Learn About Sexuality

Men are aroused by seeing & stimulating genitals

Male mammals are motivated to engage in activities other than the mating act itself. They enjoy stimulating their own and a partner’s genitals. Male mammals are also motivated to obtain oral stimulation of their genitalia. This indicates the male’s much greater fascination with genitals and his motivation to engage in genital sex play of all varieties.

The precedent from Nature is clear. The male is preoccupied with his own genitals and those of the opposite sex. Females are not. Observing and stimulating their own genitals, as well as those of a lover, has an emotionally significance for men. Men assume that because they are interested in genitals that women should have the same motivation to engage in genital stimulation.

When a man is with a male lover, he starts with genital display. By showing his lover his erect penis he communicates his desire to be stimulated and his ability or need to engage in penetrative sex. Another man understands this situation because he feels the same way when he has an erection. Men do kiss and cuddle on occasion. But demonstrating affection is a secondary priority to enjoying genital stimulation.

A man’s interest in his own penis comes from his frequent or regular state of arousal. A man’s interest in the genitals of a partner comes from his sex drive. Men think of their penis as their most prized possession. They also assume that because they feel so good when they look at, touch or penetrate a loves body that their lover must feel the same way about their penis. So a man is offended if a woman seems unenthusiastic about intercourse or fellatio.

As for other male mammals, men are aroused by smells and secretions. A man may want to ejaculate over a lover’s body or to enjoy a woman urinating over his testicles as she rides him, stimulating his penis with her vagina. Men enjoy sharing details of anatomy, secretions and responses. Intercourse completes a man’s arousal cycle thereby providing his sense of emotional well-being. So ejaculating into a vagina has a special emotional significance.

Men are often fascinated by and sometimes aroused by the process of producing body fluids such as urine, semen or even faeces. Rimming involves using one’s tongue to stimulate a lover’s anus. Deep rimming involves inserting one’s tongue as far as possible into someone’s anus. It is best done with a clean anus and with the rectum devoid of faeces. Filching involves ejaculating into a lover’s rectum, and then sucking the seminal fluids out along with other juices and possible fecal matter.

A man’s penis provides him with great personal pleasure. So he hopes that his penis can also provide a woman with a similar pleasure. This is an emotional belief. A man wants to believe that a woman will continue to offer intercourse. Male homosexuals know that a partner needs to stimulate their own sex organ if they are to have an orgasm.

Pornography and erotic fiction give young women the impression that they are supposed to engage in activities like oral sex with a partner and that they should enjoy such activities. But these are activities that men enjoy and that men hope (in their fantasies) that women will perform for them. Women are typically sensitive to hygiene issues. The idea that men can enjoy engaging in such primitive activities only confirms women’s belief that ‘men are animals’ when it comes to sex. Not all men presumably.

Men enjoy the sensations of arousal and they focus on penetrative sex. So quite naturally when they are with a potential partner they want to display their erect genitals. This desire to display is usually limited to a sexual partner but some men want to display their penis to women they find attractive or just any woman. When this is on a one-on-one basis it is called ‘flashing’. Such men wear nothing but an overcoat and open it suddenly to display their penis surreptitiously or blatantly. These men appear to drive some satisfaction from a woman’s shriek or her expression of disgust.

Kinsey commented that old men are sometimes accused of sexual misdemeanours when they are impotent. These men may only want to hold hands. At other times there may be genital exposure involved. Such activities do not cause physical harm but they threaten a person who may be shocked or disgusted by the idea that a man wants to expose his genitals.

Nearly all paedophiles are male. Very few (1% to 6% of perpetrators) are female. Drugs that suppress production of the male hormone testosterone are used to reduce the frequency or intensity of sexual desire. Most people with paedophilic tendencies eventually act on their urges in some way. Typically, this involves exposing themselves to children, watching naked children, masturbating in front of children, or touching children’s genitals. Oral, anal, or vaginal penetration are less common.

The order of appearance of the several homosexual techniques is: exhibition of the genitalia, manual manipulation of genitalia, anal or oral contacts with genitalia, and urethral insertions. (Alfred Kinsey 1948)

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