HomeEmotional aspects of sexualityVaginal intercourseWhy women cannot orgasm through intercourse

Why women cannot orgasm through intercourse

Male orgasm through intercourse is crucial to human reproductive biology.

(1) Intercourse is totally defined by male responses
Intercourse is a demonstration of the male arousal cycle, from erection to ejaculation. Intercourse is only possible once a man has an erection and it comes to an end once he has had an orgasm (the trigger for ejaculation of sperm). A woman cannot determine the length of time intercourse will last. No one, not even a man, can orgasm from stimulation that lasts for a period of time determined by a lover. To achieve orgasm reliably, we must be able to ensure that stimulation continues until orgasm and preferably not beyond.

(2) Orgasm ends sexual activity that is focused on achieving it
When we masturbate, we cease stimulation once orgasm has been achieved. This is a basic characteristic of orgasm. It is also evidence that orgasm has occurred. When any sexual activity is aimed at achieving orgasm, it ends once orgasm has occurred. This is why men lose interest in all sexual activity once they have had an orgasm. If women were as responsive as men, then for about half the time sexual activity would end with a woman’s orgasm. But if women behaved in this way, men would not be able to satisfy their need to ejaculate into the vagina and reproduction would be adversely affected.

(3) Orgasm cannot be defined to suit the individual
Orgasm is a basic physiological response of the human body so it is not possible for one individual to have a unique response. A few women boast about orgasm, which is easy but doesn’t explain why men pay prostitutes, as well as assault and drug women, to get sex. These male behaviours cannot be explained by saying that women are as sexually amenable as men hope.

(4) Women need more time to orgasm than men do
Men masturbate to orgasm within a minute or so. Intercourse may be more rewarding but the stimulation is more indirect so it takes longer. Most men (three-quarters of them) orgasm on average within two minutes of initiating intercourse. A woman is assumed to be able to engineer her orgasm to occur within this two-minute window. Yet research indicates that women need 4 minutes to orgasm alone and 10 to 20 minutes or longer with a lover.

(5) Women orgasm much less frequently than men do
Orgasm does not occur like pressing a button. Each person experiences orgasm with a specific frequency. Women orgasm on average once every two weeks regardless of age. Men orgasm much more frequently than women. It is not possible for a woman to orgasm every time a man does.

(6) A woman cannot obtain the correct stimulation with a lover
The position a woman assumes to allow penetration of the vagina is incompatible with how female orgasm is achieved. During intercourse a woman lies on her back and cooperates with male thrusting, by spreading her legs and gyrating her hips to assist with stimulation of the penis. To achieve orgasm, a woman lies face down and massages down over the glans with her fingers, while thrusting her hips and tensing her buttock muscles.

(7) Women need emotional factors to be amenable to intercourse
The emotional environment of rape is certainly very different to consensual intercourse. But the physical stimulation of rape is not so radically different. Rape involves a man thrusting into a woman’s vagina with his penis. It is not possible for an act that causes women so much distress to also cause arousal. Women need emotional factors to be amenable to offering intercourse. Consent would not be an issue if intercourse caused female orgasm.

(8) For a woman, intercourse is a loving rather than an erotic act
Men are aroused by intercourse regardless of relationship factors. This is because an erotic stimulus causes arousal regardless of emotional circumstances. Intercourse is only erotic from the point of view of the male penetrator. Intercourse, from the female perspective is merely an act of impregnation. There is no reason why women should ever be aroused even with a lover, so women are not aroused by real-world triggers as men are.

(9) Women are meant to be unresponsive with a lover
Male arousal is crucial to reproduction because a man must have an erection to make penetration possible. But an orifice, such as the vagina, can always be penetrated regardless of a person’s state of arousal. Women’s reproductive role is to cooperate with intercourse until a man ejaculates semen (containing sperm) into her vagina, which is the reproductive event. If women could orgasm through their own efforts (from clitoral stimulation) or if they were motivated to stimulate a lover (by hand or by mouth), intercourse would be less likely and reproduction would be less successful.

(10) Female orgasm has no role in human reproduction
The function of male orgasm is to trigger the ejaculation of sperm. This is how a man’s genes (within the spermatozoa) are transferred to the women’s body. A woman is impregnated if sperm are present at a time when she has recently ovulated. An egg fuses with a sperm to create a new life. Ovulation occurs automatically so female orgasm plays no role in reproduction.

The vagina has no anatomical structure that can cause orgasm. (Vincenzo & Giulia Puppo)

Excerpt from Learn About Sexuality (ISBN 978-0956-894748)