Learn About Sexuality

Penetration is what makes sex erotic and taboo

Sex education should present in as unbiased a way as possible the different moral and social issues that are raised by different behaviours. Sex education should avoid judgemental opinions such as ‘wrong’ or ‘abnormal’. Sex education is about putting behaviours in context. Teenagers need to understand that when their sexual choices involve interacting with other people, they must take into account the feelings and desires of others. Consideration and respect for others is paramount.

At the most fundamental level women do not appreciate sexual activity of any kind. The most natural activity for a woman is kissing because it involves emotional sensations. But if she has no feelings of attachment to a man, then even kissing has no attraction. A woman is not only indifferent but also revolted by the idea of physical intimacy with someone she is not attracted to. Anyone who says otherwise is basing their opinion on erotic fiction. They cannot explain rape or sexual harassment with any logic.

Intercourse is a territorial act of male dominance. The mating act makes perfect sense to a man. The biological role of the male is to impregnate a female. A woman’s role in sex is much less obvious than a man’s. A man clearly has to have an erection, penetrate his lover and thrust until ejaculation. Sex is something that is done to a woman. There is nothing in her mind or body that motivates her to engage in an act of mating. She has no aroused sex organ, no sex drive and no mental arousal at the prospect of sex. This is why women are so modest and embarrassed by sex.

A woman has only to be amenable to the act with a man she loves and be willing to accept intercourse for as long as a man needs to ejaculate. A woman simply has to lie there and wait for the man to be done. The role of employing behaviours to actively engage on the man’s enjoyment of the act is an artificial one. When there is love it is more natural for a woman to reciprocate with affection. Otherwise the decision to move her hips with her lover’s rhythm or caress his body is a conscious one based on her desire to pleasure her lover and also to speed up male orgasm.

A woman is assumed to have the maturity to understand the significance of sexual activity and the associated risks. Some women have a better instinctive understanding of these issues than others. A woman is expected to know that intercourse may result in her becoming pregnant if she doesn’t take precautions (use a contraceptive). A woman learns how she can use sex to obtain a man’s commitment to her. Women typically want family but also financial support from men. Men tend to be very willing to support a woman financially as long as they are getting regular intercourse.

Men like to target young women because they respond more readily to flattery. Initially young women interpret men’s admiration as being flattering. But over time they come to realise that men’s motivations are selfish. Men flatter women because they are hoping for an opportunity for penetrative sex that focuses on their own orgasm. Men are attracted to women who are docile and socially amenable because this is an indication of their sexual amenability.

Sex can be painful for women at certain times. A woman’s vagina may not be adequately lubricated for intercourse to be comfortable. Young women may need to use a water-based lubricant. The action of a man’s pelvis pounding or grinding into her vulva may cause damage by squashing the skin of her labia. A man may need to vary his thrusting technique or even back off intercourse for a while until a woman has healed up.

Men want intercourse regardless of what a woman wants so they are naturally insensitive to the female perspective. Men insist, heckle, ogle or flash and are satisfied with women’s reactions of disgust, anger or embarrassment. It may not deter them too much. Other men are more sensitive and cover up their interest to avoid embarrassment.

The only time that men should feel guilty is when they use their sexual urges against an unwilling person. Sadly, this is an almost inevitable part of being male. But a man hopes for sexual opportunities with a willing partner. If he waited for a woman to be enthusiastic then he would wait for ever. So the male role involves taking the initiative and attempting intercourse almost regardless of the woman’s response.

Penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal intercourse) has a special role in our concept of eroticism. Penetration by a penis or similar object is key to our view of what sex is about. Both sexes may be aroused by the concept of either being the penetrator or being penetrated regardless of sexual orientation. Both men and women can use an artificial phallus to simulate penetration as a turn-on either for themselves or for a lover. Both sexes can receive penetrative sex but only a man can fully penetrate a partner with his own sex organ.

Heterosexual contacts occur more frequently because they are facilitated by the greater submissiveness of the female and the greater aggressiveness of the male. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)

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