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The misconceptions that arise from pornography

Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. The female body is sexualised and objectified (projected in way that causes male arousal). Such images give misleading impressions about women’s sexual willingness and availability. This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to have healthy relationships and find emotional happiness. Porn shows women as men would like them to be: always sexually proactive and enthusiastic about sex. Porn actresses appear to relish all the body fluids that men enjoy including ejaculate and vaginal secretions. It’s difficult for men to accept that porn actresses are just acting.

One of the most confusing things about how female sexuality is portrayed in erotic fiction, is the implication that women achieve orgasm by stimulating a variety of different anatomy. Without the general all-body tumescence that men may have, women have much less sensitivity to touch.

In porn, women are shown tiddling their vulva while facing the audience because this provides the best view for male observers. Women appear to respond as if the clitoral glans provides amazing pleasure. Even when a responsive woman masturbates, she feels little pleasure from massaging the clitoral organ. Her pleasure focuses on her orgasm. Cunnilingus is assumed to be pleasurable but there is little sensation in reality. A woman feels almost no sensation from consensual intercourse. In porn, the portrayal of female arousal is based on the rape scenario. There is an inherent turn-on in the screams, the body straining to escape and the shocked expression of someone being penetrated against their will. The fear communicated by a victim can be a turn-on. This is the taboo of sex. A porn actress expresses surprise with her face as if she can feel the thrusting penis, which she cannot.

Pornography gives a completely faked portrayal of women’s ability to become aroused with a lover. It also shows women being able to apparently have orgasms almost without end with no recovery time. This is not how responsiveness works for anyone, even men. A few highly responsive young boys are the only exception to this general characteristic of responsiveness.

In porn a woman is shown apparently having almost continuous orgasms during penile thrusting. So-called multiple orgasms have been used to explain how women might do this. Even men enjoy only arousal, rather than orgasm, while they are thrusting. Anyone who has an orgasm does not want to continue with the same stimulation that caused their orgasm. This is the whole point of orgasm: that it releases sexual tension. Women can engage in sexual activity indefinitely because they are unresponsive with a lover.

Porn actresses moan intermittently throughout the male performance. They build in some smaller climaxes along the way to bring the man on. It’s as if women are aroused and re-aroused on a never-ending basis until the man has had his orgasm. Finally when the man is about to ejaculate, the woman is miraculously also simultaneously satisfied. Ideally she brings her vocal accompaniment to a final crescendo coincident with the man’s orgasm. Porno actresses provide vocal accompaniment as a male turn-on. Men don’t have to make all that noise to convince a lover that they have had an orgasm.

Women also offer enticements as a tease. “Come on Big Boy! Come and get me!” Vocals range from “Oh my God!” to “Come on baby. Give it to me!” Porn actresses indicate their sexual willingness by talking dirty or engaging in sex chat. A young man assumes a real woman should provide all the same turn-ons he sees in porn. Some women copy these cries of ecstasy, verbal come-ons and proactive engagement as a turn-on for a lover.

Porn actresses are always smiling or pouting. They look delectable and their make-up is not even smudged. This is not a realistic portrayal of how anyone achieves orgasm. Men do not approach sex expecting to need to provide turn-ons for a lover. Anyone who is aiming for orgasm needs to concentrate on the turn-ons and stimulation at hand. When a man is heading for orgasm, he may grunt and his face is focussed in concentration.

Men never observe a woman truly having an orgasm so they have nothing to compare porn with. Also most women do not know what an orgasm is either. So although men do not respond in this way, the sounds and images of a woman faking orgasm have become a substitute for the real thing.

The problem with visual media is that we don’t know what is happening inside a person’s head. This is confusing for anyone watching because they assume that a woman is responding naturally to stimulation (rather than acting). Even in erotic literature women are portrayed as being aroused by real-world erotic stimuli just as men are but this does not occur in reality.

Men are anxious when their penis does not compare well to those shown in pornography. Porn shows men with unusually large (regularly shaped) genitals and a constant erection throughout almost endless sexual activity. Porn actors are chosen for penis size and stamina so that they look good on film. Presumably they also become desensitised over time to the visual turn-ons and the constant stimulation involved in producing a porn movie.

Nothing in porn is real. You need to watch porn knowing that this is all completely fabricated. (Tracey Cox 2012)