Few people seem to appreciate the need to differentiate between sex education and erotic fiction. Evidence is critical to any scientific understanding of a subject. There are no research findings that indicate that women orgasm with a lover. The research indicates that female orgasm is primarily associated with a woman masturbating alone. The belief that a woman should orgasm with a lover is simply an assumption. And it’s wrong!
We see vibrators advertised everywhere and women eulogising about the orgasms they think they have. But this is not a statistical sample. The millions of women who never buy a vibrator or buy one and find it does nothing for them are never heard. This is the difference between personal opinions and true scientific research based on statistical sampling methods.
Some people suggest that generalisations are useless because they are not always true. For example, we can say that men are generally taller than women. This is a generalisation but it is also a fact. Generalisations can be useful if we understand that there are exceptions. Statistical research is useful because it gives us an idea of what activities or experiences are usual. But if we don’t have the average experience, it doesn’t make us abnormal.
The value in using sampling techniques (to ensure that the sample is representative of the general population), is that the finding can be applied to a much bigger population than the original sample. However, conclusions can only be extended to the population if the research is based on individuals who are selected in a way that creates a representative sample.
By asking women about orgasm, both Kinsey and Hite revealed some of the truth about women’s sexuality. These findings challenged male beliefs about how and when women should orgasm. So the approach was quickly abandoned. The idea that female orgasm occurs during masturbation alone (rather than with a lover) was unpopular. Most women are not responsive so masturbation holds little interest for them. They prefer to rely on a lover to provide all the motivation and stimulation involved in sexual activity.
Kinsey’s research was unpopular for many reasons. The research highlighting the clitoris (which was obviously considered to be a dead end), was ignored by the public. Few women have any use for the clitoris. Even a responsive woman cannot orgasm with a lover. A few men (the more educated) invest in cunnilingus in the hope of pleasuring a woman.
Experts today quote from Alfred Kinsey’s work by asserting that 10% of women never orgasm by any means. They also quote from Shere Hite’s work by reassuring us that only 30% of women orgasm from intercourse. No one explains why the rest of their findings have been ignored.
People seem to think that sex research should always be current. They believe that human sexuality changes from generation to generation, which of course it does not. Each new generation returns to the ignorance of their ancestors but the facts should be made available for those who value them. There has been no research done on the same scale since Kinsey. No one is even willing to fund the same kind of research. This is a travesty that should be rectified. The respect needs to be put back into sex research.
Modern sex research makes no attempt to indicate the relevance of findings to the whole population. There is no justification of the qualifications of the researchers, of the political or scientific aims of the funders of the research, of the way in which the sample is selected or the size of the sample. Findings from tiny random samples are promoted as if they apply to everyone.
Above all else, people want to find this elusive technique that must transform intercourse from an indifferent to an orgasmic act for women. The G-spot provided a very simple explanation, with some superficial guidance that could be used to reassure people that this goal was achievable.
Women continue to think they are supposed to orgasm with a lover through vaginal or clitoral stimulation (or both) but there are no research findings to support this assumption. Whether women explain their orgasms in terms of the vagina or the clitoris it makes little difference. Researchers assume that women must participate in sexual activity because of their own arousal. Yet few women show any interest in sexual fantasies or even erotic fiction. Most women are embarrassed or disgusted by any references to eroticism.
Women do not respond to real-world erotic stimuli (such as nudity) that indicate an opportunity to penetrate another person. They don’t have sufficient responsiveness to experience orgasm as reliably as a man nor an urge to penetrate (sex drive). A few women enjoy orgasm as a hangover from the way that the sexes have evolved. Women have a smaller and less responsive phallus (the clitoris) and a residual thrusting instinct. Women orgasm by emulating the male role in intercourse. Psychologically this puts them in the position of being the male penetrator. The mental mechanism is therefore a surreal fantasy where the woman acts as the penetrator.
… the mysterious G-spot … I found it irresponsible to claim the existence of an entity that has never been proven, using in some cases a cohort of just 30 women worldwide. (Andrea Burri 2011)