Men and women behave very differently in sexual scenarios. The key behaviours include male promiscuity, women’s focus on relationships and women’s sexual passivity. Men focus on obtaining sexual opportunities. Women focus on attracting a partner to get the companionship and support they need. These behaviours provide crucial evidence for human sexuality.
Sexual behaviours include enhancing attractiveness, being sexually proactive and our willingness to pleasure a lover. Behaviours are more strongly influenced by sex than by orientation. This is because our sex affects our responsiveness but orientation has nothing to do with responsiveness. We can differentiate between groups of people such as men and women or gays and heterosexuals according to their sexual behaviours.
Some behaviours are determined by our responsiveness. Others are a result of conscious decisions that are influenced by personality and culture. Men’s behaviour with a lover reflects their responsiveness. Men’s focus on obtaining the turn-ons and stimulation they need, their proactiveness (including initiating sexual activity) as well as their refusal to continue sexual activity once they have ejaculated are all evidence that men orgasm with a lover. Women’s behaviour with a lover reflects their lack of responsiveness. Women’s willingness to assist with male orgasm (rather than achieve their own), female sexual passivity, and women’s ability to continue sexual activity until male orgasm are all evidence that women don’t orgasm with a lover.
Men initiate most heterosexual activity including dating and intercourse. Men seek out sources of eroticism to enjoy their own arousal. The vast majority of men masturbate regularly. Men’s bravado involves boasting about the number of sexual opportunities and partners they have had. Men exhibit sexual perversions and deviancies. Men are paedophiles. Men have fetishes. Men are responsible for the vast majority of sexual assault and rape.
Men learn that women can be persuaded into bed when they are inebriated. This is because alcohol supresses women’s natural reluctance. It’s called inhibition because of the assumption that women should respond as men do. Whereas, in truth, the key emotional reward (when a woman loves a man) involves giving pleasure. Women choose not to participate in sexual activity because they don’t have a sex drive and because they do not obtain any particular pleasure from sex. This is not inhibition, in the sense of repressing natural urges. Women don’t have sexual urges in the first place.
Men instinctively know they have the greater sexual need. Men need to pursue and date women. If women were keen, it would not be a male conquest. Young women, flattered by men’s advances, think they are being clever by giving men what they want. But a woman needs a strong character to stand up to a man’s highly persuasive tactics. The difference, between a lady and a tart, is that a lady keeps her legs crossed. Ladies are respected; tarts are not. When a man pressures a woman, he knows that she does not want sex in the way that he does. Some women are too timid to say no. Others hope that by offering sex they will gain some advantage, or just love.
Anyone who is intent on orgasm knows what they need to do to achieve it. Humans reproduction is successful because of men’s proactivity (male sex drive) and women’s sexual passivity. Women are more willing to accept intercourse (with all its risks) as a loving-making act because it leads to family. Yet most men want intercourse considerably more frequently than is required for reproduction. Women are generally much less keen on engaging in the more explicit genital stimulation used by gays of both sexes.
Once a man finds a lover, he may be motivated to protect a woman who provides him with so much pleasure. Women look for this protection as an emotional reassurance. Men look for reassurance through sex. A woman uses intercourse to keep a man dedicated to her. This female behaviour together with male responsiveness are crucial to human reproduction. Men assume women enjoy intercourse as an erotic pleasure. This male fantasy allows women to fake the evidence of responsiveness that is vital to men.
A woman offers her body to a man to give him the pleasure he wants. When a woman leaves a man’s bedroom, she may feel awkward on encountering another woman. Mothers often dislike the idea of teenage (or adult) children having sex in their home. The idea of sexual activity is offensive to them unless it is linked to the commitment of a serious relationship. Women will often use an emotional connection to justify sexual activity.
A man can be made to feel ashamed of his sexual activities (by a woman for example) but he feels no natural shame because of the pleasure he enjoys. Once she is married, a woman engages in sexual activity in the privacy of her own home. There are no observers and her participation can be implicit rather than being explicitly acknowledged to the world. This reflects the shame many women feel over the trade between offering sex and having a family. Women’s embarrassment over sex derives from their passive role. Having the facts of their sexuality is critical to women gaining some of the confidence men naturally have to face the world with their heads held high.
Girls do not discuss sexual activities as freely or as frequently as boys do. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)