Learn About Sexuality

Why men feel inadequate over penis size

For men there is no subject more taboo than penis size. The first issue is simple competition between men. The second is the misconception that women are stimulated to orgasm through intercourse. Men assume incorrectly that a woman obtains more pleasure from a larger or longer penis. Sadly, for most of the time the penis is flaccid (non-erect) and much smaller than its maximum size.

In cold temperatures the flaccid penis shrivels to almost nothing (the testicles and penis withdraw up into the body) for protection. The penis is made to penetrate another body (around 37 degrees Centigrade). The testicles hang down from the body. Sperm production requires the scrotum to be 2 degrees lower than the rest of the body. If the scrotal temperature is raised, this may interfere with a man’s fertility.

In many species it is the male who is bright and gaudy to impress the female. While peahens (female birds) have small brown feathers, peacocks (male birds) have impressive tails with extremely long colourful feathers. In humans, men have a penis that is often much larger than is needed for reproduction. A man’s penis is an emblem of his masculinity. It represents the key anatomy that differentiates him as a male.

Regardless of size, a man’s penis has immeasurable value for the individual because of the pleasure it gives him. A man hopes that his penis will impress others, particularly a lover. A man’s penis is the core of his sexuality and his masculinity. Size is an issue given men’s desire to be sexually impressive. No one is intimidated or impressed by a small penis.

Many men worry about penis size. Pornography does not help because male porn stars are specifically chosen for the impressiveness of their genitals. Men are self-conscious of their penis and anxious if it does not compare well to those shown in pornography. Porn shows men with enormous (regularly shaped) genitals and a constant erection throughout almost endless sexual activity. Porn actors are chosen to look good on film. They also get used to (they respond less immediately to) the visuals and stimulation that are involved in acting out a porn movie.

Heterosexual men typically only see other men’s penises in an unaroused state. Most men have a penis that is small when flaccid but increases in size when erect (‘grower’). Other men have a penis which hardly increases in size at all when they become erect (‘shower’) but it may be larger than average when flaccid. These men have a natural advantage in the men’s bathroom or changing room.

Contrary to male beliefs women are rarely concerned with penis size. The misconception is that women are ‘satisfied’ by a large penis. There is however no research to confirm this belief. In the first place women are not aroused by intercourse regardless of the size of a man’s penis. A woman may be impressed in a general sense by the size of a man’s penis but this has nothing to do with the sensation she enjoys during intercourse.

It’s unlikely that statistics relating to penis size are accurate. A man only has an erection when he is aroused, which is a transitory state and most usually a private situation. It is difficult to imagine how anyone could measure erect penises in sufficient numbers to provide reliable statistics that could be legitimately extended to the whole population. Any research relying on men’s own measurements would be suspect given the challenges of measurement and men’s desire to exaggerate penis size.

Variations in Nature often follow a normal distribution curve. This means that most (70%) of measurements fall around the average with relatively few measurements falling either side of the average. If we ignore the extremes, we could estimate a maximum penis size of say 8 inches. Ignoring extremes again, we could also estimate a smallest penis size of say 2 inches. The average would fall in between (around 5 inches). The maximum penis size is likely to be limited (to some degree) by the depth of a woman’s vagina. There would be a reproductive disadvantage to having a penis longer than is comfortable for a woman during intercourse.

Penis size is only part of male ego. Men’s key sexual role (after impregnating women) is to defend and protect the family and community. In an aggressive situation a man must be physically large and muscular to intimidate an opponent. In a political situation he must be assertive and competent to impress an adversary. Men never want to be laughed at. Hitler and Napoleon were short men but they had the authority to lead other men into disastrous battles (against the Russians for example) without being questioned. There are many fewer women who try to intimidate or impress others on the scale that men do. It is much easier for a woman to put on some bright red lipstick and a revealing dress to attracting male attention.

… men come to the sexual experience with only his porno-sex-ed and general socialization – ergo pleasing a woman means: 1) A big penis 2) Lasting a long time during intercourse 3) Making her orgasm. … Instead many women want an emotional connection, intimacy and feeling nurtured. (Trina Read 2014)

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