Learn About Sexuality

Young women tend to focus on their attractiveness

The role of the female is clearly to attract the male. This is a behaviour and has nothing to do with responsiveness. The fashion industry, the cosmetics industry, nail bars, hairdressers etc. are almost entirely devoted to enhancing women’s looks. Men do not display themselves provocatively and if they do women are not impressed. It’s all one way. Nature doesn’t need both sexes to have a sex drive. That would be overkill. Men have the sex drive. They are also bigger and stronger than women. So a woman needs a man to protect her against other men. Otherwise she would be pregnant by different men all the time. She incentivises a man to protect her by providing sex.

Mothers want to have daughters in part to have the opportunity to buy pretty dresses. They want their daughters to be admired for looking pretty. They are afraid that if girls are not encouraged to wear ‘feminine’ clothes they may grow up to be lesbians. Women want their daughters to be admired for their attractiveness but also to be accustomed to wearing a style of dress that displays their bodies. This is the instinctive drive that women have to present their bodies as attractively as they can. Once girls get the positive feedback of being admired, they are motivated to continue to behaving in the same way.

During adolescence girls start to attract male attention. They buy push-up bras, high-heels, fishnet stockings, pluck their eyebrows, remove leg and underarm hair and, of course, start wearing make-up. All of this is considered quite normal and is almost expected of women today. They enjoy the attention they get. A woman assumes that a man is attracted to her because she is pretty and has a good figure. She is offended if he shows any interest in her genitals. She considers these to be ugly and embarrassing parts of her body. She is disgusted that anyone should be interested in seeing them or touching them.

Girls tend to be sensitive to the need for increased personal hygiene at adolescence. Women need to be more careful about hygiene than men. The opening to the vaginal lies between the urethra and the anus. Parents learn how to wipe baby girls from front to back to ensure that bacteria from the anus do not enter the vagina. There is nothing inherently unclean about the vagina. Women are persuaded to buy vaginal douches in the belief that they need keep the vagina sanitary but it is self- maintaining.

The vagina is very similar to the mouth. A warm and moist place that easily attracts fungal infections such as thrush. Women are advised to wash themselves between the legs thoroughly at least once a day and preferably after defecating. Some smells occur naturally and as long as they are fresh need not be offensive. These smells can be attractive to the opposite sex. Today women often try to cover up their natural smell with cosmetics.

Men are rarely sensitive to the fact that women find genitals and bodily emission offensive. Men are disappointed to find that women are not as willing as men tend to be about offering a partner oral sex. If a man is lucky enough to have a woman willing to perform fellatio for him, he would be well advised to make sure his penis is always scrupulously clean before offering to put it in a woman’s mouth.

Having a boyfriend (and children later on) gives a woman companionship. Many women prefer to attend social gatherings with a partner or children. Young women may be excited by the prospect of their first experience of intercourse. But this excitement is based on a social anticipation rather than specific arousal. They do not masturbate while imagining opportunities for intercourse. A young woman is typically unaware of her own physical arousal (erection). Unlike men, women rarely experience erections and even if they do, they are much less conscious of them.

A girl’s external genitalia are much less apparent than a boy’s. This results in girls referring to ‘down there’. Women often dislike explicit references to genitals and so they use terms such as ‘front bottom’. Such terminology is vague and almost denies the fact that women have sexual anatomy. It is important that girls are provided with an appropriate vocabulary for their sexual anatomy. This will helps them communicate over sexual pleasuring.

A girl has a vulva, including clitoral bud and vaginal opening. The prominent area at the front covered in pubic hair is called the vulva. From front to back the anatomy is first the urethra (opening for urinating), next the clitoris, then the vaginal opening, the perineum and then the anus at the back. The word ‘pussy’ can be used as an equivalent of ‘willie’ for boys. Given women’s aversion to talking about their genitals many of the explicit terms for a woman’s genitals come from men’s vocabulary and are considered obscene by women. Censorship of nudity exists because most women dislike looking at anyone’s genitals up close (even their own).

While these physical changes at adolescence are a fundamental part of the process by which the female becomes mature enough to reproduce, they seem to have little relation to the development of sexual responsiveness in the female. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)

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