Home Biological aspects of sexuality Human reproduction Intercourse is the heterosexual lovemaking act

Intercourse is the heterosexual lovemaking act

Both male and female sexuality contribute towards reproduction. Throughout their lives, men focus on the eroticism that causes their arousal while women focus their lives on caring for a family: the consequence of sex. Men have a genital focus while women focus on upper body lovemaking. Women enjoy the platonic emotions of nurturing love, companionship and affection. They also employ behaviours to attract and retain a man’s interest.

When a man and a woman are attracted to each other, intercourse feels very natural. This is no coincidence. The male and female body fit together to allow a sexual coupling. The mating position used by other mammals is rear entry (doggy position). Women tend to feel humiliated by this subjugated position. Most societies use the missionary position (man facing the woman). It is more acceptable to women, being less explicit. A woman enjoys upper body lovemaking but her lack of response is evident so it encourages faking.

Men are always hassling women for sex so they know that women are less enthusiastic. But any realistic information is suppressed for fear of putting women off sex. Women are told that they should enjoy sex. Due to a lack of confidence in sexual matters, when women don’t respond as men want them to, they tend to accept that there must be something wrong with them.
Heterosexual men assume that what pleases them must please a woman equally as well and heterosexual women accept whatever stimulation a man offers. This causes endless confusion, when coupled with the belief that women must orgasm through such activity. It would be convenient for all, if men and women had a mutual enthusiasm for intercourse. But (beyond the initial curiosity) women have little interest in the basic act of impregnation.

A woman cannot be impregnated every time she engages in intercourse. Each month a woman has a few days in which she can become pregnant. Once she is pregnant, a woman cannot be impregnated again until after she has given birth. The maximum frequency with which a woman can reproduce is once every nine months. There is no biological reason why a woman should want intercourse more than a few times in her lifetime.

Some couples experiment early on with different positions. But they usually resume missionary style intercourse, which involves least effort for a woman. Women’s lack of erotic arousal, the upper-body contact (kissing and caressing) as well as the diffuse stimulation of intercourse mean that women experience consensual intercourse as a lovemaking act. Intercourse demonstrates a man’s sex drive and admiration for a woman’s body (his ability to be aroused by her) and his virility (his ability to impregnate her).

The disadvantage of the missionary position is that a man cannot see the genital action. Men enjoy trying more explicit positions, which allow them to observe penetration. Men’s sex drive causes them to see intercourse as an erotic act. Men like positions that allow them freedom of movement and the ability to control their own stimulation through thrusting (not woman on top). Just as men are aroused by observing their own erect penis during masturbation, they also enjoy seeing their penis enter a lover’s body. Women are not aroused by such sights, which they consider to be obscene.

Men’s proactive role is a natural consequence of their erotic arousal. Men can enjoy the erotic turn-ons of interacting with a lover as well as obtaining sexual release through penetration. Given her lack of erotic arousal with a lover, a woman has no incentive to be proactive in sexual activity of any kind unless she enjoys pleasuring a lover. Most women are unwilling to engage in manual or oral contacts. Women assume that it is men’s role to drive sex.

Modern political pressure on women to seem to be men’s sexual equals has led to more couples having sex in daylight or with the lights on. This favours men’s enjoyment of intercourse as an erotic act. A disadvantage for women is that their lack of mental engagement is more visible to a lover. Men’s increased awareness of the possibility of female orgasm has made faking commonplace as a means of facilitating male orgasm. The need for a woman to be more involved in lovemaking has contributed to emotional bonding.

In a primitive society, an attractive woman has little choice about offering sex to men. Her choice is to have many lovers (whoever cometh) or to choose one man to fight the others off. It is in a woman’s interests to choose one man who she likes and trusts. She has no need for sexual release but she does want a lover’s protection. Her sexual loyalty makes it more likely that he will agree to support any children resulting from the sexual activity.

The idea that women experience orgasm in circumstances separate to what men want is alien to many people because of the way they experience sex. The vast majority of heterosexual activity focuses on intercourse because of men’s sex drive. Women exist very happily without sex but if they want a relationship with a man, they know that sex is expected. A woman hopes that by offering a man the short-term pleasure of sexual release, she will obtain his love, respect and support for her family goals. A woman demonstrates her love by allowing a man to obtain his sexual release from her body. A man loves a woman who provides for his sexual needs. A man’s gratitude motivates him to protect and support a family. Women accept this trade instinctively. Women offer sex over the longer-term because they identify a man as a worthy mate as well as an affectionate and supportive companion.

Women’s top 5 turn-ons. 1. Romance 2. Commitment 3. Communications 4. Intimacy 5. Non-sexual touching (Allan & Barbara Pease 1999)