Learn About Sexuality

The kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm

An adult experiences orgasm (once aroused) by stimulating the phallus or erectile sex organ. The penis and the clitoris are anatomically equivalent. The sex organs (penis and clitoris) have two corpora cavernosa that fill with blood when the mind is engaged with thoughts of an explicitly erotic nature. The kind of stimulation, that might lead to orgasm, is highly specific and involves massaging the erectile organ or more specifically the blood-flow within the phallus. The phallus must be stimulated from arousal through to climax, by massaging the erectile organ in a firm rhythm.

Regardless of orientation, men orgasm through intercourse, masturbation and fellatio. The stimulation that causes male orgasm is always very similar. A man’s arousal (in the form of an erection) also gives him a clear indication of the anatomy he wants to stimulate. A man massages the corpora cavernosa, which are inside shaft of the penis. An erection is much more obvious and more easily achieved than clitoral tumescence.

There is no precedent or justification for female orgasm. Other female animals do not appear to orgasm at any time and female orgasm has no role in reproduction. The only precedent relates to male orgasm, which triggers ejaculation: a requirement of reproduction. Every male animal uses an insertion process to fertilise the egg typically within the female’s body.

So female orgasm can only be logically explained in terms relative to male orgasm. The same anatomy is involved, the phallus. Female masturbation mimics male thrusting. A woman emulates the male role in intercourse, by thrusting with her pelvis and clenching her buttocks. She lies on her front with her hands between her legs because this is the best position to facilitate thrusting and pressure the internal clitoral organ. She massages the corpora cavernosa within the internal clitoral organ.

Anyone who can orgasm should be able to describe not only the anatomy but also the kind of stimulation that leads to orgasm. Most women are unaware of the location and function of the clitoris. Orgasm is not achieved by thumping or prodding the sex organ, which is the kind of vaginal stimulation believed to cause female orgasm. Cunnilingus and using a vibrator are both very different to manual stimulation of the clitoral organ.

Some women describe rubbing the clitoral glans. This reflects what we see in pornography, where a woman diddles her clit (the glans of the clitoris) for the benefit of a male audience. She has her eyes open to make eye contact with her potential admirers. Men masturbate in a similar manner. A man holds the skin at the end of the penis and pulls it back and forth over the glans. But this action simultaneously massages the shaft of the penis and the corpora cavernosa within it. A similar action on the clitoral glans does not massage the internal organ, which contains the corpora cavernosa.

The hands are the most natural masturbation tool and everything else is a gimmick. The massaging motion over the glans is similar for both sexes. The main difference is that a woman doesn’t have a shaft to stimulate. Her technique cannot therefore mimic intercourse as closely as a man’s can. A woman uses a ‘humping’ motion to thrust her vulva against her fingers. Some women do rub their vulva against a soft object such as a stuffed toy or a pillow. It is unlikely though that they achieve orgasm because the clitoral stimulation is not sufficiently firm or explicit.

Immediately before reaching orgasm, we may cease stimulation. Just like the shove penny game at the fair, we are nearly there and just a little effort can now cause us to orgasm. Like waiting for a wave to reach us and then riding the wave onto the beach, we wait for our climax to arrive. Once the surge of orgasm starts, we apply firm pressure to have the satisfaction of thrusting as we massage our sex organ and enjoy the pelvic contractions.

We can identify scenarios that might cause orgasm by considering what stimulation a person can reliably obtain for their sex organ. A man can obtain the stimulation of intercourse, regardless of a partner’s willingness. Male masturbation and fellatio both involve a similar massaging stimulation of the shaft of the penis as a man obtains from penetrative sex.

We must be able to reliably obtain the stimulation needed for orgasm. All forms of female stimulation by a partner depend on a lover’s willingness. A woman cannot force anyone, especially a man, to provide vaginal or other stimulation. Neither cunnilingus nor breast stimulation cause orgasm. A woman cannot use her mouth to stimulate her own breasts or glans.

The sensations of being penetrated do not cause orgasm. Even the proposal that there is a hyper-sensitive spot somewhere within the vagina cannot change the fact that orgasm is not achieved by someone jabbing or poking their sex organ. Men may ejaculate spontaneously from anal penetration because simulation of the prostate gland causes male ejaculation. Women do not have an equivalent to the prostate.

The effectiveness of such a technique depends chiefly upon … pelvic movements and rhythmic contractions of the large muscles (the gluteal muscles) in the buttocks, and of the muscles (chiefly adductors) which are located near the front and inner surfaces of the thigh. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)

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