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We cannot start to understand sexuality unless we differentiate between responsiveness and conscious behaviours. For the most part, our minds and bodies function in...
Why women feel inadequate about their bodies
Given women’s dislike of genitals, many of the terms for the female genitals come from men and are considered obscene by women. Rather than...
How the male and female sexual roles differ
Primitive life, such as bacteria, reproduce asexually. But most animals and plants reproduce sexually. Offspring inherit genes from both parents. Even in plants, the...
Over time women often become focused on family
Female mammals are involved in grooming, feeding and affectionate play with their young. Female mammals are always smaller and more nervous than males. This...
The male erectile sex organ (or phallus)
A man’s sex organ (penis) is separate from his internal reproductive anatomy (testes and glands) but also integral. The penis has three main functions.
Firstly...
Men cannot accept that women are unresponsive
Men’s experience of women is based on their observation of their lovers. Couples, even in long term relationships, do not discuss the details of...
Male propaganda: saying women should enjoy sex
Ask a woman in any developing country about sex and she will tell you it is for male pleasure and making babies. Try asking...
Domestic violence and emotional abuse in the home
Domestic violence (violence in the home), with women and children as primary victims, is a major worldwide epidemic. The majority, an estimated 90 percent...
Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo
Penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal intercourse) has a special role in our concept of eroticism. Penetration by a phallus is key to our...
Ego means men overlook what women contribute
Prostitutes must have more sexual experience than even the most promiscuous of men. But a prostitute is never called a great lover. Men attribute...
Sex is an emotional bonding mechanism for men
For men, sex is like a magic pill that makes the world seem more positive. Some men look to women as a distraction from...
Intercourse is totally defined by male responses
Men have much more confidence over sexual matters than women because sex revolves around male responses. A man’s arousal motivates him to initiate sexual...
Orgasm is a one-off release of sexual tension
Sexuality is about appreciating what causes us to become aroused and learning how we can achieve orgasm both alone and with a lover. Orgasm...
The mental focus required to achieve orgasm
Anyone who masturbates needs to use fantasy for arousal. Turn-ons are erotic concepts or images that motivate us to engage in sexual activity. We...
Women’s fantasies are sexually explicit scenarios
A responsive woman’s use of fantasies means her experiences do not fit with any of the descriptions of sexual activity that we see portrayed...
The kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm
Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. A man’s arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear...
Some people enjoy abstract eroticism and fantasy
Sexuality is about our motivation to explore our fantasies both during masturbation alone and during sex play with a lover. Our ability to reach...
Men are aroused by seeing and stimulating genitals
Children of both sexes are indifferent to genitals. They may be mildly curious but they consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of...
How a woman can interest a man in having sex
Sex occurs much more easily in the early stages of a relationship because being affectionate with each other provides the most natural lead-in to...
The role of relationship therapists and counsellors
Adults are embarrassed about sex because of their emotional insecurities. Our emotional needs include a need to impress, a need to belong and a...
A man needs to make sex exciting for a woman
When women see men, they think of sex. You could equally well say that men think the same thing when they see women. But...
Sexual pleasure is defined by sociable activity
Mammals use grooming to connect socially with others. They also snuggle up together for warmth and comfort. Regardless of responsiveness, it can be reassuring...
Women attract men by sexualising themselves
We wear clothes for protection, for warmth, for decency and also for display. The need to differentiate ourselves depends on our personality. Many women...