Farmers know that cows will mount other cows. But the cows that are mounted are those in estrus. The ones that do the mounting are not in estrus. Estrus in animals causes the female to be more docile and to be more amenable to being mounted.
We attribute negative associations to passivity and submissiveness. The male aggressive model is respected and women want a similar respect from men. There can be shame or embarrassment associated with being the person (male or female) who is penetrated. This is exacerbated if the person who is penetrating a lover is disrespectful.
Individuals are not necessarily submissive personalities. They may be quite the opposite. It is a matter of how emotionally perceptive they are. Anyone who is attracted to a man, may be amenable to offering him an opportunity for penetrative sex. This is not sex drive, or even responsiveness.
It is an emotional response. The receiver enjoys giving pleasure, of being the object of a lover’s sex drive and in the sensations of being penetrated (even though such sensations do not lead to orgasm). Homosexual men are willing to be penetrated. Lesbian women are not (at least by a penis).
When there are two families who hate each other (e.g. the Capulets and the Montagues) and a man has intercourse with a woman of the other family, it is the woman’s family who feels attacked. The man and the man’s family have lost nothing. One ejaculation is nothing. But for the woman and her family one ejaculation potentially represents pregnancy and a child. This is the territorial nature of intercourse. A man deposits his sperm in a woman’s vagina and potentially his progeny in her womb.
Logically, given men themselves are responsive and therefore tempted by promiscuity, one might have thought that they would look favourably on women who are promiscuous. But they don’t. This is because of men’s territorial instincts. A man wants a woman to be enthusiastic about sex but only with him. Once a man has gone to the trouble to persuade a woman to have intercourse with him, he is not inclined to want to start the process all over again with another woman. Single men have to date or chat up every woman they go to bed with. A man needs a regular sexual outlet and this is obtained most easily by engaging in a relationship with a woman.
Men fantasise about ‘threesomes’ but that always means one man and two women. A man doesn’t want competition from other men. In the harem situation a man feels secure because he is the only male. But in a swinging situation women can have many more partners than a man. Women do not orgasm with a lover. Men need to recuperate between lovers before they can be aroused again. Men don’t like to see their partner with other men in general although they may fantasise about this situation.
When you watch a carnivore lining up its prey you can see the tension. Perhaps you have seen a domestic cat watching a small bird. The fluttering and rustling of the bird’s movement catch the cat’s eye. Once the bird has the cat’s attention, the carnivore is mesmerised by the sight and sound of its prey. The predator may sway its haunches. It has a fixed stare of concentration on its prey. It’s trying to figure out the best time to start the chase and how it can best succeed in catching the bird. Then the cat tenses in anticipation. It sets off and pounces on the prey holding it down until it has subdued the victim by fear or physically paralysed it.
Male sex drive causes men to behave in a similar way. A woman’s way of moving or her figure attracts a man’s attention. The sound of her voice, her laugh or her smile. A man has a shut-down of his other senses as his mind becomes focused on the arousal he feels from observing her. He imagines having her naked and what intercourse would feel like. Even if he is not well received, the fear or submissiveness communicated by a victim can be a turn-on. Some men appear to be just as pleased with women’s shrieks of shock and looks of disgust as when a woman truly admires a man and accepts his advances.
The core biological function of intercourse is a territorial act whereby the male dominates the female. In line with other female mammals, a woman’s basic response to intercourse ranges from indifference (a man only needs the female to cooperate for as long as he needs to ejaculate) to fierce objection (in the case of rape). Of the two scenarios, the one that involves most adrenaline for a man is the rape scenario. This is the scenario where a woman is likely to ‘respond’ with body movement and vocal objections.
All-male institutions (prisons, army bases and public schools) have ‘bull queers’ who are not necessarily homosexual. They are men who enjoy raping other men. The more their prey wiggles and attempts to escape the happier they are. Their victims are called ‘wigglers’. This scenario is plainly for the enjoyment of the giver not the receiver.
In species where there is a struggle before the female submits to coitus, the male must be physically dominant and capable of controlling the female. In the ultimate act it is the male which more often mounts in back of the female and makes the active pelvic thrusts which effect intromission. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)