Learn About Sexuality

Why men feel inadequate over penis size

The testicles hang down from the body because sperm production is optimised at 2 degrees lower than body temperature. If the scrotal temperature is raised, a man’s fertility may decrease. For most of the time the penis is flaccid (non-erect) and much smaller than its maximum size. In cold temperatures the flaccid penis shrivels to almost nothing. The testicles and penis are retracted up into the body for protection.

Most men have a penis that is small when flaccid but increases in size when erect (‘grower’). Other men have a penis which hardly increases in size at all when they become erect (‘shower’) but it may be larger than average when flaccid. These men have an advantage in the men’s changing room.

Variations in Nature often follow a normal distribution curve. This means that most (70%) of measurements fall around the average with relatively few measurements falling either side of the average. If we ignore the extremes, we could estimate a maximum penis size of say 8 inches. Ignoring extremes again, we could also estimate a smallest penis size of say 2 inches. The average would fall in between (around 5 inches). The maximum penis size is likely to be limited (to some degree) by the depth of a woman’s vagina. There would be a reproductive disadvantage to having a penis longer than is comfortable for a woman during intercourse.

It’s unlikely that statistics relating to penis size are accurate. A man only has an erection when he is aroused, which is a transitory state and most usually a private situation. It is difficult to imagine how anyone could measure erect penises in sufficient numbers to provide reliable statistics that could be legitimately extended to the whole population. Any research relying on men’s own measurements would be suspect given the challenges of measurement and men’s desire to exaggerate penis size.

In an aggressive situation a man must be physically large and muscular to intimidate an opponent. In a political situation he must be assertive and competent enough to impress an adversary. Men never want to be laughed at. There is no link between high responsiveness and having a large penis. Some men have a tiny penis that never becomes fully erect. They may still have a high sex drive. They can still penetrate a woman’s vagina and enjoy thrusting. Regardless of size, a man is proud of his erection because of the pleasure it gives him.

Men’s key sexual role (after impregnating women) is to protect the family. A man’s penis is the core of his sexuality and his masculinity. Size is an issue given men’s desire to be sexually impressive. No one is intimidated or impressed by a small penis. A man is more of a threat and has more natural authority than a woman has. On the other hand, men are more likely to be accused of engaging in anti-social, deviant or perverted behaviour.

For men there is no subject more taboo than penis size. The first issue is a natural competition of virility between men. A man also hopes his erect penis will impress others, particularly a lover. A man’s penis is an emblem of his masculinity. Men have a penis that is often much larger than is needed for reproduction. A penis can be a weapon. The bigger it is the more damage it can do. Rape clearly causes damage to a woman’s internal anatomy and can even kill. But consensual intercourse requires the man to use some restraint.

Women have no interest in a penis of any size. This is a male experience. Women never have erections so it means little to them. If a man has a small penis, a woman is probably no more disappointed than a man might be with a woman having tiny breasts. These things are nice to have but they are not the most important aspect of loving someone. Anyone who feels deficient in these ways probably suffers more than their lovers do.

Men are quick to assert their superiority over women in every respect. Yet when it comes to orgasm, men accept that female performance outstrips male. Men assume incorrectly that a woman obtains more pleasure from intercourse if a man has a bigger penis. All internal organs of the body are inert. It seems strange that men assume women experience the same pleasure as men without the benefit of their magnificent sex organ.

All that sexual frustration men talk about is presumably just a figment of their imagination. Women certainly don’t complain of it. Men’s pride in their erection is similarly an over-inflated vanity about nothing special. Women experience the same sex drive and achieve exactly the same intensity of arousal and orgasm as men do. Yet they don’t need an erection to achieve the same result. So what are men making all the fuss about?

… men come to the sexual experience with only his porno-sex-ed and general socialization – ergo pleasing a woman means: 1) A big penis 2) Lasting a long time during intercourse 3) Making her orgasm. … Instead many women want an emotional connection, intimacy and feeling nurtured. (Trina Read 2014)

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