Women read romantic stories that focus on the courtship process that is often necessary for a woman to feel emotionally receptive to intercourse. Romantic stories usually end before the sex begins. The woman’s conquest is marriage. Once she has a man’s support then she can plan a family. Porn, of course, shows women how men would like them to be. They are sexually willing from the first moment of meeting.
Men are not motivated to spend significant amounts of time with those they love. They tend to prefer following their own pursuits. They may only think of a partner when they need sex. When a woman loves a man she hopes to spend significant amounts of time with him sharing life experiences. When a man has no emotional connection with a woman he simply uses her as a sexual outlet. When a woman has no emotional connection with a man she may offer sex just for money or other reward (such as drinks or a meal).
Men stress about what they can do or say to impress a woman enough to get her into bed. So they are frustrated when a date does not result in sex. Most women need time to develop an emotional connection before intercourse feels appropriate. But an experienced woman knows that any relationship with a man involves an on-going commitment of continuing to offer regular sex. So although it’s only one time, it’s usually the first time out of many. A man more or less assumes that the arrangement is on-going. This makes the first time a couple has sex a bigger decision.
Men tend to seek women out. Men typically make the first approach in any dating scenario because men’s sex drive provides a much greater motivation (in the short term) for initiating intimate interaction with others (even if only on a casual basis). Once a man is aroused, he may be frustrated if intercourse is not available. In mainstream society there are various conventions and dating rituals that men and women go through to establish the level of intimacy that is appropriate.
Dating is a social activity that is required by the woman and involves a man demonstrating his willingness to engage on the companionable aspects of relationships. We can see that men don’t need to engage in dating because encounters between gay men usually start with sex.
Women’s lack of responsiveness means that they have much less to gain from casual sexual encounters. Given women don’t have a sex drive and they are not aroused by sexual activity, they are much more focused on the non-sexual aspects of relationships: companionship, love and affection. These aspects depend on knowing and liking a person, which all takes time.
Romance allows a man to demonstrate that he is interested in a woman as a person. Once a woman feels that a man cares for her, she is able to interpret his sex drive as being personal to her. This is why men still pay for dates that don’t necessarily end in sex. Romance does not help with female arousal but it may cause a woman to want sex.
Women enjoy romance, which is associated with the non-sexual intimacy: when a couple spends time together enjoying affectionate companionship., A woman needs to find a man attractive before she will accept him as a lover. Women take longer than men to choose a lover because a woman is not looking for good looks alone but also for a man who is devoted to her.
A woman may not initially be attracted to a man. A woman is seduced by a man who is attentive to her and who takes an interest in her. Sometimes a woman will accept a man who is persistent even if she rejects him initially. This is very flattering to a woman. If the man succeeds in making himself attractive she may eventually accept him. This behaviour makes it difficult for a man to accept a woman saying ‘no’. The fact that he is willing to invest so much effort persuades her that his devotion may last for the longer term. An experienced woman realises that men can be easily tempted by sexual opportunities with other women.
An inexperienced woman may be tempted to delay rejecting a man in the hope that he will take the hint. If a woman intends to reject a man, it is best to do so straightaway. She should have the courage to tell a man to his face that she’s not interested. Often women avoid the conflict and find indirect ways to avoid meeting a man. Most men finally get the message. At each stage during a courtship or dating routine, the man is encouraged by the fact that he is not rejected. Regardless of the woman’s behaviour as long as she is still engaging with him, then he is hopeful. The longer the situation goes on the more hopeful he is that he will gain a sexual opportunity and so the greater is his disappointment when he is finally rejected.
So what turns her on? … A man who makes her feel ‘safe’ and treats her like she is a vital part of his very existence, and not just a favourite sperm dumpsite. (Yangki Akiteng 2015)