Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Home Intellectual aspects of sexuality How orgasm is achieved Orgasm is an instinctive response to erotic stimuli

Orgasm is an instinctive response to erotic stimuli

We do not orgasm because we are given information. The motivation to enjoy orgasm arises in our own mind. Erotic stimuli (that cause physical arousal) motivate a responsive person (who senses the blood flowing to their genitals) to massage their sex organ. This is an instinctive response.

Orgasm is an instinctive response. That means that even when we have no prior knowledge or experience of orgasm, we are still able to discover it. It has to be that way because otherwise the human race (and other animals) would not exist. We haven’t always had books or even word of mouth to tell us about intercourse and masturbation. But there is no such thing as an instinct to buy a vibrator and use it to stimulate yourself. This is a conscious behaviour motivated by the advertising slogans of the sex toy companies.

Imagine a boy and a girl who grow up on a dessert island without any knowledge of the outside world. At adolescence, the boy will have erections and may be motivated to masturbate. The girl is not similarly motivated, unless she is responsive and enjoys her fantasies alone. If they engage in close physical contact the boy will become aroused (have an erection). Without any instruction, he will be instinctively motivated to engage in thrusting activity. He would discover the woman’s vagina without knowing of its existence. A woman does not have the same instinct. She is only motivated by the initial kissing and touching to demonstrate her affection.

We can experience a peak of sensation for various reasons. For example, someone could tickle our feet, our knees or under our armpit. We may reach a point where we have had enough and we don’t want further stimulation. Such a sensation is not orgasm. Firstly, the sex organ is not involved but neither is there any mental engagement on eroticism. An onlooker often assumes that female orgasm occurs when stimulation ceases.

Arousal is a psychological response that is triggered by the mind. Orgasm is a response to erotic stimuli of a psychological nature. These stimuli may be visual or imaginary but they are explicit images or erotic concepts related to the genitals and most typically penetrative sex. Orgasm can be achieved reliably because we discover the erotic stimuli that cause us to orgasm.

Some women believe they orgasm either alone or with a lover but without using any form of fantasy. They believe it is possible to orgasm simply by using physical stimulation alone. There is a good reason why women might think this way. When they observe a man who is intent on orgasm, all they see is the physical stimulation involved. They have no idea what is going on inside his head. Men need an erotic mental stimulus to achieve orgasm.

Female orgasm is often defined in emotional terms. Yet if women are experiencing the same sexual response as men (orgasm) we would expect these female orgasms to have characteristics in common with the male experience. Male orgasm involves the sex organ and turn-ons. Orgasm involves genital secretions from cervical and male glands, tumescence (increased blood flow in the whole body and the sex organ), rhythmic pelvic thrusts, muscular contractions and an abrupt release of nervous energy.

If men want women to have a positive attitude towards eroticism or to be willing to engage in more adventurous sex play, then so-called female orgasms that arise without women engaging on erotic concepts of any kind are not going to help very much. It is the mind’s positive response to sexual scenarios that causes someone to empathise with eroticism. Our ability to respond to eroticism is what motivates us to engage in sexual activity. The pleasure of orgasm is the mental arousal that causes the pelvic contractions.

Sexual arousal occurs as the mind responds to erotic images or concepts. The mind then acts on the body producing observable evidence of arousal in the form of tumescence (increased blood flow to the genitals). A man is naturally motivated to explore a woman’s body because he is aroused by it. This means that even in the absence of all knowledge of intercourse he would eventually discover it. A woman has no motivation to explore a lover’s body because she is not aroused by real-world erotic stimuli.

Reproduction relies on women providing a man with an opportunity for intercourse rather than being focused on achieving their own orgasm. So sexual activity with a lover has a social rather than an erotic context for women. It is only when a woman is alone that the much weaker sensations of female arousal may cause a responsive woman to explore her own body’s responsiveness. Compared with men’s acute arousal, women feel much more diffuse feelings of mild excitement. Nevertheless these sensations, whether they are strong or weak, draw our attention to the sex organ. Female orgasm relies on the use of considerable concentration on fantasy.

Aspects of control and domination, as well as the way a man might negotiate his own pleasure, are all core to arousal. We use BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, Sadism & Masochism) for arousal because it involves revelling in the control of others (of doing something to someone else). BDSM may be useful for arousal but it does not cause orgasm. Much more explicit genital concepts are required for orgasm.

Most males … are definitely aroused upon seeing things that are associated with sex, and most females are not so aroused. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)