Once a man has experienced intercourse, sexual frustration tends to be felt more acutely. There are many triggers that cause male arousal throughout the day. This constant rearousal causes intense frustration if a man has no opportunity to release sexual tension by ejaculating through intercourse. Penetrative sex completes a man’s arousal cycle (from erection to ejaculation) in a way that maximises the sexual satisfaction a man obtains.
A man is acutely aware of his sexual needs (and his frustration when those needs are not met). The strength of male sex drive tends to make men selfish in obtaining what they want and often oblivious to women’s perspective. Men’s goal when engaging in sexual activity is simple. Men want to enjoy their own arousal by close contact with a lover’s body, enjoy various forms of penile stimulation but ultimately to obtain the sexual release of ejaculating into a lover’s body. Men marry because they figure out that marriage involves a man having a regular sexual outlet.
Men are rarely motivated to take on the daily care of the children that result from their desire for intercourse. Men prefer to engage in active pursuits rather than care for others. Marriage is a legal contract that exists in every human society to ensure that men support women who care for their children. A woman can reward a man for his commitment to the relationship by offering intercourse. A woman’s key sexual role is to facilitate male orgasm, which also minimises the times she needs to spend.
Men enjoy sex regardless of any relationship. A man doesn’t take offense easily and his sex drive is unaffected. When a woman is angry with her lover, she doesn’t want him to touch her. She doesn’t want him to have the pleasure of her body because he has hurt her. She remembers each occasion as evidence that a man does not care for her. On the other hand men don’t obtain the same emotional benefits that women do from their relationships.
Male sex drive causes men to prey on women. A man is attracted by identifying a woman. A man’s other senses shut-down as his mind becomes focused on the intense arousal he feels from observing her. He imagines having her naked and what intercourse would feel like. He decides on a strategy to approach her and try to charm her into bed.
When a carnivore lines up its prey you can see the tension. A bird flutters and rustles. The cat is mesmerised by the sight and sound of its prey. The predator sways on its haunches as it stares with fixed concentration at its prey. It’s thinking about how it can succeed in catching the bird. Then the cat tenses in anticipation. It sets off and pounces on the prey holding it down until it has subdued the victim by fear or physically paralysed it.
A dog chases a ball because the ball represents a small animal. Similarly a man is attracted to a woman because of the way she looks or moves. His sex drive (urge to penetrate) motivates him to want to mate with her. But what does a woman want to catch, overpower and dominate? Women are clearly not aroused by nudity or by sexual opportunities as men are.
Men can’t understand why women are offended by sex. Sex is vital to men, so they can’t accept that intercourse is primarily a male pleasure. Just as men naturally love sex, women are naturally indifferent to it. Intercourse, as an act of impregnation, involves little pleasure for a woman. Women cannot understand why men find such a mundane act so fascinating.
The concept of sexual equality much more typically refers to encouraging women to behave more like men than the idea that men might want to emulate female behaviours. Male superiority is often assumed. Men talk about ‘giving a woman an orgasm’. They assume that their expertise during lovemaking causes a woman to orgasm. This belief justifies their desire to touch, kiss and penetrate her body. A man admires a woman’s femininity, which includes her docility, her compassion and her sensitivity.
Most men prefer to keep female sexuality as an unsolvable mystery rather than discuss any kind of facts or logic. Female sexuality only seems complex because men interpret women’s behaviours and emotional responses as sexual responsiveness. Men insist on trying to justify sexual activity that clearly motivated by male sexual pleasure. Men don’t want to accept that sex is so one-sided in case they lose out on sexual opportunities.
The frequencies of marital intercourse are two or three times as high as the intercourse of the single male. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)