Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of sexual anatomy, reproduction and responsiveness. Sex is foremost about the mating act we see in Nature. Intercourse involves a man thrusting into a woman’s vagina until he ejaculates. Most women need to feel an emotional attachment before they are amenable to offering a man an opportunity for penetration.
Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of consent, the mating act and the value of non-sexual intimacy. Men associate sex with eroticism and sexual pleasure while women associate sex with a loving relationship and family. These different perspectives arise because men have much higher levels of responsiveness than women have, especially with a lover.
Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of our enjoyment of sexual fantasies, masturbation and how orgasm is achieved regardless of gender and orientation. Very few women experience responsiveness, which occurs when the mind responds positively to erotic stimuli. Responsive women discover orgasm by focusing on surreal fantasies while masturbating alone.
Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of intimate relationships, the sex industry and sexual pleasuring. For men, intercourse is an erotic act that provides their sexual release and pleasure. Some men engage in foreplay to extend their own arousal. A woman interprets lovemaking as a demonstration of a man’s sexual admiration and his commitment to her.
A comprehensive sex education should expose the emotional beliefs that cause many people to prefer sexual ignorance over sexual knowledge. Men are typically intent on confirming their fantasies, which constitute a justification for sex. Some women insist on being portrayed in way that is attractive to men. The highly emotional nature of sex makes it difficult to accept facts and logic even when these indicate that our intuition is wrong.
Our society provides almost no sex education. Yet most adults assume they know everything about sexuality. We base our opinions on our interpretation of our own experiences as well as what we read in erotic fiction. Everyone wants to claim experiences that bolster their ego. But we need to differentiate between erotic responses and emotional sensations.
No one ever talks about their sexual experiences. Our so-called sexual knowledge is based almost entirely on erotic fiction. Our confidence in our ignorance is reinforced by the bravado of others. But this is a closed loop. We all repeat and assume what everyone else repeats and assumes. Yet we have the impression that we know all there is to know. The magazine articles we glance at occasionally regurgitate the same old wives’ tales.
We rely on so-called sex experts not because they have special knowledge or experience but simply because they are willing to talk about sex in public.
Incredibly it is assumed everyone has the intellect, experience & emotional detachment needed to understand sexuality. It is assumed that because most people have sex, that everyone understands what they are doing and why. This is like saying that we all have to eat so, of course, everyone has a knowledge of nutrition and the culinary skills to prepare healthy meals.
If sex education is to fulfil its purpose, then it needs to provide logical and factual explanations. If it is to be trusted, a sex education must present both the negative and the positive aspects of sexuality in a constructive way. A sex education provides consistent explanations in terms of the research findings as well as the biological precedents. It puts human sexuality in perspective relative to other animals, especially mammals and primates. It indicates which aspects of sexuality are usual and which are less common.
We can demonstrate an unbiased view by presenting:
- The research findings including a discussion of the issues that may have caused us to draw the wrong conclusions;
- The biological and evolutionary precedents for sexual function;
- How and why men and women’s sexual behaviours differ; and
- How orgasm is achieved regardless of sex and orientation.
Sex information needs to be objective to gain as wide an audience as possible. It must be constructive. It needs to present the different perspectives of men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals, in such a way as to fairly represent both sides rather than distorting the facts.
Learn About Sexuality presents the facts and logical reasoning to explain our sexual behaviours and responses. This book provides parents, teachers adults and children with the appropriate material to build an understanding of some of the sexual issues that may arise throughout our lives.
The scientist who investigates sexual behaviour seems under especial obligation to make his findings available to the maximum number of persons, for there are few aspects of human biology with which more persons are more often concerned. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)