Learn About Sexuality

How a heterosexual man can have sex more often

Most men are interested foremost in a woman’s physical appearance and her sexual willingness. They may enjoy casual sex for the opportunity to experience first-hand the variation in the genital anatomy and physical responses of a new partner. They may appreciate trying out new positions.

Some men, due to emotional insensitivity or having a high sex drive ignore any indications of a woman’s indifference. Men from the uneducated classes are also more likely to use prostitutes as a sexual outlet. A man focuses on his own enjoyment and ignores the woman’s behaviour. He takes what he needs and assumes that she is willing enough to go along with sex. He’s not overly concerned about what she gets out of it.

Such men prefer to head straight for intercourse rather than offer a partner any foreplay. They focus on enjoying their own responsiveness rather than a lover’s arousal. Their self-absorption makes them relatively oblivious to a lover’s perspective, who is relieved of any need to exaggerate her arousal. A man who takes his own pleasure in the form of intercourse, has more sex because he expects little ‘performance’ from a woman. A woman can enjoy being the object of a man’s desire with very little effort and without needing to emulate any kind of ‘responsiveness’.

Other men like to engage in foreplay. Some men do this because they believe that women need to be stimulated for longer if they are to have an orgasm. But a woman is not aroused by sexual activity with a lover, so she cannot orgasm no matter how long she is stimulated. Physical stimulation only leads to orgasm once a person is psychologically aroused.

Women don’t want sex to go on for ever because they are not aroused by sexual activity with a lover. The average time a man lasts (from penetration until ejaculation) is only two minutes, which is hardly onerous. But when a man wants to spend time on foreplay, sex becomes harder for a woman. It is not just the time involved but also the need to appear engaged! What are women supposed to do while men are enjoying themselves?

Because of men’s persistent and never-ending interest in sex, some women do explore sexual pleasure. A woman may offer to pleasure a man but she may also be willing to let him pleasure her. A woman needs to be in the mood to give a man the time to do this. This is likely to occur only sporadically and relies on many factors such as a woman’s general contentedness and the state of the relationship.

A man thinks of sex as a conquest that is solely due to his sexual prowess. This achievement depends on the fact that most women are not easy to get into bed. Once a man has been accepted by a woman he relies on her being more amenable than other women. Otherwise he would just go elsewhere. Instinctively a man knows that when a woman cares for him (she is emotionally attached to him) she is more likely to be amenable to sex than a woman he does not know.

Faking orgasm provides an easy way for a woman to speed up sex and get it over with as quickly as possible. If a woman lies (by faking orgasm) to a man he finds her hugely attractive. If she’s honest then he finds another woman. What do men expect? Some women refuse to fake just to satisfy a male lover. They consider faking to be humiliating and frankly ridiculous.

It’s important to bear in mind the basic reproductive biology. All that is required for reproduction is for a man to be motivated to mount the female and thrust into her vagina until ejaculation. Anything else is extra and surplus to the requirements of reproduction. A woman is impregnated regardless of her pleasure. A woman only needs to have a nature that ensures she will cooperate with intercourse regardless of her own desires.

Sex, for men, is like a fuel or a life force. Men do into battle (whether a military conflict, a sports competition or a political confrontation) so much more readily once they have had the sex they need. Some women, especially the wives of ambitious men, pick up on this intuitively.

Men respond most readily to sexual activity with a lover rather than when they have to use their imagination alone. So it makes sense that less educated men (who masturbate less but have intercourse more) have more orgasms. Research indicates that the men with the highest overall orgasm frequencies throughout their lives are the less educated (those who are not educated beyond high school).

Kinsey concluded that the vast majority of men focus on achieving orgasm as quickly as possible. So most women really don’t have to do anything. There is only the disconcerting, social situation where a woman has to remain in position while a man thrust into her without getting anything out of the situation for herself.

Surveys have revealed that 75% of men ejaculate within 2 minutes of penetration. (Antony Mason 1998)

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