Learn About Sexuality

Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo

Sex education should present the different moral and social issues that are raised by different behaviours in as unbiased a way as possible. Sex education should avoid judgemental opinions such as ‘wrong’ or ‘abnormal’. Sex education is about putting behaviours in context. Teenagers should understand that when their sexual choices involve interacting with a lover, consideration and respect for others is paramount.

Intercourse is a territorial act of male dominance. Intercourse makes perfect sense to a man. The biological role of the male is to impregnate a female. But a woman’s role in sex is much less obvious. Sex is something that is done to a woman. There is nothing in her mind or body that motivates her to engage in intercourse. Intercourse allows a woman to contribute minimal effort and her role focus on facilitating male orgasm.

Men can be brutal and ruthless. Men protect women and children they love from this harsh reality to some degree. Men are looking for opportunities for penetrative sex. Penetrative sex is the ultimate turn-on and usually provides a man with an easy orgasm. It is generally accepted that a person (male or female) needs to be at least 18 years old before they can deal with this world of aggression and sexual pressure that is generated by men.

Penetrative sex involves a penis penetrating another person (vagina or rectum) and thrusting until ejaculation. Only the giver (not the receiver) has an orgasm from intercourse. Sexual activity need not equate to intercourse but when it does the penetrator needs to be highly considerate.

Any mating act is a male conquest. The female is conquered. If a woman is always sexually willing, then there is no conquest. Men enjoy intercourse for the turn-on of penetration, which makes sex erotic and taboo. This is why women rarely appreciate eroticism, which is based on the male perspective. It is difficult for a woman to appreciate why a man finds this simple and repetitive action (penis thrusting into a vagina) so fascinating.

Penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal intercourse) has a special role in our concept of eroticism. Penetration by a phallus is key to our view of what sex is about. Both sexes may be aroused by the concept of either being the penetrator or being penetrated regardless of sexual orientation. Both men and women can use an artificial phallus to simulate penetration as a turn-on either for themselves or for a lover. Both sexes can receive penetrative sex but only a man can fully penetrate a partner with his own sex organ.

Sex can be painful for women at certain times. A woman’s vagina may not be adequately lubricated for intercourse to be comfortable. Young women may need to use a water-based lubricant. The action of a man’s pelvis pounding or grinding into her vulva may cause damage by squashing the skin of her labia. A man may need to vary his thrusting technique or even back off intercourse for a while until a woman has healed up.

Men target young women because they respond more readily to flattery. Initially young women interpret men’s admiration as being flattering. But over time they come to realise that men’s motivations are selfish. Men flatter women because they are hoping for an opportunity for penetrative sex that focuses on their own orgasm. A man doesn’t necessarily want an experienced or proactive lover because he wants to enjoy his own arousal.

A woman only needs to be amenable to intercourse for as long as a man needs to ejaculate. A woman simply has to lie there and wait for the man to finish. A woman has no sexual motivation based on her own responses. She is not aroused by sex play as a man is. When she is in love, it is natural for a woman to reciprocate with affection. Otherwise the decision to move her hips with her lover’s rhythm or caress his body is a conscious one based on her desire to pleasure her lover as well as to speed up male orgasm.

Anal intercourse is much less popular among heterosexuals than among gay men. Women’s lack of arousal with a lover means that they have little reason to explore sex play (except as a means of giving pleasure). Women prefer vaginal intercourse because it is socially acceptable and can be justified on the basis of reproduction. Vaginal intercourse requires much less skill on the part of the penetrator since the vagina is designed to be easily penetrated by a penis.

Heterosexual contacts occur more frequently because they are facilitated by the greater submissiveness of the female and the greater aggressiveness of the male. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)

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