Sunday, September 15, 2019
Home Biological aspects of sexuality Human reproduction Intercourse is the heterosexual lovemaking act

Intercourse is the heterosexual lovemaking act

Both male and female sexuality contribute towards reproduction. Men have a genital focus while women focus on upper body lovemaking. Throughout their lives, men focus on the eroticism that causes their arousal while women focus their lives on caring for a family: the consequence of sex. Women enjoy the platonic emotions of nurturing love, companionship and affection. They also employ behaviours to attract and retain a man’s interest.

Heterosexual men assume that what pleases them must please a woman equally as well. Heterosexual women accept whatever stimulation a man offers. This causes endless confusion, when coupled with the belief that women must orgasm through such activity. It would be convenient for all, if men and women had a mutual enthusiasm for intercourse. But (beyond the initial curiosity) women have little interest in the basic act of impregnation.

A woman cannot be impregnated every time she engages in intercourse. Each month a woman has a few days in which she can be impregnated. Once she is pregnant, a woman cannot be impregnated again until after she has given birth. The maximum frequency with which a woman can reproduce is once every nine months. There is no biological reason why a woman should want intercourse more than a few times in her lifetime.

When a man and a woman are attracted to each other, intercourse feels very natural. This is no coincidence. The male and female body fit together to provide a sexual coupling. The mating position used by other mammals is rear entry, where the man penetrates the woman’s vagina from behind (doggy position). Women tend to feel humiliated by this subjugated position. Western society favours the missionary position (man facing the woman) because it is more acceptable to women, being less sexually explicit.

Many couples experiment early on with different positions. But they usually resume missionary style intercourse, which involves least effort for a woman. Women’s lack of erotic arousal, the upper-body contact (kissing and caressing) as well as the diffuse stimulation of intercourse mean that women experience consensual intercourse as a lovemaking act. Intercourse demonstrates a man’s sex drive and admiration for a woman’s body (his ability to be aroused by her) and his virility (his ability to impregnate her).

Men’s sex drive focuses them on intercourse as an erotic act. The missionary position’s disadvantage is that it does not allow a man to see the genital action. Men enjoy trying more explicit positions, which allow them to observe penetration. Just as men are aroused by observing their own erect penis during masturbation, they also enjoy watching their penis enter a lover’s body. Women are not aroused by such sights, which they consider crude. Men tend to prefer any position that allows them freedom of movement and the ability to control their own stimulation through thrusting.

Men’s proactive role is a natural consequence of their arousal. Men want to enjoy the erotic turn-ons of interacting with a lover as well as obtaining sexual release through penetration. Given her lack of arousal with a lover, a woman has no incentive to be proactive in sexual activity of any kind unless she enjoys pleasuring a lover. Most women are unwilling to engage in manual or oral contacts. Women accept that it is men’s role to drive sex.

Modern pressure on women to be men’s sexual equals has led to more couples having sex in daylight or with the lights on. This favours men’s enjoyment of intercourse as an erotic act. A disadvantage for women is that their lack of mental engagement is more visible to a lover. Men’s increased awareness of a woman’s response has made faking commonplace as a means of facilitating male orgasm. The need for a woman to appear more involved in lovemaking has contributed to the emotional bonding process.

In a primitive society, an attractive woman has little choice about offering sex to men. Her choice is to have many lovers (whoever cometh) or to choose one man to fight the others off. It is in a woman’s interests to choose one man who she likes and trusts. She has no need for sexual release but she does want a lover’s protection. Her sexual loyalty makes it more likely that he will agree to support any children resulting from the sexual activity.

Intercourse has always been implicit within marriage. A man loves a woman who provides for his sexual needs. A woman demonstrates her love by providing her partner with the sexual release he needs. A man’s gratitude motivates him protect and support both his mate and their children. A woman hopes that by offering a man the short-term pleasure of sexual release, she will obtain his love, respect and support for her family goals.

Many women exist very happily without sex. But if a woman wants a relationship with a man, she knows that sex will be expected. Some animals (notably birds) mate for life. But there is no evidence to indicate that men are naturally monogamous. In fact, all the evidence points the other way. No man is devoted to a woman for long if she does not offer the sex he needs. Most women accept this trade implicitly. Most women offer sex because they identify a man as a worthy mate and a supportive companion.

Women’s top 5 turn-ons. 1. Romance 2. Commitment 3. Communications 4. Intimacy 5. Non-sexual touching (Allan & Barbara Pease 1999)