Friday, July 19, 2019
Home Biological aspects of sexuality Human reproduction Intercourse needs to continue until ejaculation

Intercourse needs to continue until ejaculation

It is very tempting to assume that sex exists in order to provide everyone with sexual pleasure. Intercourse is a mating act that is aimed at maximising the chances of reproduction. Sexual pleasure is merely a by-product. Only men need to be motivated to engage in intercourse. If a woman wants a relationship and perhaps a family, she needs keep a man interested in her.

Male orgasm triggers the ejaculation of semen. Semen is produced by the testes and passes via the urethra (the tube that runs down the centre of the penis) to the outside. Women cannot ejaculate because their equivalent organ (the clitoris) does not have such a tube. Nor do they have male glands or testes. Women may produce some lubrication from the vagina but the quantity of fluid produced is nothing like the quantity of male ejaculate.

Ejaculating into a partner’s body is the natural conclusion to the male arousal cycle. A man needs intercourse to dissipate sensations of sexual frustration and to feel sexually satisfied. So heterosexual activity will always focus on men’s arousal cycle, from erection to ejaculation. Men are highly sensitive about their ability to achieve and maintain an erection as well as engage in sexual activity without ejaculating too soon. A man is motivated to impregnate a woman through an on-going process of demonstrating his virility (as a potent male who may be in demand from other women).

Men’s challenge is to enjoy the pleasure of thrusting for as long as they can before they feel compelled to ejaculate. Men know that orgasm ends their ability to stimulate a partner through intercourse. Because women provide an orifice rather than a phallus, (even if he assumes it occurs) a man knows that female orgasm does not end of sexual activity. Conveniently a man can continue intercourse until ejaculation, which is the reproductive event.

Once a man has started on intercourse, he is unlikely to stop until he has ejaculated. Intercourse is trivial for women in the sense that they are indifferent to it. Women can cooperate easily enough with men’s desire for intercourse by leaving the initiative to the man. A woman accepts the need for her to remain in position until the man has obtained his sexual release. Intercourse may be effortless for a woman but emotionally and erotically she feels little. Women need emotional factors (which rely on having a loving and appreciative lover) to enjoy the more romantic aspects of sex.

Some women use vocal turn-ons or assist with penile stimulation so as to minimise the time for intercourse. Women time the sound accompaniment of their faked orgasm to coincide with male orgasm. If a woman anticipates a man’s build-up, she can assist by providing the turn-on he needs to achieve orgasm. Eventually, men do seem to want a conclusion to their thrusting.

For women, quick intercourse is generally a plus. But they may miss lovemaking including romantic kissing and non-genital touching. A woman feels little from consensual intercourse. Nor does the activity hold any particular interest for her. A relaxing massage may compensate for a lack of arousal. Men think this is boring but this is why women don’t want sex.

For a woman, sex involves investing in lover’s pleasure with no payback. She is also expected to respond in a way that reassures a male lover that he is pleasing her. This is the authority of male sex drive, which is reinforced by women’s embarrassment over sex. Even mature and sexually experienced women never challenge the male view. Every generation of young women assumes that they should respond as men tell them they naturally should.

To understand a woman’s perspective, a man should imagine what it would be like if his sex life was based on offering a partner sexual release. With no sense of erotic arousal, a woman is obliged to offer an orifice for her partner to ejaculate into. She has to try not to look too bored because her partner is offended by a lack of enthusiasm. It’s a challenge after a few decades.

Over time a woman becomes increasingly disinterested in repeated intercourse but she provides it to keep the peace. She doesn’t feel loved, merely used. She stops including affectionate foreplay because the act becomes one of simply satisfying a man’s carnal needs. Intercourse becomes functional and lacking in any emotional content that a woman can appreciate. A woman feels disrespected unless a man shows some appreciation for the pleasure she is allowing him to take from her body.

If we are to understand men and women’s sexuality, we must never forget that Nature wants us to engage foremost in intercourse. Male sex drive and women’s lack of responsiveness with a lover both work towards this goal. Women can engage in sexual activity indefinitely because they are not aroused with a lover and so not focused on achieving their own orgasm. This makes women much more flexible and generous lovers than men. Some women positively enjoy acting out the role of the prostitute. If they are feeling motivated to engage in giving pleasure, they enjoy having a proactive role. The satisfaction comes from providing a good service!

Orgasms are elusive. Most women don’t have one every time (or maybe even most times) they hit the sheets. Plenty of surveys—and likely your own bedroom experience—verify that. (Anna Davies 2013)