How the male and female sexual roles differ

Primitive life, such as bacteria, reproduce asexually. But most animals and plants reproduce sexually so that offspring inherit genes from both parents. Even in plants, the mechanism for enabling the male gamete to join with the female gamete is engineered by the male reproductive part. There is competition between male gametes because only one fuses with the female gamete. This is essentially the definition of male and female in biology.

Single-sex organisms produce and fertilise their own eggs. The male is a later evolutionary development. First single-sex organisms evolve a phallus. Then over eons, the development of the phallus varies according to the responsiveness of the individual. Those organisms that succeed in penetrating another individual evolve into proactive males. Those individuals who are willing to be impregnated evolve into passive females.

The evolution of the two sexes, male and female, involved more active individuals impregnating less active ones. This is core to understanding that a person’s sex is related to their general metabolic rate. The more physically active tend to be more responsive. But also psychological arousal relies on identifying with the male role in intercourse. Orgasm involves a mindset that is intent on being the penetrator in sexual activity. This explains why female masturbation is so rare in the population.

Sexual differentiation involves more than the anatomy we are born with. There are differences in behaviour between the sexes even in very young children. Various chemicals, including hormones, control emotional and sexual response. The male and female brains also respond very differently to erotic stimuli. Many stimuli that are attractive to the male are repugnant to the female. Most men have little interest in the emotional stimuli that women enjoy. This is what makes men and women different.

Most men, especially when young, are regularly and reliable aroused. This arousal takes the form of a firm erection, which they are motivated to enjoy through by obtaining penile stimulation. This is ideally done through intercourse but can also be effected through masturbation alone. Women do not experience an arousal cycle except through masturbating. Women are not aroused by real-world erotic stimuli and only respond by using a mental focus on surreal fantasies during masturbation alone.

Heterosexuality relies on the complementary roles of men and women. This is perhaps the most important issue to appreciate in order to understand the key difference between male and female sexuality. Only a male is motivated to mate because he is aroused on seeing a female.

Responsiveness (the ability to respond to the point of orgasm) is part of male reproductive function. For reproduction to occur, a spermatozoa (from the man) must join with the egg (from the woman). This involves:

  • A man having an erect penis (male arousal);
  • A man being motivated to penetrate a vagina (male sex drive); and
  • A man being motivated to thrust until ejaculation (male orgasm).

Female orgasm is a miracle. It’s amazing that any woman experiences orgasm because it is an evolutionary dead-end. Female orgasm has no function. So it would be strange if it were common. This is why it was first discovered by researchers rather than being a well-known phenomenon in the general population. Very few women ever ask about orgasm, which is natural because you cannot miss what you have never known.

For successful reproduction, women need to have:

  • A desire to experience motherhood;
  • The emotional make-up that allows her to care about others without any sexual payback; and
  • A willingness to respond to the needs of others (by breastfeeding a baby and providing a mate with the sex he needs).

The genital tubercle grows into the penis in a male and into the clitoris in a female. Everyone has a phallus but intercourse, which dominates our view of sexuality, involves a man inserting his phallus into the vagina. The clitoris has no role in reproduction and so does not respond with a lover.

The average male … has a greater need than most females have for a regular and frequent sexual outlet. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)