Women represent a particular educational challenge because they are not nearly as curious as most men are about sexual phenomena. Women often fail to realise that they are ignorant of the specifics of sexual response. Most women avoid any sexual content whether fictional or otherwise. Women rarely participate in any kind of informed sexual discussion. They assume that their romantic and emotional interpretations of sex can substitute for knowledge of the facts about how arousal and orgasm are achieved in reality.
Women worldwide make money out of promoting sex either through the sex industry or sex therapy. There is nothing wrong with women promoting sex as a wonderful experience. What is wrong is when they use the word orgasm to describe those experiences when it is very clear that they are referring to emotional and sensual sensations at best. Anyone who truly has an orgasm can account for the anatomy and erotic turn-ons involved.
No research was necessary to establish the male sex organ. Men (and their lovers) know what anatomy is involved in male orgasm. But women (and their lovers) have not been able to identify the anatomy involved in female orgasm. Researchers have proposed a variety of theories but none of them has been unanimously confirmed by women in the general population.
Men clearly want more than orgasm from sex, otherwise they would masturbate and be done. Men are not motivated by orgasm itself (which ends their enjoyment of engaging in sexual activity) but by the erotic rewards of engaging in intercourse. Men obtain an optimal sexual release from penetrating and ejaculating into another person’s body. Orgasm does not encapsulate all of the erotic, sensual and emotional pleasures men enjoy from sex. Yet orgasm is used to encapsulate all of women’s sexual pleasure.
Young women assume sex must be amazingly pleasurable because their families and society try to protect them from it. They may hear about sexual pleasure through erotic fiction. They overlook the possibility that fiction is not always a true reflection of reality. Nor do they perhaps appreciate the significance of the fact that pornography and prostitution are both financed by male interest. This ignorance is further compounded because no one is willing to state the obvious conclusion that sex is primarily a male pleasure.
Just as young people continue to smoke (despite knowing it can kill), women are tempted to try sex (with all its risks) because of the implication that adult maturity is involved. They assume there must be some pleasure involved. Otherwise, why would adults do it? In truth adults, just like teenagers, do many stupid things. They do them to be accepted by their social group. They take unwise actions because they think they will be admired by others. Some do them because they think they are supposed to do these things.
No man is attracted to any woman. Men are most interested in young and attractive women for reproductive reasons. There has to be a mechanism that causes this to happen. The mental process of sexualising women means heterosexual men are aroused by women (rather than men or children). Men believe that the women they are attracted to differ from other women such as their female relatives. But men can be embarrassed by pornographic images (in the presence of women) knowing on some level that most women are offended by this crude and unrealistic portrayal of their sexuality.
Young men are driven to obtain their sexual release through intercourse. Women never experience this simple thrusting action culminating in ejaculation. This means that women interpret men’s interest in them (at least initially) as being the same platonic and emotional interest that women themselves feel for a lover. Many young men see sex as a sport where women are trophies rather than people with emotional needs of their own. Fathers know this well and try to protect their daughters from irresponsible men who have little concern for the sexual risks women take on their behalf.
Young women are naturally impressed by men’s greater confidence. They are full of romantic illusions and curiosity. They have the inexperience and the optimism of youth. It’s easy for a woman to give a man the pleasure he wants. Young women can’t understand why older women suggest modesty and restraint. They enjoy the novelty of their popularity with men. Young women ignore older women’s advice, assuming that their popularity with men is resented. Young women are ultimately looking for a supportive mate. But meanwhile, they might as well enjoy the novelty of being desired.
Young women are easily tempted to provide the sex that men want out of ego and because they are flattered by the attention they get from men. This is very natural. More experienced women appreciate that men promote their own sexual interests. Over time most women learn that they want other things from a relationship in exchange for offering regular intercourse. As they age, by acquiring status or wealth and through education, women gain the confidence to accept that they do not obtain the same pleasure from intercourse as men do. Mature women depend less on men for support. They no longer feel under less pressure to provide the sex men need.
Sexuality is shaped by culture and history. For example, a hundred years ago a woman who loved sex could be regarded as being mentally disturbed, whereas today if you don’t love sex you could end up being diagnosed as dysfunctional. (Bella Ellwood-Clayton 2013)