Tuesday, May 21, 2019
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Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo

Sex education should present the different moral and social issues that are raised by different behaviours in as unbiased a way as possible. Sex educators should avoid describing sexual behaviours in subjective and judgemental terms as wrong or abnormal. Sex education is about putting behaviours in context. Teenagers should understand that consideration and respect are paramount when they engage in sexual activity with a lover.

Men can be brutal and ruthless. Men protect women and children they love from this harsh reality to some degree. Men are looking for opportunities for penetrative sex. Penetrative sex is the ultimate turn-on and usually provides a man with an easy orgasm. It is generally accepted that a person (male or female) needs to be at least 18 years old before they can deal with this world of aggression and sexual pressure that is generated by men.

Any mating act is a male conquest. The female is subjugated. If a woman is always sexually willing, then there is no conquest. Men enjoy intercourse for the turn-on of penetration, which contributes to making sex erotic and taboo. This is why women rarely appreciate eroticism, which is a male view of intercourse. It is difficult for a woman to appreciate why a man finds this simple and repetitive action (penis thrusting into a vagina) so fascinating.

Intercourse is a territorial act of male dominance. Intercourse makes perfect sense to a man. The biological role of the male is to impregnate a female. But a woman’s sexual role is much less obvious. Sex is something that is done to a woman. Nothing in her mind or body motivates a woman to engage in intercourse. Intercourse allows a woman to assume a passive role focused on accepting her lover’s attentions and facilitating male orgasm.

Penetrative sex involves a penis penetrating another person (vagina or rectum) and thrusting until ejaculation. Only the giver (not the receiver) has an orgasm from intercourse. Sexual activity need not equate to intercourse but when it does the penetrator needs to be highly considerate of his lover.

Penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal intercourse) has a special role in our concept of eroticism. Penetration by a phallus is key to our view of what sex is about. Both sexes may be aroused by the concept of either being the penetrator or being penetrated regardless of sexual orientation. Both men and women can use an artificial phallus to simulate penetration as a turn-on either for themselves or for a lover. Both sexes can be penetrated by a phallus or dildo but only a man can penetrate a lover with his own sex organ.

Sex can be painful for women at certain times. A woman’s vagina may not be adequately lubricated for intercourse to be comfortable. Young women may need to use a water-based lubricant. The action of a man’s groin pounding or grinding into her vulva may cause damage by squashing the delicate skin of her labia. A man may need to vary his thrusting technique or even back off intercourse for a while until a woman has healed up.

Men target young women because they respond more readily to flattery. Initially young women interpret men’s admiration as being flattering. But over time they come to realise that men’s motivations are selfish. Men flatter women because they are hoping for an opportunity for penetrative sex that focuses on their own orgasm. A man doesn’t necessarily want an experienced or proactive lover because he wants to enjoy his own arousal.

A woman only needs to be amenable to intercourse for as long as a man needs to ejaculate. A woman simply has to lie there and wait for the man to finish. A woman has no sexual motivation based on her own responses. She is not aroused by sex play as a man is. When she is in love, it is natural for a woman to reciprocate with affection. Otherwise the decision to move her hips in such a way as to increase penile stimulation is a conscious one based on her desire to end intercourse sooner by encouraging her lover’s orgasm.

Anal intercourse is much less popular among heterosexuals than among gay men. Women’s lack of arousal with a lover means that they have little reason to explore sex play. Some women invest in sex play out of curiosity and to please their lover. Women prefer vaginal intercourse because it is socially acceptable and can be justified morally since it is required for reproduction. Vaginal intercourse requires much less skill on the part of the penetrator since the vagina is designed to be easily penetrated by a penis. Ironically, women also prefer the lack of stimulation provided by vaginal intercourse because it is less explicit erotically and allows them to essentially ignore what a man is doing to their bodies. Male sex drive and women’s desire to leave stimulation to a man, naturally assist with reproduction.

Penetrative sex is driven primarily by a man’s sex drive to penetrate another person’s body (vagina or anus). But the concept of penetration is core to what we consider to be sexual or erotic. Penetration represents the most dangerous, most taboo and yet most exciting of all sexual activity. Even without arousal, the receiver of penetration (by finger or dildo) can experience the sensations of allowing another person to be so intimate.

Heterosexual contacts occur more frequently because they are facilitated by the greater submissiveness of the female and the greater aggressiveness of the male. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)