Sunday, April 21, 2019
Home Intellectual aspects of sexuality Masturbation How we know that female masturbation is rare

How we know that female masturbation is rare

Kinsey concluded that masturbation was not only the quickest way for a woman to orgasm (4 minutes on average) but also the most reliable way (95% success rate). He used female masturbation to define female orgasm.

Kinsey found that only 20% of women masturbated regularly. Yet he concluded that masturbation was the most reliable means for a woman to achieve orgasm. There are many ways of demonstrating that women do not orgasm with a lover and therefore that women often mistake orgasm. That makes a maximum of 20% of women who may know how to orgasm.

The percentage of women who do truly orgasm is likely to be much lower than this in the general population. Kinsey’s sample was heavily biased towards more educated women. It is likely that such women read more than others and are more likely to learn how to use erotic fantasies for arousal (if they respond to positively to eroticism). He also noted the tendency among the less educated to consider masturbation a perversion. Kinsey found that two out of every five women (42%) never masturbate while a similar number (38%) try masturbation but are not motivated to continue.

These are women confident enough to come forward and talk about orgasm in surveys. Women’s reluctance to discuss sexual phenomena suggests that female masturbation is much less common than this. Reading Shere Hite’s book is a tremendous relief to any woman who masturbates. Her work is the only evidence that women orgasm easily alone but that they cannot achieve the same thing with a lover. The fact that her book is largely unknown is evidence that few women masturbate.

Masturbation clinics encourage women to feel better about their bodies. When a woman feels better about her body, she may be more amenable to having sex. It is not possible to teach someone how to orgasm. These clinics are run by women who have no idea what is involved in orgasm or masturbation. We cannot learn how to become responsive. Our responsiveness is determined at birth and is typically a male characteristic.

If many women stimulate themselves with a male lover, then it seems strange that so few men are aware of how and when female orgasm is possible. If women were familiar with orgasm, they would know that the clitoris is the female sex organ and the source of a woman’s orgasm.

Most women dislike explicit references to genitals and so they say ‘front bottom’ or ‘down there’ by which they mean anywhere between their clitoris and their anus. Most women also dislike references to explicit genital stimulation including masturbation. They consider the clitoris to be too sexually explicit for a heterosexual woman. Most women associate the vagina, clitoris and female orgasm with pornography and male fantasies.

Women never comment on the different stimulation techniques and anatomy that are supposed to cause female orgasm. If women knew how to masturbate themselves to orgasm, then more women would realise that intercourse does not cause female orgasm. Also their lovers would realise. Heterosexual women associate clitoral stimulation with lesbians because they assume gay women enjoy more explicit genital sex play.

Shere Hite listed a variety of positions that women reported using during masturbation. Only 5% of the women in her sample who masturbated, did so by lying on their front. This means that the rest (the vast majority) were not actually achieving orgasm. Kinsey noted the technique of lying face down and thrusting with the hips, which only related to a few of the women who said that they masturbated. Kinsey also commented that many women do not use fantasy. Clearly many women are not masturbating to orgasm.

Men enjoy exploring a lover’s body. Gay men talk of sweaty smells, nutty taste of semen, glistening glans, trickle of pre-cum, silky skin of the penis and the hairy skin of the testicles. Rather than exploring a lover’s body, women talk about what a lover is doing to them. Women enjoy a man’s voice, his caressing touch and what they interpret as his passion. These are sensual pleasures not erotic stimuli. Most women insist that lovemaking is superior to self-stimulation because they never appreciate that masturbation relies on achieving arousal through the use of fantasy.

Women who masturbate to orgasm, understand the need for a source of eroticism. Although they don’t respond to pornography in the way that men do, they may be more understanding of men’s need for an arousal mechanism in the absence of a partner. Women who masturbate to orgasm do not talk about their fantasies because these are private and taboo. But also there are so many women who are disgusted by masturbation. Even without mentioning sex directly, there are signs that indicate a person’s attitude towards eroticism. Most women ignore any reference to sex, which is a clear sign that they will not be receptive to discussing orgasm.

Also because of its small size and the limited protrusion of the clitoris, many males do not understand that it may be as important a center for stimulation for females as the penis is for males. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)