Bravado is a way of covering up embarrassment. Adults use euphemisms to imply a fashionable sexual sophistication while avoiding the need to be explicit. Men talk about humping, screwing and banging. These words emphasise the male role of thrusting into a vagina. Women are the ones being humped, screwed or banged. Movies use sound effects to indicate a couple having sex off-screen: a regular banging (of a bed against a wall) and the woman’s moaning. Men may laugh but women are embarrassed.
Men have power in relationships because they dictate what happens during sex. Heterosexual relationships depend on women providing the stimulation and erotic turn-ons that men need for orgasm. Women are not aroused with a lover so the only proactive role available to them involves assisting with male orgasm. Nature’s intent is to maximise reproduction.
Men talk about ‘giving her one’ as a form of punishment. The man takes his pleasure and the women gets his semen and possible bears his progeny. The superior position of the male penetrator means that women are in some way violated or sullied by intercourse whereas men have won something. The word ‘bitch’ is used for animals to mean the female of the species. But when a man says to another man “You can be my bitch” the meaning reflects the attitude of the superior, dominant and penetrating male.
Eroticism is essentially male turn-ons, that is sexual concepts that are arousing to men. Men view eroticism positively because it arouses them. Many women view eroticism more negatively since it represents a male view of sex. Women consider eroticism to be crude, offensive and even obscene or disgusting. This is logical since sex provides male physical gratification at the expense of female dignity and emotional happiness.
Men can enjoy sexual pleasure without any concern for the consequences. Women are much more conscious of what is socially acceptable because they are shamed and humiliated through sex. If sex were equal, then women would be able to humiliate and insult men through sex. Sex is loaded in men’s favour. Men enjoy pleasure while women have the risks.
We see bikini-clad and half-naked women all over the internet because they are selling sex to men. There are no female equivalents (men selling sex to women). So women are often blamed for illicit sex and men are able to stay anonymous. Yet it is men who make money out of the sex industry by employing low-paid women. This is just one example of how men pass the taboo of sex onto women. Women only respond to the demand from men. Male sex drive, which involves no concern for consequences, means men create the problems (that women are blamed for) that arise from sex.
In any sexual scenario, men can escape responsibility much more easily than a woman can. No man sees prostitution, or rape for that matter, as his problem. It’s always some other guy. A woman is shamed by society for being a prostitute but men are never shamed for visiting a prostitute. Women typically go into prostitution as a last resort as a means of earning money often to support their children who have absent fathers.
Women are often blamed for sex but the demand for sex comes from men. Prostitutes, for example, are satisfying a male need. Women take advantage of a man’s need for sex to earn a living. Women accept sex with all its disadvantages because of their desire to have children. They support men in their activities (moral or otherwise) because they rely on a man’s income to support a family. Women are complicit in men’s activities.
No one ever admits that sex is biased in men’s favour. Accounts of female orgasm are heavily promoted and accounts of harassment, exploitation and rape are hushed up. Women need men for two reasons. A woman needs a man to protect her (against other men) and to support her while she raises children. She doesn’t need sex. So sex, and all its issues, is a male problem.
Kinsey noted that the vast majority of men engage in some form of sexual activity, even if it is only masturbation, on a regular basis from adolescence to the end of their active sexual lives. He commented that many women can happily live without being sexually stimulated for weeks, months and even years at any time in their life. Most women do not masturbate so the only sexual stimulation they ever experience is supplied by a male partner. Even a responsive woman only masturbates when she has the opportunity.
Women assume men are on their side but men prioritise their own interests. Semen is harmless while it’s inside a man’s body. It is only once semen enters a woman’s body that there is a problem. A man feels no responsibility for the consequences of his sex drive. It is women’s role to bear children so men assume a woman should want a child no matter what the circumstances of conception. Men ignore women’s emotional needs.
… she’s a person and you should treat her with respect. But seriously, do you want someone to one day bang your daughter if they don’t respect her? (Alice Carter 2014)