Learn About Sexuality

Social aspects of sexuality

Sexuality is about a committed relationship (including social, emotional & sexual activity); observing, talking or interacting with others in return for payment or other non-relationship rewards; and about enjoying sexual pleasure with a lover

The sex industry focuses on male gratification

Sexuality is about talking, observing or interacting with others in return for payment or other non-relationship rewards. Depending on our personality and emotional make-up we may employ a variety of behaviours and attitudes to impress or attract a potential lover. We motivated to different degrees to engage in sociable activity, to want to impress others…

Difficulties in assessing women’s sexuality

Men’s sexuality is straightforward. They see an attractive woman, they get an erection and they are enthusiastic about engaging in sexual activity that leads to reproduction. Orgasm is the physiological event that causes (rewards) the male for the reproductive act of ejaculation. Women’s sexuality is much less intuitive and cannot be rationally explained as long…

Sexual pleasure need not always focus on orgasm

A sex education should include a description of the main techniques that can be used to pleasure men and women. It should be made explicit whether such techniques are intended to assist with orgasm or whether they involve purely emotional and sensual sensations. When we suggest that a couple spends some ‘sexy’ time together, the…

The role of relationship therapists & counsellors

There are research findings that clearly indicate men’s stronger interest in sex. Yet even when therapists are faced with women who ask about a lack of sexual interest, they still do not offer this evidence. There is of course money to be made by insisting there is a condition that can be cured or a…

Sexual behaviours versus sexual responsiveness

A sex education needs to explain sexuality in a coherent and consistent way. It’s not good enough to say that intercourse equates to lovemaking on one occasion and rape on another. It’s not reasonable to attribute the difference to the violent or loving nature of a man. Date rape, for example, can be just like…

How we know women do not orgasm with a lover

It’s fairly straightforward to demonstrate in numerous ways that intercourse is not an activity that women are ever likely to orgasm from. But what about other activities with a lover, especially those that focus on stimulating the female sex organ (the clitoris)? Why do these not work? The key reason is that women are not…

Anorgasmia, preorgasmia and vaginismus

Women feel guilty because they think it’s their fault that they cannot orgasm with a lover. They don’t realise that every woman is the same. It’s only men who think that women should orgasm when men do. No one can seriously believe that painful intercourse is orgasmic. Yet it is implied that vaginismus is a…