Home Social aspects of sexuality Explaining men & women’s sexual behaviours

Explaining men & women’s sexual behaviours

Sexual behaviours refer to the way in which we behave in sexual scenarios. Sexual behaviours include enhancing attractiveness, being sexually proactive and our willingness to pleasure a lover. Some behaviours are determined by our responsiveness or, in the case of women, our lack of responsiveness. Other behaviours are a result of our conscious decisions that can be affected by personality, culture and fashion. Behaviours are more strongly influenced by sex than by orientation. This is because our sex affects our responsiveness but orientation has nothing to do with responsiveness. We can differentiate between groups of people such as men and women or gays and heterosexuals according to their sexual behaviours.

From puberty onwards young men tend to focus on enjoying their arousal. While young women tend to focus on their attractiveness. Throughout their lives men tend to focus on opportunities for regular sex. Young women may focus on sex for a time as a means of attracting a mate but over time women often become focused on family. Male homosexuality focuses on casual sex, often with many partners. Lesbianism focuses on longer-term relationships.

The evidence for female responsiveness comes, not from one woman’s orgasm claims, but from the behaviour of women in the general population. For example, some women claim to be aroused by porn but they never refer to explicit turn-ons. If women were aroused by porn then they would also generate demand for male strip-bars and male lap-dancing bars. They would heckle and cat-call men in the street. Women don’t do this because men are much more sexually willing. It is men who need to chase women.

Men initiate most heterosexual activity including dating and intercourse. Men seek out sources of eroticism to enjoy their own arousal. The vast majority of men masturbate regularly. Men’s bravado involves boasting about the number of sexual opportunities and partners they have had. Men exhibit a much greater range of sexual perversions and deviancies than women ever do. Men are paedophiles. Men have fetishes. Men can rape. Men are responsible for the vast majority of sexual abuse and sexual assault.

Men tend to be the proactive agent in any sexual encounter. Women are naturally sexually passive with a lover. They are often unsure when asked about orgasm with a lover. Research shows that women’s orgasm claims do not result in more sex for men. Women have varying degrees of sexual willingness depending on personality and culture. Women drive the need for dating and romance. They are often disappointed with casual sex.

Men hope for a lover who contributes enthusiastically to the couple’s intimate time together: sharing fantasies, adventurous sex play and affection. As far as men are concerned, sex is just one of the simple pleasures of life. Men are much more interested in the variations in a lover’s genitals and sexual attributes. They also enjoy experiencing a variety of approaches and sexual techniques. None of these aspects of sexual activity hold any interest for women because women are not aroused by real-world erotic stimuli.

Once a man finds a lover, he may be motivated to protect a woman who provides him with so much pleasure. Women look for this protection as an emotional reassurance. Women’s preference for a rich or powerful lover is part of this need to feel protected. Men do not look for the same reassurance from women. Men want reassurance through sex. A woman uses intercourse to keep a man dedicated to her. This female behaviour together with male responsiveness are crucial to human reproduction. Men assume women enjoy intercourse as an erotic pleasure. This male fantasy allows women to fake the evidence of responsiveness that is vital to men.

Women like a man for his experience. Women value the security he can provide. Men prefer girls for their inexperience. Women never develop the coarse hair, skin & firm muscle tone of adult men. They remain and look very much still like children when they are young women. Women enhance their attractiveness by accentuating their vulnerability and docility (precarious shoes, long hair and big baby eyes). A man assumes that more timid women will be more easily persuaded to accept his sexual advances.

A woman offers her body to a man to give him the pleasure he wants. When a woman leaves a man’s bedroom, she may feel awkward on encountering another woman. Women are much more embarrassed about their sexual role and prefer sex to be a private act within a committed relationship. A man can be made to feel ashamed of his sexual activities (by a woman for example) but he feels no natural shame because of the pleasure he enjoys.

Mothers often dislike the idea of teenage (or adult) children having sex in their home. The idea of sexual activity is offensive to them unless it is linked to the commitment of a serious relationship. Women seem to require sexual activity to occur in the context of an emotional connection. Once she is married, a woman engages in sexual activity in the privacy of her own home. There are no observers and her participation can be implicit rather than being explicitly acknowledged to the world. This reflects the shame many women feel over the trade between offering sex and having a family.

Girls do not discuss sexual activities as freely or as frequently as boys do. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)