Learn About Sexuality

The clitoris responds very differently to the penis

Kinsey established that the clitoris was the female sex organ. But it has not been accepted as the source of female orgasm by men or even by women. What is confusing is that the clitoris does not respond in the way that the penis does. It does not provide immediate and obvious pleasure to any woman. The vagina is the female anatomy men are motivated to stimulate. So once the possibility of female orgasm was known about, it was naturally attributed to the vagina rather than to the clitoris that no one had heard of.

Women are only capable of orgasm because of the anatomy they have in common with men. The clitoris is the homologue of the penis. Both organs develop from the same structure in the embryo. But the development of this rudimentary genital tubercle in the womb is very different depending on sex. The clitoris consists of the bud and the internal organ.

Once they have an erection boys enjoy significant pleasure from penile stimulation. For men this increase in sensitivity is significant. The penis becomes highly sensitised especially over the glans. Girls do not experience clitoral erections. Even as older women, clitoral erections do not cause the genital area to become more sensitive or to make orgasm any easier to achieve. The clitoris is not a ‘mini penis’!

Girls are much less responsive than boys (they experience orgasm much less commonly and less frequently). So girls have much less motivation to investigate genital stimulation because they are not spontaneously aroused. A woman is not even conscious of having a clitoris. The clitoris provides little sensation except in very specific circumstances. A woman needs to know how to achieve arousal but she also needs the circumstances that are conducive to orgasm. This includes an environment of absolute privacy with no distractions so that she can achieve the necessary focus on fantasy. Very few women are responsive enough to discover orgasm.

Once the clitoris was identified as the female sex organ, it was suggested that women could be helped to orgasm if a partner provided the necessary clitoral stimulation. This suggestion was in keeping with men’s proactive sexual role of stimulating a lover as well as women’s sexual passivity, which arises because of their lack of arousal with a lover.

Random or general stimulation of the clitoris is not sensationally pleasurable. Explicit stimulation by a lover of the bud (even through the clitoral hood) causes women to have a range of responses from indifference to causing them to feel uncomfortable or irritated. When a woman masturbates (to orgasm) she achieves orgasm by using a highly specific form of stimulation. She uses a combination of massaging over the clitoris and pelvic muscle pressure from behind the internal clitoral organ.

The clitoris is typically too sensitive for a partner to be able to stimulate a woman manually. When a man first learns how to stimulate a woman he needs to appreciate that the technique is much delicate than he is used to when masturbating himself. A woman must always be on her front.

Women evidently do not orgasm either through masturbation with a lover or through oral sex. Otherwise we wouldn’t have a situation where most heterosexuals assume women orgasm through intercourse. If clitoral stimulation with a lover worked there wouldn’t be a problem with anyone accepting that the clitoris is the female sex organ.

If women experienced arousal as men do, then they would know that the clitoris is their sex organ. They would also be motivated to stimulate the clitoris with a lover. They would not wait to be stimulated by a lover in the way that he prefers. A woman cannot stimulate herself to orgasm with a lover because of the impossibility of becoming aroused when someone else is present. This is how women’s sexual psychology works.

Today some women suggest that they use a sex toy or fingers to stimulate the clitoris during intercourse. They are apparently unaware that this kind of clitoral stimulation does not cause orgasm. Women who have never had an orgasm, are unaware of just how inflexible the conditions are that a woman needs to reach orgasm.

The understanding of female responsiveness has traditionally focused on physical stimulation techniques not on psychological arousal. It has been little understood that clitoral stimulation represents a way of achieving orgasm when combined with an intense focus on fantasy. A woman does not orgasm spontaneously. It is more about immersing herself in a fantasy that provides the arousal she needs for orgasm.

Women don’t orgasm when asleep because it is such hard work even when fully awake. Also the psychological environment of dreams is not intensely focused enough to lead to orgasm. A woman has to push her way towards orgasm at every stage with studied concentration. At no point is female orgasm inevitable except once it is already happening.

The clitoris, which is the phallus of the female, is the homologue of the penis of the male. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)

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