Learn About Sexuality

Intercourse needs to continue until ejaculation

Ejaculating into a partner’s body is the natural conclusion to the male arousal cycle. A man needs intercourse to dissipate sensations of sexual frustration and feel sexually satisfied. So heterosexual activity will always focus on male arousal. Men are so much more easily aroused but also once aroused they have an intense focus on achieving sexual release (orgasm). Intercourse is an obvious showcase for displaying male virility and a man’s arousal cycle (from erection to ejaculation). Men are motivated to impregnate a woman through an on-going process of demonstrating his virility (as a potent male who may be in demand from other women).

Men’s challenge is to enjoy their arousal for as long as they can before they feel compelled to ejaculate through intercourse. Women’s challenge is to find a way to participate in an activity that does not arouse them. Once a man has started on intercourse he is unlikely to stop until he has ejaculated. A woman is expected to remain in position until the man has ejaculated.

Men enjoy the pleasure of thrusting so they want to last as long as possible. Men know that orgasm ends their ability to stimulate a partner through intercourse. But because women provide an orifice rather than a phallus, men accept that a woman’s orgasm does not have any impact on when sexual activity ends. Conveniently a man can thrust until ejaculation.

The woman is merely a bystander during intercourse. Over time she becomes increasingly disinterested in repeated intercourse but she provides it to keep the peace. Intercourse may be effortless for a woman but emotionally and erotically she feels nothing. She doesn’t feel loved but merely used. A woman feels disrespected unless a man shows some appreciation for the pleasure she is allowing him to take from her body. She stops including affectionate foreplay because the act becomes one of simply satisfying a man’s carnal needs. Intercourse becomes functional and lacking in any emotional content that a woman can appreciate.

A woman feels little from consensual intercourse. Nor does the activity hold any particular interest for her. A relaxing massage may compensate for a lack of arousal. Men think this is boring but this is why women don’t want sex. For women quick intercourse is generally a plus. But they may miss ‘lovemaking’ including romantic kissing and non-genital touching.

For a woman, sex involves investing in lover’s pleasure with no payback. She is also expected to respond in a way that reassures a male lover that he is pleasing her. This is the authority of male sex drive, which is reinforced by women’s embarrassment over sex. Even mature and sexually-experienced women never challenge the male view. Every generation of young women assumes they should respond as men think they should.

Some women use vocal turn-ons or assist with penile stimulation so as to minimise the time for intercourse. Women time the sound accompaniment of their faked orgasm to coincide with male orgasm. If a woman anticipates a man’s build-up, she can assist by providing the turn-on he needs to achieve orgasm. Eventually, men do seem to seek an end to thrusting.

To understand a woman’s sexual position, a man should imagine a sexual scenario that is not erotic for him. He should imagine having an unattractive sexual partner. This is women’s position but she has to offer her body on a regular basis and try not to look too bored while her partner expects her to be enthusiastic. It’s a challenge after a few decades.

After intercourse, when the man has ejaculated his semen flows out of the woman’s vagina leaving a wet patch on the bed. Since women don’t want to sleep in pool of semen they usually make a dash for the bathroom. The wet patch tends to be on the woman’s side of the bed because it is the man who moves and puts himself on top of her. A woman can cup her hand under her vagina on her way to the bathroom so she doesn’t drip semen.

If we are to understand men and women’s sexuality, we must never forget that Nature wants us to engage foremost in intercourse. Male sex drive and women’s lack of responsiveness with a lover both work towards this goal. Women can engage in sexual activity indefinitely because they are not aroused with a lover and so not focused on achieving their own orgasm. This makes women much more flexible and generous lovers than men.

Orgasms are elusive. Most women don’t have one every time (or maybe even most times) they hit the sheets. Plenty of surveys—and likely your own bedroom experience—verify that. (Anna Davies 2013)

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