Children of both sexes are indifferent to genitals. They may be mildly curious but they consider genitals to be ugly and smelly parts of the body. At puberty, the increase in male responsiveness causes young men to be fascinated by genitals. For women the connotations from childhood continue into adulthood because women are not responsive as men are.
Men are aroused by nude images. A man is aroused by nudity because he associates it with an opportunity for intercourse. Gay male porn has little impact on society. But images of women aimed at heterosexual men are everywhere. The objective of male arousal is to make intercourse possible. A woman can engage in intercourse without being aroused so there is no reason for her to enjoy looking at a penis. Neither is a man aroused by a clitoris. He may stimulate it because he has been given information. He does not do so instinctively as he does with vaginal stimulation. A man’s focus on the vagina arises because of the pleasures of penetration.
When a woman is taken by surprise by a strange man (a flasher) displaying his penis, she screams and runs away. This is clear evidence that women are not aroused by an erect penis. Women consider genitals of either sex to be ugly, hairy and smelly. They are clearly not aroused by them. Yet a few women on the internet claim to be aroused by sexual anatomy. There is no logical reason nor any biological justification for a woman to be aroused by a penis or a vagina. A woman is never a penetrator in real life.
Most heterosexual men would be interested in observing naked women if they could do so undetected. Men who spy on women are called Peeping Toms. There is no female equivalent. Women consider this behaviour perverted. Women may be mildly curious to see male nudity if they feel safe from male advances. Men and women use different toilets because women feel uncomfortable thinking that a man might be masturbating himself while watching her relieve herself. Men can enjoy watching a woman urinate because of the view of her genitals. The activity is significant to them.
With a lover, a woman has to engage on explicit genital stimulation with a fully conscious and unaroused mind. A woman experiences no mental arousal with a lover so such situations are social rather than erotic. There is no attraction for her in doing so. She feels the reverse. If she wants to pleasure a partner, a woman does so against her natural instincts. Apart from a woman’s desire to share intimacy (love for a partner), there is no reason why she should please her lover any more than a complete stranger.
Most women are embarrassed to name their genitals and sexual anatomy, often considering them to be dirty. Many women prefer to use an applicator to insert a tampon rather than a finger, to avoid touching their genitals. During childbirth a woman’s skin can tear from the vagina to the anus. Because of embarrassment women often fail to ensure that these tears are dealt with properly and that they heal satisfactorily. Older women often suffer from bowel and bladder incontinence as a result of childbirth damage. Not only are they too embarrassed to ask a lover to look for them but they are not even motivated to use a mirror to look at their genitals. This aversion to genitals is inbuilt and not the result of upbringing or attitudes.
Men refer to the honeypot to reflect their enjoyment of the pleasure a vagina can provide. Women don’t have similar terms of endearment for the penis. It is sometimes called the one-eyed snake because of the opening to the ureter (where urine comes out) in the centre of the glans. Male lovers of men describe fellatio and male ejaculation enthusiastically in graphic terms. Women are repulsed rather than attracted to body function (noises and smells) as men are. Gay men use rimming, stimulating a lover’s anus with the tongue. Deep rimming involves inserting the tongue deep into a lover’s anus. Filching involves ejaculating into a lover’s rectum followed by sucking out and swallowing the semen. Women do not talk of erotic turn-ons.
Men enjoy talking about pussy juices. Others are turned-on by the idea of a woman urinating. This may be where the male fantasy of female ejaculation comes from. Women are not similarly fascinated by a lover’s ejaculation. After intercourse, a man’s ejaculate flows out of the woman’s vagina leaving a wet and sticky patch. This is on the woman’s side of the bed because it is the man who moves and puts himself on top of her. A woman has to run to the bathroom (cupping her hand to catch any drips) to wash her genitals. She takes no delight in this. It is merely a distasteful inconvenience.
Heterosexual eroticism is defined by images of women’s breasts and buttocks clad in bikinis and revealing clothing. There are no similar images of men. But if women were aroused by men’s bodies, they would comment openly in daily life. Straight men can enjoy lesbian sex play because they are aroused by female nudity. If women were aroused as men are, they would create demand for images of male nudity rather than being offended by them. Male homosexual porn would be freely distributed. Men would also display their sexual attributes for women to enjoy as a turn-on.
But in all this quantity of pornographic production it is exceedingly difficult to find any material that has been produced by females. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)