Learn About Sexuality

Young men tend to focus on enjoying their arousal

From puberty onwards, boys are fascinated by their penis: the way it grows and is pleasurable to touch. They learn that their appreciation of the sexual attributes of a potential lover’s body takes them from arousal to orgasm. The average white male has his first orgasm that leads to ejaculation by the age of 13 years 10½ months (13.88 years).

On average men are taller and more muscular, they have narrower hips and have less body fat than women. Other changes at puberty include the shoulders broadening and the chest cavity increasing in capacity. The voice box develops so that the tenor of a man’s voice is lower than a woman’s. Hair grows on the face, chest, arms and legs.

When a boy first grows facial hair, he may need to wet shave initially to get the hair to grow more vigorously. Once a man has a stronger growth of facial hair it is easier to shave with an electric razor. Current fashions favour clean-shaven men so most men remove facial hair daily. Even after shaving a man has stubble that can be abrasive for a woman during extended kissing.

While orgasm is possible without ejaculation, ejaculation is not normally possible without orgasm. Some men believe that ejaculation is possible without a preceding orgasm but they are confusing orgasm with the concept of ‘orgasmic pleasure’. Ejaculation does not involve mind-blowing pleasure every single time because the sensations that accompany orgasm inevitably vary. We feel varying degrees of sexual pleasure depending on the physical and psychological (erotic or emotional) circumstances that give rise to orgasm. There is no physiological event other than orgasm that could trigger ejaculation.

Ejaculation involves the emission of creamy liquid called semen (commonly known as ‘spunk’). Semen is made up of liquid from various glands including Cowper’s gland and the prostate all situated internally close to the testicles (or testes). The testicles (commonly called ‘balls’) produce the sperm (or spermatozoa) which are the genetic material needed to make a baby. Once a boy is adolescent, orgasm is always accompanied by an ejaculation. Young men wake up each morning with an erection and have spontaneous erections throughout the day as sex-related thoughts occur to them or simply as a result of seeing someone they find attractive.

The changes at puberty are not limited to physical changes. There are emotional and social impacts. There is likely to be competition between boys for attention from girls, uncertainties about approaching the opposite sex and possible concerns about homosexual feelings. Both sexes have a desire to be accepted as part of the social group. Personal hygiene also becomes much more important as hormones cause hair growth and possible sweating. This leads to an increased need for daily bathing and the use of deodorants and aftershave.

Even before they have sex, young men are aroused by the prospect. They may masturbate by imagining possible scenarios for intercourse. They imagine the genital anatomy and the responsiveness of a prospective partner. They do this through buying pornographic magazines or watching porn movies on the internet. Some boys (but not all) enjoy comparing notes on the sexual attributes of the opposite sex and their chances of manoeuvring a girl into a sexual situation. This is a chase situation where the male is the predator and the female is the target.

In violent times, men are killed by other men. Women are also attacked and killed by men. Modern films publicise the psychopaths who target women. Not all men are violent. But the tendency for men to be more aggressive and more sexually motivated than women means that there is a natural imbalance in the way men and women view each other. Men don’t have this contradiction in the way they view the opposite sex.

In order to survive, women must be more socially mature (than men). A woman has to assess the genuineness of a man’s intentions in approaching her. She needs a man who will protect her. Women talk as a means of obtaining the trust they need to engage in intimate relationships with men. Women must also be less sexually driven. They cannot base their relationships with the opposite sex purely on sexual criteria as men can. A woman has not evolved the means of being aroused by a man’s body (as men are aroused by a woman’s body) because her arousal (and orgasm) does not contribute to the reproductive process.

Even very pleasant men have a way of asserting their will and they often expect a woman to agree with them. Many women simply can’t be bothered to fight all the time. But men need to be aware that such behaviour makes it very unlikely that the relationship will ever be communicative. The best sex is enjoyed over the longer term by developing honest and open communication. This can only be done if both partners have some flexibility in attitude and willingness to accept a lover’s point of view.

… physical changes in the adolescent boy usually proceed as follows: beginning of development of pubic hair, first ejaculation, voice change, initiation of rapid growth in height, and, after some lapse of time, completion of growth in height. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)

Comments are closed.