Learn About Sexuality

The misconceptions that arise from pornography

Pornography provides boys with completely unrealistic images of women’s sexuality. This issue needs to be addressed by sex educators if boys are to have healthy relationships and find emotional happiness. If real life was like a porn movie, then porn would not be needed. In real life, men orgasm easily (on average within 2 minutes of initiating intercourse). But this does not provide a very great window for portraying fantasy scenarios. So porn actors are chosen for the size and endurance of their penis.

Men like to think that women are satisfied by a large penis. They ignore the fact that when women masturbate they stimulate the clitoris not the vagina. Men also ignore the fact that the vagina is part of the birth canal that has to accommodate a baby’s head so it’s unlikely to be sensitive to a penis no matter what size it is. Men also believe that women are satisfied through endless thrusting. But intercourse is boring for women because of the almost complete lack of sensation. Only the vestibule (or entrance) to the vagina has some sensitivity.

In real life women are able to engage in sexual activity almost indefinitely because they are not aroused by sexual activity with a lover. But this does not make them the most exciting sexual partners. Women have to exaggerate their arousal to some degree even if this is only to the extent of moving their hips during intercourse to increase the stimulation of the penis.

In porn women provide every kind of vocal and behavioural indication of supposed arousal (sex talk, showing initiative and much vocal accompaniment). Porn actresses show sexual initiative as men would like women to. They proactively volunteer to suck on his penis and masturbate him. They ride a man by hovering over his groin and guiding his erect penis into their vagina.

Porn actresses apparently relish all the graphic details of sex that mean so much to men. So women positively lap up semen, groan with feigned pleasure over hairy testicles and gleaming penises. During penetration and thrusting women’s faces express surprise, shock or satisfaction as if women can feel a man’s penis in her vagina, which of course she cannot.

Women are shown giving vocal accompaniment during intercourse. Vocals range from ‘Oh my God!’ to ‘Come on baby. Give it to me!’ Porn actresses provide male encouragement by talking ‘dirty’ or providing ‘sex chat’. This encourages men to believe that women enjoy the crudity of sexual activity as much as they do. Real women are typically offended or embarrassed by such talk.

The excitement about female orgasm revolves around the idea that women can be persuaded to engage in intercourse (and other sexual activity with a lover) because they want to have an orgasm. So saying that female orgasm doesn’t occur with a lover, is interpreted as meaning that women can’t enjoy sex. This is a product of confused thinking.

The confusion over female orgasm occurs because the perception (which is wrong) is that when a woman has an orgasm it is more like prolonged arousal. A woman is constantly aroused and re-aroused. This allows pornography to show women being pleasured from beginning to end through intercourse in a parallel fashion to how men enjoy intercourse. But men enjoy arousal, not orgasm, while they are thrusting.

Our perception of female orgasm (from erotic fiction) is that women are in a perpetual state of arousal throughout intercourse (or other sexual activity with a lover). The implication is that the sensations of being penetrated vaginally equate to the sensations a man has from penetrating a lover’s body with his penis. This reflects men’s pleasure over their role as the penetrator in intercourse. But this is a fallacy because the vagina (and rectum) provide relatively little sensation. Also women do not experience arousal as men do. For women, arousal is simply the state that precedes orgasm and focuses on enjoying a fantasy scenario. Even clitoral stimulation does not provide sensational pleasure; only orgasm when combined with the use of erotic fantasies.

A woman’s orgasm is supposed to miraculously occur just at the right moment synchronised perfectly with a man’s orgasm. Or she has multiple orgasms that just keep going until the man has his orgasm. ‘Multiple orgasms’ offer a way of explaining how porn actresses can be apparently aroused and re-aroused indefinitely. This is such an obvious male turn-on. It’s the age-old female role of assisting with male orgasm. Women in porn are never shown actually reaching a climax. There is no point at which a woman is no longer able to engage in sexual activity. In this respect, at least, porn does reflect real life. But women can continue sexual activity indefinitely because they are not aroused and do not orgasm with a lover.

But in all this quantity of pornographic production it is exceedingly difficult to find any material that has been produced by females. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)

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