part we do not consume our own secretions. Nor are we generally attracted to the idea of consuming someone else’s. The idea of a man ejaculating semen into her mouth is enough to make most women want to vomit.
If a man loses his erection, a woman can ask him to lie on top. She can feel around his penis and testicles. Once his penis hardens slightly, she can hold it firmly in her hand and use a gentle pumping action to increase his erection. When a man masturbates, he uses a firm stimulation technique. When a woman first masturbates a man, she may be surprised by just how vigorously she can stimulate his penis with her hand. A responsive woman’s masturbation technique is firm but more diffuse, slower and much gentler.
If she is willing, a woman should offer fellatio whenever she feels she can. If a woman doesn’t like the taste of semen she may want to offer her partner fellatio just as a warm-up. A shared bath is a good venue for fellatio (starting with lathering his penis). There are various gels on the market that can be applied to the body (including the genitals) and then licked off.
This greater inclination of the human male towards oral activity is duplicated among other species of mammals. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)