Sexuality is about appreciating what causes us to become aroused and learning how we can achieve orgasm both alone and with a lover. Orgasm is foremost a response of the nervous system. For adults (even premature ejaculators), orgasm is always consciously engineered in a situation where the mind responds erotically and by stimulating the phallus. Spontaneous orgasm (with no stimulation or mental focus on eroticism) occurs rarely. A few boys orgasm (as a one-off) in response to sudden shocks or other triggers. In rare cases (reported in the news) a woman is taken to hospital to have continuous pelvic spasms (a nervous disorder that is reported rather sensationally as orgasm) stopped. These are neither erotic nor pleasurable.
More highly sexed men experience regular morning erections during their most active years as a subconscious and automatic response. This results in a desire to engage in intercourse (because an erection makes intercourse possible) but before they can orgasm, men need penile stimulation. Physical stimulation is only effective because men are already mentally aroused. Mental arousal occurs as the brain responds to explicit aspects of eroticism.
Orgasm involves the brain, the central nervous system, the genitals and the whole body. Achieving orgasm relies on continuous communication between the brain and the erectile sex organ (penis or clitoris) via the nervous system. Initially the penis is flaccid and a woman is unaware of any sensitivity in her pelvic region. As the mind responds to eroticism, messages from the brain via the nervous system build erotic tension in the mind as blood flows to the sex organ (penis or clitoris). If a person’s focus on erotic stimuli is interrupted for any reason, then physical arousal is immediately impacted.
A person learns from experience that if they massage their sex organ when aroused, it is usually possible to achieve orgasm. A person focuses their mind on some aspect of eroticism that they know has caused them to become aroused in the past. Once a person is conscious of their arousal, they are instinctively motivated to apply the correct stimulation. Arousal is biological (automatic) for a younger man. Women have to generate sufficient arousal for orgasm by making conscious effort to focus on explicitly erotic scenarios.
As our mind responds to eroticism, blood flows into the corpora cavernosa within the sex organ. The corpora cavernosa are within the shaft of the penis and inside the body of the internal clitoral organ. We gradually become conscious of this physical arousal (tumescence). But the evidence and sensations of physical arousal are much stronger for men than for women.
For a fifth of men (22%) orgasm is primarily a genital reaction while nearly half of men (45%) have some build-up (body tension). The remaining four variations are similar to the first two but can include additional trembling, fainting, frenzied movements, convulsions, collapse, laughter and talking. Female arousal is muted compared with male arousal that leads quickly and easily to orgasm. Female orgasm is also less dramatic and much less intense.
Tension builds as we become increasingly aroused. Heightened mental arousal causes us to lose full consciousness of our surroundings as we concentrate on the thoughts that cause us to orgasm. We use a squeeze technique to massage the corpora cavernosa within the phallus. Manual stimulation of the sex organ from the front is combined with a tensing of the buttock muscles to pressure the internal organ from behind. This massaging motion is continued rhythmically until orgasm. Muscular tension in the pelvic region increases, culminating in a peak that is abruptly dissipated.
Orgasm involves genital secretions from cervical and male glands, tumescence (increased blood flow in the whole body and the sex organ), rhythmic pelvic thrusts, the ejaculation of semen (men only), contractions of pelvic muscles and an abrupt release of nervous energy (sexual emotions) in the brain. After orgasm there is the sensation of blood (accumulated in the genitals) flowing away. Typically, an orgasm is followed by a period of resolution before another one is possible. The sex organ (penis or clitoris) cannot easily return to an aroused state. Some highly responsive young boys can attempt a number of orgasms sequentially with little rest in between. For adults, most of the time, there is a period of at least a few hours before the individual is receptive to being aroused again. In responsive women, this period may extend for weeks. Female sexual tension builds subconsciously.
Some women assert that they have a right to have orgasms but we have no conscious control over orgasm. Responsiveness is a physiological response that arises subconsciously as a result of how our brain responds to eroticism. Arousal is a psychological response that is triggered by the mind. Orgasm is a response to erotic stimuli of a psychological nature. These stimuli may be visual or imaginary but they are explicit images or erotic concepts related to the genitals and most typically penetrative sex. Orgasm can be achieved reliably because we learn over time which erotic stimuli cause us to orgasm.
Orgasm occurs naturally for a responsive person. We have to focus on erotic concepts until first our mind responds and then stimulate our phallus until our body responds. A responsive woman is only aware of clitoral tumescence once she has obtained 100% concentration on an erotic fantasy. She cannot force her mind and body to respond. It will happen only if sufficient sexual tension (at a much lower levels than for a man) has accumulated over time.
Considerable psychiatric therapy can be wasted on persons (especially females) who are misjudged to be cases of repression when, in actuality, at least some of them never were equipped to respond erotically. (Alfred Kinsey)
Excerpt from Learn About Sexuality (ISBN 978-0956-894748)