Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of sexual anatomy, reproduction and responsiveness. Everyone has a phallus but only a man can enjoy the pleasures of penetrating a lover. Men orgasm much more commonly and more frequently than women. Men associate sex with erotic pleasure while most women associate sex with a relationship and family.
Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of consent, the mating act and the value of non-sexual intimacy. Sex is foremost about the mating act we see in Nature. Intercourse is a demonstration of a man’s virility and his arousal cycle (from erection to ejaculation). Women typically need to feel an emotional attachment for a lover before sexual activity feels appropriate.
Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of our enjoyment of sexual fantasies, masturbation and how orgasm is achieved regardless of gender and orientation. Very few women have the innate ability to respond to erotic stimuli in a way that causes arousal and makes orgasm possible. Responsive women discover orgasm by focusing on fantasies during masturbating alone.
Understanding sexuality includes a discussion of intimate relationships, the sex industry and sexual pleasuring. For men, intercourse is an erotic act that provides their sexual release and pleasure. Some men engage in foreplay to extend their own arousal. A woman may interpret male lovemaking as a demonstration of a man’s sexual admiration and his commitment to her.
A sex education includes an appreciation of the sex research that has been done as well as the evidence we can use to interpret these findings. By applying some common sense, we can appreciate some of the issues that led to the wrong conclusions. We need to take sexual politics into account as well as the sexual fantasies and assumptions that are promoted as facts.
We cannot legislate education in the sense of insisting that everyone agrees on the facts and logic. Education depends on the individual’s ability to accept the conclusions of others. Regardless of our own personal experiences, anyone can benefit from a sex education. It helps protect us from being intimidated or confidence-tricked by others in sexual scenarios.
If it is to be trusted, sex information should present both the negative and the positive aspects of sexuality in a constructive way. Sex education needs to present an unbiased picture of the different perspectives of men and women, heterosexuals and homosexuals, in such a way as to fairly represent both sides. Sex information should be objective and clearly expressed (avoiding slang and medical jargon) to gain as wide an audience as possible.
Our society provides no sex education. The magazine articles, we glance at occasionally, regurgitate the same old wives’ tales. We rely on so-called sex experts not because they have special knowledge or experience but just because so few people willing to talk about sex in public. Given the universal silence from women over sex and even though faking is a catchword for women who reassure men’s ego, no one questions the sexual bravado.
No one ever talks honestly and explicitly about their sexual experiences. Our so-called sexual knowledge is based almost entirely on erotic fiction. Our confidence in our ignorance is reinforced by the bravado of others. But this is a closed loop. We all repeat and assume what everyone else repeats and assumes. Yet we have the impression that we know all there is to know.
It is assumed that because most people have sex, that everyone understands what they are doing and why. This is like saying that we all have to eat so, of course, everyone has a knowledge of nutrition and the culinary skills to prepare a healthy meal. We base our opinions on our interpretation of our own experiences. Incredibly it is assumed everyone has the intellect, experience and emotional detachment needed to understand sexuality. An objective researcher differs considerably from the uninformed consumer.
A comprehensive sex education should expose the emotional beliefs that cause many people to prefer sexual ignorance over sexual knowledge. Men are typically intent on confirming their fantasies, which constitute a justification for sex. Some women insist on being portrayed in way that is attractive to men. The highly emotional nature of sex makes it difficult to accept facts and logic even when these indicate that our intuition is wrong.
Learn About Sexuality presents the precedents for responsiveness, explanations for men and women’s behaviours together with a discussion of why the research findings have been misinterpreted. It puts our sexuality in perspective relative to other animals, especially mammals and primates. Learn About Sexuality differentiates between the behaviours that women employ to arouse men and orgasm, which occurs (when the erectile organ is stimulated) as an instinctive mental response to erotic stimuli. The book and website provide parents, teachers, adults and children with the appropriate material to build an understanding of some of the sexual issues associated with intimate relationships that may arise throughout our lives.
The scientist who investigates sexual behaviour seems under especial obligation to make his findings available to the maximum number of persons, for there are few aspects of human biology with which more persons are more often concerned. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)