Sunday, April 21, 2019
Home Intellectual aspects of sexuality The sexual mind Men are aroused by seeing & stimulating genitals

Men are aroused by seeing & stimulating genitals

Most men would be interested in observing naked women as long as they were sure they would not be caught. Men who spy on women are called ‘Peeping Toms’. There is no female equivalent. Women may be curious to see male nudity if they feel safe from male advances. Women do not ogle naked men so they consider this behaviour perverted. Men and women use different toilets because women feel uncomfortable thinking that a man might be masturbating himself while watching her relieve herself.

Straight men can enjoy lesbian sex play because they are aroused by female nudity. Heterosexual eroticism is defined by images of women’s breasts and buttocks clad in bikinis and revealing clothing. There are no similar images of men. When a man sexually appraises a woman’s body, she cannot retaliate. She is helpless because women (even lesbians) are not aroused by body parts as men are. Women experience emotional (not sexual) attraction to a man they love because he is caring and loving.

If women were aroused by nudity as men are, they would create demand for images of male nudity. Gay men are aroused by images of male nudity. Male homosexual images are circulated only within gay circles. Women are typically offended by images of male nudity. If women enjoyed the same images, then we would see male homosexual porn openly distributed. But also men would display their sexual attributes to women as a turn-on.

As a child there are no discharges from the vagina and a woman is unaware of her internal anatomy. At adolescence, vaginal discharges begin. Some are healthy and others less so. These discharges mark a woman’s underwear and she is embarrassed by this uncleanliness. For this reason, women are appalled by some men’s fascination with women’s underwear.

Most women consider their genitals to be dirty. Many women prefer to use an applicator to insert a tampon rather than a finger, to avoid touching their genitals. During childbirth a woman’s skin can tear from the vagina to the anus. Because of embarrassment women often fail to ensure that these tears are properly repaired and that they heal satisfactorily. Older women often suffer from bowel and bladder incontinence as a result of such damage. Not only are they too embarrassed to ask a lover to look for them but they are not even motivated to use a mirror to look at their genitals. This aversion to genitals is inbuilt and not the result of upbringing or attitudes.

Men refer to the ‘honeypot’ to reflect their enjoyment of the pleasure a vagina can provide. Women don’t have similar terms of endearment for the penis. It is sometimes called the ‘one-eyed snake’ because of the opening to the ureter (where urine comes out) in the centre of the glans. Male lovers of men describe fellatio and male ejaculation enthusiastically and in explicitly graphic terms. Women do not have such explicit turn-ons.

Men enjoy talking about ‘pussy juices’. Others are turned-on by the idea of a woman urinating, typically over their testicles during intercourse. This is very likely where the male fantasy of female ejaculation comes from. Women are not similarly fascinated by their own discharges or a lover’s ejaculation. If a woman remains lying down after intercourse, semen flows onto the sheets creating a wet patch, which is sticky to lie in. So a woman runs to the bathroom (cupping her hand to catch any drips) to wash her genitals. She takes no delight in this. It is merely an inconvenience.

Women are more sensitive about body function (noises and smells) than men are. Men can enjoy watching a woman urinate because they can see her genitals. The activity is significant to them. Gay men use rimming, which involves using the tongue to stimulate a lover’s anus. Deep rimming involves inserting the tongue deep into a lover’s anus. Filching involves ejaculating into a lover’s rectum then sucking out semen and fecal matter.

The idea of a man ejaculating semen into her mouth is enough to make most women want to vomit. One of the key reasons men go to prostitutes is to obtain fellatio, which is evidence that most women will not offer it. Women never pay for cunnilingus. Cunnilingus is offered by men who are aroused by exploring a woman’s body. A woman feels very little sensation from cunnilingus but she may accept it to give a man some erotic pleasure.

But in all this quantity of pornographic production it is exceedingly difficult to find any material that has been produced by females. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)