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When we are single, we can focus on our own selfish needs. But when we have a relationship with another person, we need to...
Diversity: our sex, our personality and our gender
Sexuality includes our sex, our personality and our gender. The reason we have two sexes is for diversity. Some people like being different. They...
Intercourse involves reproductive risk for women
Men tend to focus on sexual pleasure so we often equate sexuality to responsiveness. Orgasm is certainly one erotic pleasure that motivates a person...
Over time women often become focused on family
Female mammals are involved in grooming, feeding and affectionate play with their young. Female mammals are always smaller and more nervous than males. This...
The female erectile sex organ (or phallus)
In the absence of testosterone, the genital tubercle forms the female phallus, called the clitoris. The clitoris consists of the glans and the internal...
Lesbianism focuses on longer-term relationships
Only 2% of women are exclusively gay (half as common as male homosexuality). The average age to come out is 17 years old for...
Sex without consent is rape regardless of intent
It’s important to appreciate that the situation where a man rapes random strangers is rare. These men (called rapists) specifically enjoy the violence of...
Male propaganda: saying women should enjoy sex
Ask a woman in any developing country about sex and she will tell you it is for male pleasure and making babies. Try asking...
Sexual scenarios tend to be biased in men’s favour
No one ever admits that sex is biased in men’s favour. Accounts of female orgasm are heavily promoted and accounts of harassment, exploitation and...
The romantic pleasure a woman enjoys from sex
In modern times we talk of sexual partners but in the past, heterosexuals more often talked of lovers. Women do not think of sex...
Women drive the need for dating and romance
Without sex, there may be friendship between adults but there is little physical intimacy. Heterosexual women are dependent on men to provide this sense...
Women’s orgasm claims do not result in more sex
Let’s imagine, for a moment, that men and women experience the same level of responsiveness (orgasm frequency). Even so, responsiveness varies between individuals. There...
The male psychology of seeing a lover as a sex object
Unlike emotional attachments, arousal is not caused by a specific person or by a relationship. Arousal relies on being able to see a person,...
The mental focus required to achieve orgasm
Anyone who masturbates needs to use fantasy for arousal. Turn-ons are erotic concepts or images that motivate us to engage in sexual activity. We...
The kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear...
We (not a sex toy or lover) cause our own orgasm
Even when a sex organ is capable of penetration (as the penis is), it cannot cause a lover’s orgasm. For a person to orgasm,...
Some people enjoy abstract eroticism and fantasy
Sexuality is about our motivation to explore our fantasies both during masturbation alone and during sex play with a lover. Our ability to reach...
Why couples don’t discuss female arousal
Much of the sexual activity between heterosexuals is carried on without communication. Once intimacy has been established, by kissing for example, a man assumes...
The role of relationship therapists and counsellors
Adults are embarrassed about sex because of their emotional insecurities. Our emotional needs include a need to impress, a need to belong and a...
Men and women’s perspectives on relationships
Sexuality is about a sexual relationship, which includes social, emotional and sexual aspects. Long-term committed relationships are vital to supporting families over the decades...
A man wants a partner to make love to his penis
When aroused, men experience rigidity of the sex organ (the penis). But this increased blood flow, although concentrated in the genitals can also affect...
Sexual pleasure need not always focus on orgasm
Alfred Kinsey concluded that any research that involved making subjective judgements of the emotional rewards of sex activity would make it impossible to compare...
Women attract men by sexualising themselves
We wear clothes for protection, for warmth, for decency and also for display. The need to differentiate ourselves depends on our personality. Many women...