Learn About Sexuality

Intellectual aspects of sexuality

Sexuality is about our motivation to use our imagination to explore sexual fantasies; enjoying the responsiveness of our own body through masturbation alone; and about learning how we can achieve arousal and orgasm alone and with a lover.

The kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm

Regardless of gender, sexual activity that is aimed at achieving orgasm involves continuous rhythmic movements of the whole body focused on the pelvis. A woman achieves orgasm by kneading the internal clitoral organ rhythmically by pushing her fingers down from the bud towards the perineum. When we are aiming for orgasm we may tense our…

We (not a sex toy or lover) cause our own orgasm

We are aroused by something or someone else. But that does not mean that that person (or thing) is responsible for causing our arousal. It is our own mind’s reaction to that person or thing that causes us to become aroused. Men are aroused before they arrive at sexual opportunities. So they don’t generally need…

Women fake orgasm to reassure men’s sexual ego

It is women who are judged to be frigid or dysfunctional because they do not respond to intercourse in the way that men do. The male responses of arousal and orgasm are critical to intercourse. Women’s are not. But women’s willingness to provide positive erotic or affectionate feedback is critical to men’s emotional happiness. So…

Why couples don’t discuss female arousal

Male orgasm is explicit and defines the end of heterosexual activity. It is accepted that a man thrusts until he ejaculates. Couples never discuss the explicit details of how and when female orgasm occurs. This is because of the confusion and ignorance in society about how orgasm is achieved. Most people are insecure about pleasing…

Most women are unaware of the role of the clitoris

The key assumption (that is erroneous) is the belief that women orgasm with a lover by any means. When research established that women are capable of orgasm, it was immediately assumed that women should naturally orgasm during sociable activity as a result of the stimulation men provide during intercourse. It was not appreciated that women…

Only men are aroused by the prospect of sex

Humans (and other mammals) have the ability to remember past events and to form associations with those past events. If the event was particularly significant then we are likely to feel similar emotions the next time we are faced with the same situation. For example, when we enjoy a particular meal. The next time we…

Arousal is a state that proceeds directly to orgasm

Women conclude that orgasm (like masturbation) is boring and over-rated. This is because they assume it occurs automatically during intercourse or when they stimulate themselves. But this is not orgasm. Even men do not orgasm through physical stimulation alone. Any adult needs some form of mental stimulation that is of an explicitly erotic nature to…