Friday, July 19, 2019
Home Intellectual aspects of sexuality The sexual mind Men are aroused by seeing & stimulating genitals

Men are aroused by seeing & stimulating genitals

Most heterosexual men would be interested in observing naked women as long as they could do so undetected. Men who spy on women are called Peeping Toms. There is no female equivalent. Women do not ogle naked men so they consider this behaviour perverted. Women may be mildly curious to see male nudity if they feel safe from male advances. Men and women use different toilets because women feel uncomfortable thinking that a man might be masturbating himself while watching her relieve herself.

As a child there are no vaginal discharges and a woman is unaware of her internal reproductive anatomy. At adolescence, vaginal discharges begin. Some are healthy but others arise from infections such as thrush. These discharges mark and stain a woman’s underwear, which a woman finds very embarrassing. A woman considers her monthly period to be an unclean and distasteful body function that is often associated with unpleasant smells. She hides any view of her menstrual blood flow from others, including her lover, because she views the whole process as very unattractive. For this reason, women are appalled by some men’s fascination with women’s underwear.

Most women are embarrassed to name their genitals and sexual anatomy, often considering them to be dirty. Many women prefer to use an applicator to insert a tampon rather than a finger, to avoid touching their genitals. During childbirth a woman’s skin can tear from the vagina to the anus. Because of embarrassment women often fail to ensure that these tears are dealt with properly and that they heal satisfactorily. Older women often suffer from bowel and bladder incontinence as a result of childbirth damage. Not only are they too embarrassed to ask a lover to look for them but they are not even motivated to use a mirror to look at their genitals. This aversion to genitals is inbuilt and not the result of upbringing or attitudes.

Men refer to the honeypot to reflect their enjoyment of the pleasure a vagina can provide. Women don’t have similar terms of endearment for the penis. It is sometimes called the one-eyed snake because of the opening to the ureter (where urine comes out) in the centre of the glans. Male lovers of men describe fellatio and male ejaculation enthusiastically and in explicitly graphic terms. Women do not refer to explicit erotic turn-ons of any kind.

Straight men can enjoy lesbian sex play because they are aroused by female nudity. Heterosexual eroticism is defined by images of women’s breasts and buttocks clad in bikinis and revealing clothing. There are no similar images of men. When a man sexually appraises a woman’s body, she cannot retaliate. She is helpless because women (even lesbians) are not aroused by body parts as men are. Women experience emotional (not sexual) attraction to a lover because they feel a nurturing affection for a lover.

Men enjoy talking about pussy juices. Others are turned-on by the idea of a woman urinating, typically over their testicles during intercourse. This is very likely where the male fantasy of female ejaculation comes from. Women are not similarly fascinated by their own discharges or a lover’s ejaculation. If a woman remains lying down after intercourse, semen flows onto the sheets creating a wet patch, which is sticky to lie in. So a woman runs to the bathroom (cupping her hand to catch any drips) to wash her genitals. She takes no delight in this. It is merely a distasteful inconvenience.

Women are repulsed rather than attracted to body function (noises and smells) as men are. Men can enjoy watching a woman urinate because of the view of her genitals. The activity is significant to them. Gay men use rimming, stimulating a lover’s anus with the tongue. Deep rimming involves inserting the tongue deep into a lover’s anus. Filching involves ejaculating into a lover’s rectum followed by sucking out and swallowing the semen.

If women were aroused by nudity as men are, they would create demand for images of male nudity. Gay men are aroused by images of male nudity. Male homosexual images are circulated only within the gay community. Women are offended by images of male nudity. If women enjoyed the same images, then male homosexual porn would be freely distributed. But also men would display their sexual attributes for women to enjoy as a turn-on.

With a lover, a woman has to engage on explicit genital stimulation with a fully conscious and unaroused mind. There is no attraction for her in doing so. In fact, she feels the reverse. She has an aversion to offering explicit genital stimulation. The genitals are ugly, hairy and sometimes smelly. If she wants to pleasure a partner, she has does so against her natural instincts to avoid such contact. Some women either have no motivation to please a lover or cannot overcome their feelings of aversion to genital stimulation. This is completely normal and natural. A woman experiences no mental arousal with a lover so such situations are social rather than erotic. Apart from her emotional feelings of intimacy (love for a partner), there is no reason why she should please her lover any more than a complete stranger.

But in all this quantity of pornographic production it is exceedingly difficult to find any material that has been produced by females. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)