Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear indication of the anatomy he wants to stimulate. By contrast women, including lesbians, enjoy more sensual whole-body and emotional pleasures with a lover because of their lack of arousal. This contributes to the confusion over the anatomy involved in achieving female orgasm. Men assume women are aroused and that they orgasm with a lover as men do.
On the basis of our porno education, we tend to assume that a woman can orgasm from different kinds of stimulation applied to a variety of sexual anatomy. Yet men clearly always need penile stimulation. Male masturbation and fellatio both mimic intercourse and involve a similar massaging stimulation of the shaft of the penis. A man can obtain the stimulation of intercourse, regardless of a partner’s willingness. But a woman cannot force anyone, especially a man, to provide any form of stimulation. She can ask a man to penetrate her vagina but she cannot make it happen according to her own need. This is significant because we cannot evolve a response to stimulation that we cannot reliably obtain. A woman can buy a vibrator in modern times but this form of stimulation never existed before. All forms of female stimulation by a partner depend on a lover’s willingness to provide it.
There is no precedent or justification for female orgasm. Other female animals do not appear to orgasm at any time and female orgasm has no role in reproduction. The only precedent relates to male orgasm, which is required for reproduction because it triggers ejaculation of sperm. Male animals use an insertion method to fertilise the egg within the female’s body. Female orgasm can only be explained in terms relative to male orgasm. Female masturbation mimics male thrusting. A woman emulates the male role in intercourse, by thrusting with her pelvis and clenching her buttocks. A responsive woman lies on her front and uses the fingers of both hands to push gently over the glans and towards (either side) of the vaginal entrance.
An adult experiences orgasm (once aroused) by stimulating the erectile sex organ (the phallus). The penis and the clitoris are anatomically equivalent. The sex organs (penis and clitoris) have two corpora cavernosa that fill with blood when the mind is engaged with thoughts of an explicitly erotic nature. The kind of stimulation, that might lead to orgasm, is highly specific and involves massaging the erectile organ or more specifically the blood-flow within the phallus. The phallus must be stimulated from arousal through to climax, by massaging the erectile organ in a firm and continuous rhythm.
A man masturbates by holding his erect penis between his fingers and pulling the skin up and down the shaft. A woman’s masturbation technique does not feel so explicitly sexual or genitally focused. A responsive woman pushes down over her vulva while thinking about an erotic scenario. It is a very personal and private experience. When a woman is stimulating herself, her actions are dictated by subconscious instinct rather than conscious thought.
A responsive woman experiences very slight physical arousal when focused on erotic fantasy. She is motivated to massage her vulva because of the tingling sensation from the increased blood flow (tumescence). A woman has little awareness of the specific anatomy she is stimulating. Her focus is on what is happening in her mind. She could not see easily even if she wanted to look. Kinsey reported the external anatomy that women stimulate including the clitoral glans and labia. More accurately a woman stimulates the internal clitoral organ, which contains the corpora cavernosa, by pushing down with her fingers. She pushes the skin down over the top of the glans. As arousal builds, she presses down into the tissue either side of her labia.
Anyone who can orgasm should be able to describe not only the anatomy but also the kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm. Most women are unaware of the location and function of the clitoris. Neither cunnilingus nor a vibrator massage the internal clitoral organ in the correct way. If female orgasm was achieved by stimulating visible and clearly identifiable anatomy such as the clitoral glans, throughout history women would have been aware of the clitoris. If they had been able to use this technique with a lover, then their partners (heterosexual men) would also know about it. Heterosexuals would have discovered female orgasm by themselves. Society would not have needed scientists to tell them about the clitoris or about female orgasm.
The hands are the most natural masturbation tool and everything else is a gimmick. The massaging motion over the glans is similar for both sexes. The main difference is that a woman doesn’t have a shaft to stimulate. Her technique cannot therefore mimic intercourse as closely as a man’s can. A woman uses a humping motion to thrust her vulva against her fingers. Some women do rub their vulva against a soft object such as a stuffed toy or a pillow. This type of stimulation is not sufficiently explicit to cause orgasm.
Immediately before reaching orgasm, we may cease stimulation. Just like the shove penny game at the fair, we are nearly there and we know that just a little effort can now cause orgasm. Like waiting for a wave to reach us and then riding the wave onto the beach, we wait for our climax to arrive. Once the surge of orgasm starts, we apply firm pressure to have the satisfaction of thrusting as we massage our sex organ and enjoy the pelvic contractions.
The effectiveness of such a technique depends chiefly upon … pelvic movements and rhythmic contractions of the large muscles (the gluteal muscles) in the buttocks, and of the muscles (chiefly adductors) which are located near the front and inner surfaces of the thigh. (Alfred Kinsey)
Excerpt from Learn About Sexuality (ISBN 978-0956-894748)