One of the most confusing things about how female sexuality is portrayed in erotic fiction, is the implication that women achieve orgasm by stimulating a variety of different anatomy. Women are more or less completely unaroused with a lover. Without the general all-body tumescence that men may have, so they have much less sensitivity to touch.
Most women feel little from breast stimulation. This is contrary to men’s expectations from pornography. Women are also portrayed as if they obtain amazing pleasure from stimulating their clitoral glans. Even when a responsive woman masturbates, she feels little pleasure from massaging her internal clitoral organ. Her pleasure focuses on the orgasm at the end.
Modern media make women’s bodies seem easily available. Porn shows women as men would like them to be: enthusiastic about sexual activity from the first moment of meeting and sexually proactive. Porn actresses apparently relish all the body fluids that men appreciate including saliva, ejaculate and vaginal secretions and of course they have a script. It’s difficult for men to appreciate that the women portrayed are actresses playing a part.
Women also offer enticements as a tease. “Come on Big Boy! Come and get me!” Vocals range from “Oh my God!” to “Come on baby. Give it to me!” Porn actresses indicate their sexual willingness by talking dirty or engaging in sex chat. A young man assumes a real woman should provide all the same turn-ons he sees in porn. Some women copy these cries of ecstasy, verbal come-ons and proactive engagement as a turn-on for a lover.
A woman does not have a response to consensual intercourse, which provides almost no sensation. In pornography, the portrayal of female arousal is based on the rape scenario. There is an inherent turn-on in the screams, the body straining to escape and the shocked expression of someone being penetrated against their will. The fear communicated by a victim can be a turn-on. This is the taboo of sex. A porn actress expresses surprise with her face as if she can feel the thrusting penis, which she cannot.
In porn a woman is shown apparently having almost continuous orgasms during penile thrusting. So-called multiple orgasms have been used to explain how women might do this. Even men enjoy only arousal, rather than orgasm, while they are thrusting. Anyone who has an orgasm does not want to continue with the same stimulation that caused their orgasm. This is the whole point of orgasm: that it releases sexual tension. Women can engage in sexual activity indefinitely because they are unresponsive with a lover.
Porn actresses moan intermittently throughout the male performance. They build in some smaller climaxes along the way to bring the man on. It’s as if women are aroused and re-aroused on a never-ending basis until the man has had his orgasm. Finally when the man is about to ejaculate, the woman is miraculously also simultaneously satisfied. Ideally she brings her vocal accompaniment to a final crescendo coincident with the man’s orgasm. Porno actresses provide vocal accompaniment as a male turn-on. Men don’t have to make all that noise to convince a lover that they have had an orgasm.
Porn actresses are always smiling or pouting. They look delectable and their make-up is not even smudged. This is not a realistic portrayal of how anyone achieves orgasm. Men do not approach sex expecting to need to provide turn-ons for a lover. Anyone who is aiming for orgasm needs to concentrate on the turn-ons and stimulation at hand. When a man is heading for orgasm, he may grunt and his face is focussed in concentration.
Men never observe a woman truly having an orgasm so they have nothing to compare porn with. Also most women do not know what an orgasm is either. So although men do not respond in this way, the sounds and images of a woman faking orgasm have become a substitute for the real thing.
The problem with visual media is that we don’t know what is happening inside a person’s head. This is confusing for anyone watching because they assume that a woman is responding naturally to stimulation (rather than acting). Even in erotic literature women are portrayed as being aroused by real-world erotic stimuli just as men are but this does not occur in reality.
Women experience much more muted sensations from both arousal and orgasm compared to men so their reactions are likely to be less extreme. Orgasm involves focused concentration and responding instinctively to feelings that blot out the real world. A woman makes little noise while masturbating until her orgasm when she may grunt or pant a little. She doubtless pulls a face and groans depending on the strength of her release.
Men are anxious when their penis does not compare well to those shown in pornography. Porn shows men with unusually large (regularly shaped) genitals and a constant erection throughout almost endless sexual activity. Porn actors are chosen for penis size and stamina so that they look good on film. Presumably they also become desensitised over time to the visual turn-ons and the constant stimulation involved in producing a porn movie.
Nothing in porn is real. You need to watch porn knowing that this is all completely fabricated. (Tracey Cox 2012)