Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Home Social aspects of sexuality Explaining men & women’s sexual behaviours

Explaining men & women’s sexual behaviours

Sexual behaviours refer to the way in which we behave in sexual scenarios. Sexual behaviours include enhancing attractiveness, being sexually proactive and our willingness to pleasure a lover. Some behaviours are determined by our responsiveness or, in the case of women, our lack of responsiveness. Other behaviours are a result of our conscious decisions that can be affected by personality, culture and fashion. Behaviours are more strongly influenced by sex than by orientation. This is because our sex affects our responsiveness but orientation has nothing to do with responsiveness. We can differentiate between groups of people such as men and women or gays and heterosexuals according to their sexual behaviours.

Men initiate most heterosexual activity including dating and intercourse. Men seek out sources of eroticism to enjoy their own arousal. The vast majority of men masturbate regularly. Men’s bravado involves boasting about the number of sexual opportunities and partners they have had. Men exhibit a much greater range of sexual perversions and deviancies than women do. Men are responsible for the vast majority of sexual abuse, sexual assault and rape. Men are paedophiles, they have fetishes, etc.

A man approaches sexual activity with a lover intent on intercourse. This means men’s arousal cycle, from erection to ejaculation, is centre stage. So men are highly sensitive about their ability to achieve and maintain an erection as well as engage in sexual activity without ejaculating too soon. A man’s erection signifies his virility and ability to impregnate a woman.

Men hope for a lover who contributes enthusiastically to the couple’s intimate time together: sharing fantasies, adventurous sex play and affection. As far as men are concerned, sex is just one of the simple pleasures of life. Men are much more interested in the variations in a lover’s genitals and sexual attributes. They also enjoy experiencing a variety of approaches and sexual techniques. None of these aspects of sexual activity hold any interest for women because women are not aroused by real-world erotic stimuli.

Men are taught that their role is to protect women. Once they find a lover they may feel naturally motivated to protect a woman who provides them with so much pleasure. Women look for this protection as an emotional reassurance. Women’s preference for a rich or powerful lover is part of this need to feel protected. Men do not look for the same reassurance from women. Men want reassurance through sex. A woman uses intercourse to keep a man dedicated to her. This female behaviour together with male responsiveness are crucial to human reproduction. Men assume women must enjoy intercourse as an erotic pleasure. This male fantasy allows women to provide faked evidence of the responsiveness that is vital to men.

Men’s emotions (aggressive behaviour) and emotional needs (sex) are easy for a woman to understand. Men are much less aware of women’s emotional needs. Women’s reward is caring for those they love. Sex provides a woman with a means of rewarding a man. Women use the conscious sexual behaviours of being willing to provide male turn-ons by the way they present themselves, by what they say and how they behave.

Women like a man for his experience. Women value the security he can provide. Men prefer girls for their inexperience. Women never develop the coarse hair, skin & firm muscle tone of adult men. They remain and look very much still like children when they are young women. Women enhance their attractiveness by accentuating their vulnerability and docility (precarious shoes, long hair and big baby eyes). A man assumes that more timid women will be more easily persuaded to accept his sexual advances.

Mothers often dislike the idea of teenage (or adult) children having sex in their home. The idea of sexual activity is offensive to them unless it is linked to the commitment of a serious relationship. Women seem to require sexual activity to occur in the context of an emotional connection. Once she is married, a woman engages in sexual activity in the privacy of her own home. There are no observers and her participation can be implicit rather than being explicitly acknowledged to the world. This reflects the shame many women feel over the trade between offering sex and having a family.

A few women boast about orgasm because they enjoy the attention they get. They enjoy feeling superior by intimidating other women. Women rarely provide explicit details and they never talk of turn-ons. They are offended if asked for more detailed. They suggest that anyone interested in the details must be a pervert. Even sex professionals refer to a text book or an expert.

The evidence for female responsiveness comes, not from one woman’s orgasm claims, but from the behaviour of women in the general population. For example, some women claim to be aroused by porn but they never refer to explicit turn-ons. If women were aroused by porn then they would also generate demand for male strip-bars and male lap-dancing bars. They would heckle and cat-call men in the street. Women don’t do this because men are much more willing. It is men who need to chase women.

Girls do not discuss sexual activities as freely or as frequently as boys do. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)